please help on my first commercial hub

  1. seanorjohn profile image80
    seanorjohnposted 7 years ago

    Thanks to all of you brilliant hubbers for helping me choose a title for my first commercial hub. Could anyone look over "How to make money from home- helping others". I was thinking of adding a youtube video but it is only geared to the UK. Should I do it? Or would that alienate others?

  2. lrohner profile image80
    lrohnerposted 7 years ago

    I think you've done a great job! It reads well and is informative. Layout wise, you might want to split the text into a couple of capsules to allow for more ads to show up.

    And IMO, leading sentences aren't needed. I would just get rid of the first and last sentences in your first paragraph: "This is a guide..." and "So let me show you...". I think it would read much better and sound more professional without those.

    I would go ahead and add the video. There can't be that much difference between baby sitting agencies in the UK and us--at least I don't think! smile

    Again, great job.

    1. seanorjohn profile image80
      seanorjohnposted 7 years agoin reply to this

      Thanks Irohner. I got rid of last sentence as suggested. I wanted the first sentence kept  because it hopefully repeats key words. I'm looking to change those. Thanks again for your kind help.