Since it's a crispy 102 degrees today, I thought this could lighten the mood...
You Know It's Hot Outside When...
You notice your car overheating before you drive it.
Your computer won't work unless it has it's own AC blowing on it.
Hot air balloons can't go up, because the air outside is hotter than the air inside.
Airplanes can't land because the asphalt is too soft.
You discover that it only takes two fingers to drive your car.
The swans in the park come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy."
Hotter water comes from the cold water tap than the hot one.
The strawberries are ripe and the cab drivers are riper.
Your pool water starts to boil in the sun.
The hot-dogs sold outside Yankee Stadium are actually hot.
Pigs complain about sweating like fat humans.
A scalding hot shower still cools you down.
You've been getting hot flashes, and you're a man.
People walking down the sidewalk spontaneously burst into flames.
A $20 surcharge is added to your bill when you eat at air-conditioned restaurants.
The politicians take their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves.
You need a spatula to remove your clothing.
When the beer gut and big butt don't keep you from wearing shorts.
You wish you had gotten the cloth seats instead of leather.
You ask your boss for extra work so you can be in the air conditioning as much as possible.
You are sweating in both directions -- up and down!
Lawyers kill themselves because they know it's cooler in Hell.
It's noon in July, kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is moving on the streets.
Sunscreen is sold at the front of the checkout counter, a formula less than 30 spf is a joke, and you wear it just to go shopping.
You burn your hand opening the car door.
You notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
You are sitting inside reading these jokes.
Your brother's braces make blisters on his lips.
by Grace Marguerite Williams4 years ago
decided to stay in my air conditioned apartment, cruising Youtube and HubPages and God knows what else. The last time I checked, it is 97 degrees outside. Again, I do not think I will be going out today although I...
by donotfear6 years ago
So quiet outdoors.Yes, yesterday was 111 F. Thermometer in the shade of the carport says 100 right now. It's been too hot for too long. Since first of June. Not enough rain, very very little. Dead...
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