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Appreciate feedback on my first hubs

  1. prism3x profile image60
    prism3xposted 5 years ago

    Fairly new to writing hubs and want to know if the presentation is in the right direction for writing or anything else viewable.  All comments appreciated.  Thanks


    http://prism3x.hubpages.com/hub/why-use … and-garden

    http://prism3x.hubpages.com/hub/Raised- … d-mobility

    1. CASE1WORKER profile image78
      CASE1WORKERposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      The need for ergonomic tools is important to discover when using hand tools for the home, hobby and garden. Particularly, if the tools are applied for extended periods of time. A wide range of companies create the tools, gloves constructed to fit the worker to the function with safety and comfort integrated into the design.

      I cut and pasted this from your hub. I think that most experienced hubbers would immediately think that this was spun - that is, the grammar and the language used is not quite right.

      I think you have a lot of very interesting points  to make, but I would expand each sentence with detail rather than the somewhat clipped sentences we see.
      Please dont take this to heart, but this part of the forum does ask for frank feedback. it might be worth your time to read a little more hubs to see the writing styles of other hubbers - I am learning every day and have found  HP a great place to write with- so keep at it!!

      1. John Holden profile image61
        John Holdenposted 5 years ago in reply to this

        A few more hubs, please, not a little more! lol

    2. John Holden profile image61
      John Holdenposted 5 years ago in reply to this

      More or less what caseworker said.

      I couldn't quite put my finger on why they are not too easy to read, I think it's a lack of flow.

  2. prism3x profile image60
    prism3xposted 5 years ago

    Thanks for the feedback!  This is what I was hoping for.  I was so anxious to get the articles written but another set of eyes sees them differently.  Thanks so much and will rethink the articles.

 
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