So i wrote a children's book and I'm wondering what people think. Feel free to be completely honest because I would like to be able to improve.
http://hubpages.com/hub/the-Poor-Little … Wooden-Leg
And since i don't want to make multiple threads for myself I'd also like feedback on this poem.
This is fun and a great read.
There is an awful lot of redundancies / repetitive expressions. I do understand that this is for children and should be clear, but an editor would trim this substantially without anything being lost.
Another issue: This work is already available on the Internet, at least snippets of it, as the book is previously published. You will likely run into problems with duplicate content filtering and penalties as described in the HubPages FAQ.
The issue of it being on the internet other then this site has been resolved. I had it on a different site my cousin had showed me a year ago and forgot to delete it from there.
I find it very difficult to have empathy for a fly. Having said that, I think that the story is fine but wordy. It might be written for too old a child. I think the story is akin to The Little Engine That Could.
The children that would like this, are probably more picture book age. That means a lot less words and lots of illustrations. Also, does it make sense to get the child to relate to the fly and his challenges and disabilities and then end up being killed? I don't think so. As an adult fairy tale, it might fly, (pun intended) but for a child, I don't think they could appreciate the irony. They may draw the conclusion that if they are different, they are going to have a very hard life and then get squashed and never be able to succeed.
The story needs to end with the little fly's success. Children that would like the story are likely to think in very concrete terms.
It's a nice story! However, it seems more directly aimed at middle-aged children, rather than little ones. Context needs to be narrowed down a bit from my view.
thanks for the responses, I'm gonna look at shortening it and at an alternate ending where the fly wins.
by Mandoliv 7 years ago
Hello everyone. I was just wondering, what is the point of the Subdomain? It asks me a security question, then says 'Success! Your profile and hubs have been transferred to your subdomain.". Heh??
by Christian L Perry 4 months ago
What is the root cause of poverty in the world?
by Buildreps 3 years ago
Just checked it on Alexa.com, and realized which (alleged) effect the Panda updates of Google has on traffic. Although I'm still happy with the traffic my Hubs have, are the foundations increasingly eroding. Are there any ideas to change this trend? http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/hubpages.com
by Website Examiner 8 years ago
This thread was opened in response to a recent hub, "Community Is Dead Long Live The Lone." Mordechai Zoltan is thrilled about the wealth of opportunities the online world has got to offer, but also concerned whether it is making us insensitive to our real neighbors. And, he wonders, can...
by Terrie Lynn 17 months ago
Hi, everyone you might want to check the internet for your work. I've now found 3 of my articles on Facebook sites, Pinterest and on a blog site. I am not sure I can post the name here. They seem to have stolen a few articles I have read on here. If you have medical or heal dove pages some have...
by David Livermore 4 years ago
First off, this isn't a post bashing Hubpages. I have enjoyed my time here for the last two years. But this recent incident has rubbed me the wrong way.I recently published this hub: How to Delete Yourself from the Internet. It is my 100th hub (yay), so I was excited about...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|