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Another Genie Joke

  1. DzyMsLizzy profile image96
    DzyMsLizzyposted 6 years ago

    A recently divorced woman walking on the beach, spots an old lamp.  She picks it up, says, "What they heck, why not?"  and rubs it.  Sure enough, out pops a Genie. 

    The Genie says, "I'll grant you 3 wishes, but you must remember, whatever you wish for, your ex-husband will get double."
    This stumps the woman for a moment, then she wishes for a million dollars.
    "POOF!"  Done!
    "Oh, darn..but now that means my ex has 2 million, doesn't it?!"  The Genie nods his assent.
    She thinks for few more moments, then wishes for a pound of precious jewels.
    "POOF!"  Done!
    "Oh, NO!  I've done it again, haven't I?" She asks the Genie, who again nods.

    The woman goes silent for a few more moments, then says, I've got it!  And she tells the Genie,
    "For my final wish, I want you to scare me half to death!"

    1. Michael Willis profile image80
      Michael Willisposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      LOL, I like this one!

  2. Rosie2010 profile image76
    Rosie2010posted 6 years ago

    Lizzy, here's another genie joke...

    Three Guys, A Genie, And A Cliff

    Three guys are walking through the woods and they find a
    genie sitting by a cliff.  The genie says "I will grant
    you each one wish, all you have to do is say what you want
    and jump off the cliff".

    The first guy goes to the edge, yells "Money" and jumps
    off, he lands in a humongous pile of money.

    The second guy gets up and yells "Women", he lands among
    hundreds of women.

    The third guy, who is pretty excited now, gets to the edge
    of the cliff, trips and yells, "Sh*t!!!!"

    1. DzyMsLizzy profile image96
      DzyMsLizzyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Hahahaha.... (eeeew....!)

  3. elayne001 profile image72
    elayne001posted 6 years ago

    Since I live on an island, here is another genie joke...

    There were three men stranded on an island. They had been there for a very long time, when one morning a magic lamp washed upon the shore.

    The men saw it and picked it up. The men rubbed the lamp and a genie popped appeared. After the genie rose up he granted the men one wish each.

    The first man thought about his wish and made it count. After thinking the man finally said, "I wish I was back at home." Then poof, he disappeared.

    The second man thought long and hard about his wish. Finally the man said, "I wish I was at home with my family." Then poof, he vanished.

    The last wish went to the last man on the island. He looked around and felt very lonely. It took a while to think of a good wish and finally an idea came into his mind.

    The third man said, "I wish that my two best friends were on this island with me," and poof, the two other men appeared on the island again.

    1. DzyMsLizzy profile image96
      DzyMsLizzyposted 6 years agoin reply to this

      Uh-oh----hahahaha!  I bet they were no longer his best buds, and he got a lot of exercise running from them... lol

  4. Rosie2010 profile image76
    Rosie2010posted 6 years ago

    Lizzy, another genie joke for you...

    A man and an ostrich walk into a restaurant. The waitress asks, "What will it be?"

    The man replied "a burger and a coke." "And you?" "I'll have the same," the ostrich replies. They finish their meal and pay. "That will be $4.50," The man reached into his pocket and pulled out the exact amount. They do this every day till Fri.

    "The usual?" she asked. "No, today is Friday. I'll have steak and a coke."
    "Me too." says the ostrich. They finish and pay. "That will be $10.95"
    The man reached in and pulls out the exact amount again just like all week.
    The waitress was dumb-founded. "How is it that you always have the exact amount?"

    "Well," says the man. "I was cleaning my attic and I found a dusty lamp. I rubbed it and a genie appeared." Wow!" said the waitress. "What did you wish for?"

    "I asked that when I needed to pay for something, the exact amount would appear in my pocket." "Amazing! Most people would ask for a million dollars. But what's with the ostrich?" "Well," said the man. "I also asked for a chick with long legs."