Short sentences to me, make choppy reading sometimes

  1. GwennyOh profile image83
    GwennyOhposted 4 years ago

    I am working on getting an article moved to Exemplore. I was asked to reduce the length of sentences. My specialty is compound sentences. Dang! But now I have started. I have much more of the same to do on the piece, but as it stands, I don't like how it reads. I am not used to writing that way. It to me reads like: see Dick run. No, more like see. Dick. run. I am embarrassed to rewrite it this way. There is one point that I can't think of an artful way to rewrite. Opinions accepted. The passage:

    "Why scry? A better question would be, why not? People are naturally curious. They also lean towards helping others. At some point, we all want to know what we can do to help someone without interfering. Scrying helps by supplying insight into problem-solving of any kind."

    To me, the above requires that 'people are naturally curious' and that they 'lean towards helping others,' to become a compound sentence to flow. Example: People are naturally curious; they also lean towards helping others. See what I mean? To me, they are otherwise snips and incomplete in some way. By the way, I used a semicolon instead of a comma due to the context of that sentence relative to the next sentence--the first half does not apply.

    I have also thought of adding into the sentences, and in instances have in attempt to keep them short, but with a flow. Even so, these two sentences separated from their original compound form, seem lifeless and affect my feelings on the whole piece. I cannot think of any one or two words to add to either sentence to give that section life. It is not the only section where I've run into the same, but let's just look at this for now.

    Help me out. I know you have wisdom to offer. Thanks in advance.

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    1. GwennyOh profile image83
      GwennyOhposted 4 years agoin reply to this

      I have only begun to shorten sentences, but please be honest and tell me if it reads choppily to you. Here's the link. https://hubpages.com/hub/Scrying-How-to … ts?hubview

      replyreport
 
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