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A Bison Called Red

Updated on January 10, 2015
By Gary Parsons from Stephen Hawking's children's book George's Secret Key to the Universe
By Gary Parsons from Stephen Hawking's children's book George's Secret Key to the Universe | Source

Once upon a time

three wolves roamed the land, at least that's what it was called. And these wolves were no ordinary wolves, they were pitch black in colour and also bore names associated with the colour black.

The first was called Black Hole, the second was called Singularity and the third, Punch Hole. Along with them, a few other minor characters, hangers on, could be seen running with the wolf pack. Their names were gravity, density, mass, and infinity. Another character, who was not a hanger on but had his own entourage of black and white particles that lived as parasites on the the edge of Black Whole, was named Vacuum.

Now the location of this "land"

was not certain at all because no one knew the time nor the place of the setting. So they set it in the beginning, which begs the questions of what came before and after the beginning; And of what was placed above and below the beginning. All in good time dear reader.

Now it came to pass that the wolf pack fed itself on these parasitic particle-fleas that lived on the edge of Black Hole (though Black Hole got the greater portion) — or at least that's what some people believe. Others say that Black Hole ate the first course, and then, with the help of gravity, passed down his portion to Singularity who then, with the help of infinity, passed it down again to Punch Hole. Now when this happened density would kick in (either to help or destroy, depending on who you talk to,) Punch Hole, now so stuffed with fleas, to explode with the force of 1 million atom bombs.

At first nobody knew

why regurgitating fleas from one blackened organ to another produced this bang, until someone named Hawking discovered these particle feas had brothers on the other side of the edge of Vacuum that gave off a light called radiation. And what one brother generously gave off on the outside, the other brother jealously grasped for himself on the inside.

Now the food particles called fleas once deep inside Black Hole became feeders themselves with the help an enzyme called mass. So along this digestive black-track these feas, called negative fleas even though they looked white, feasted on Black Hole and Singularity and got fatter and fatter and fatter until they reached a critical mass of infinite indensity (which means that they got bigger than the host they were feasting on) and exploded releasing more Radiation to catch up with the low level radiation their brothers had already released on the outside.

And here, dear reader, is where the story gets strange. It was proposed by this Mr. Hawking, that this wolf pack was not original to the core, but had an ancestry going back to a first bang, he called the Bing Bang. So not only were the fleas just little nano-particles, but the ferocious wolves themselves were only derivatives, not unlike the hanger ons: gravity, 'finity and density.

Source

But now it behoves us to explain

what happened to the low level radiation light when it merged with the derivative bang light that went through a process of black metabolism or catabolism. The great Mr. Haw-King, whose fame was growing so fast he had by now become a King, surmised that the two lights could be merged by a change in displacement in the mass index of a photon and a wave and a cat who belonged to a man called Shrodinger called Red Shift.

Now here's where things really get weird dear reader. Red Shift was responsible for a displacement which also doubled as a concealment of an as yet to be discovered particle-actuator dubbed the Higgs Bison who was produced in the time of the Bing Bang of which all subsequent bangs are the offspring. Another King called Pen-Rose, challenged Mr. Haw-King to a duel in a court room designed to ascertain the veracity of the theory that awakening the Higgs Bison by attempting to reproduce an original Bang underneath a mountain in Switzerland (where all the Kings have hidden their money) would produce instead a Bing Bang at our end...leaving only a glow from a shift and a Bison now called Red.

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