I'd like feedback on my article: Geely Automobile Group

Jump to Last Post 1-2 of 2 discussions (7 posts)
  1. agvulpes profile image86
    agvulpesposted 7 months ago

    Hi Hubbers,

    I'd like some help with passing the Quality Assessment Process. Will you please give feedback on my article Geely Automobile Group. What can I do to improve?
    It has been suggested that I 'proofread' the Hub and I thought some fresh eyes may help me by finding any errors in spelling/ grammar that I keep missing.
    I appreciate any help
    Thanks!

    1. theraggededge profile image98
      theraggededgeposted 7 months agoin reply to this

      Hiya,

      Okay, going to go through it quickly.

      Don't use 'company' twice in the same sentence unless it is the name of the organisation, in which case it should be capitalised.

      You need a proper introduction. Tell your reader what the article is about and why they need to know more.

      Punctuation is a bit 'all over the place'. Too many exclamation points. You rarely need an exclamation point in a factual article.  Also overuse of inverted commas. There are commas and periods/full stops misplaced throughout, some with spaces before them. Run it through Grammarly.

      You have a distinctive voice, but I think it's too much in your reader's face. Can you dial it back a little? Read it aloud. At a medium speed. It will help you identify the phrases that don't work. For example, "Well I have a confession to make! I had never heard of Geely until the other night when I heard that Geely cars, starting with the Geely MK fitted a 1.5 litre engine,..."

      Fitted it to what? And why is that relevant in that sentence? It's too much like a shouty blog post. Doesn't this saound better? "I have a confession to make. I'd never even heard of Geely until very recently." [Note: Now I realise this article is five years old, this sounds all wrong.]

      Make sure there is a blank line between paragraphs, as I have done here. Two returns, not one.

      Your update is a bit out of date. 2013? How about you bring the article right up to date with a proper rewrite? I would think after all these years, the company is established now and most people in Australia have heard of it. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geely

      Good luck.

      Edit: the name of the company is Geely Automobile Holdings Ltd., though it seems to use different names in different countries.

      1. agvulpes profile image86
        agvulpesposted 7 months agoin reply to this

        G'day Bev and thanks for the comprehensive Critique smile
        You have given me a lot to absorb here and much to take into this old brain.
        I do like your idea of a complete rewrite and I will give it serious consideration .
        LOL I did not realise that my voice was in 'your face' and will indeed read the Hub out loud. Great idea smile
        Once again I very much appreciate your advice .

        1. theraggededge profile image98
          theraggededgeposted 7 months agoin reply to this

          Don't get me wrong - having a unique voice is not a bad thing. I like articles that relate the topic back to the writer. I just think there was a little too much. It's probably because I'm a puritanical pommie big_smile I think you might be able to do a lot with the article by bringing it into the present. For instance, did you buy a Geely? Do you know someone who drives one daily? Do they run well. After five years, there must be quite a lot of data available.

          1. agvulpes profile image86
            agvulpesposted 7 months agoin reply to this

            You , a puritanical Pommie ? I never would have believed it ?? (a bit of Aussie Humor)
            Seriously though you have given me a LOT to think about.
            The Geely brand has indeed gone through huge changes in the last five years and will need plenty of research.
            Thanks again for the boost smile

  2. DrMark1961 profile image97
    DrMark1961posted 7 months ago

    Just a short addittion to BevĀ“s post: I felt the title did not give me an idea of what I would be reading. How about just focusing on Geely Automobile in Autstralia?

    1. agvulpes profile image86
      agvulpesposted 7 months agoin reply to this

      Dr Mark good point and one that I missed because in my head that was my intention ?

 
working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)