Just written a (very) short story. I'm looking to try and develop a writing style that will enable me to make longer ones in future, perhaps leading to a full length book. Any criticism of the piece and what I should do to improve it is much appreciated. Thanks guys!
http://hubpages.com/hub/What-is-Real-A- … first-edit
I just don't know the first thing about writing a book and so would not be the best person to offer advice. I am sure there are some folks out there that can help but may hap they are asleep or something. Why are they not here!!! Surely they are just as addicted to hub pages as we are
I'm out there. I'm always somewhere I shouldn't be. I shall read your hub DogSiDaed. And are you over your morning grumps yet?
Good good I note you now have a fledgling funship with Nell Gwynn. I hope it's a mutal attraction
I read your tale, liked what I read and left my thoughts on the page. Good stuff and well done you.
And stop that moshing business. For sure you'll contract a headache. Or at least ... weird stares
It's normally the neck that goes first XD I woke up after a gig the other week and I could barely move my head XD
Necks are important. They keep one's head right where it needs to be. North of the shoulders. I'd be careful if I were you ... broken necks usually cause pain, droopy heads and on occassion, a visit from the Grim Reaper
I've read your story and it is engaging. I wouldn't be the right person qualified to critique your story, but I can tell you what I'd like to see as a reader.
There are some strong emotions depicted here, but I'd like to see more done to develop the visualization of these. Another suggestion is to avoid using clichés such as "the world is his oyster".
Good start, and I'm looking forward to reading more!
Thank you, duly noted I will try and change that annoying little cliche And I'll do a second edit soon with more descriptive detail. Cheers!
Glad to help! Let us know when you have the second edit ready.
Left you a comment on this hub... a good writing style to follow.. Good effort DSD.
No problems I had to do it, I saw it on an album cover and just went 'That's awesome!'
I can make it more christmassy for you if you like?
Remember the last time you offered to explain your poetry to me and I challenged you to do it? So don't mess with me cuz I'll take you by the word. But no. This is more than enough to make me feel like old times.
Your Christmas avatar is not what I'd expect from you DogSiDaed. I thought you'd be more along the lines of kittens playing in the snow
Still, at least you've attempted to 'tinsel' up.
*still thinks the big guns are way obvious though*
There you go. I'm now with hat. Whoopee
You are always festive, froggy. Loving it.
I constructed a criticism for your story. I like the pensiveness of it, and that you left so many unanswered questions. And because you did that, you'll have everyone angry that you didn't really finish it, mate.
Bizzare new avatar. Reminds me of my own rocker, young adult kids. Fun.
Finish the story. (Purdy pleeeze.)
Oh, yeah, Happy Christmas.
Ok, I've done an unproofed second edit, which will be proofed by tonight. Then in the New Year I should have more to follow
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