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Behaviors in Spiteful People

Updated on March 21, 2018
DDE profile image

Devika enjoys sharing her work with a friendly community. Writing is a big part of her life. Online work has improved her lifestyle.

Spiteful people are less confident

My life changed in many ways, and have met several people from many cultures.

I had an upsetting experience and wished I did not go there.

There are many types of people and most of these people have petty behaviors.

It is sometimes difficult to fathom what such individuals are capable of when in the company of others.

The experience is tougher when you are with an unfriendly group. The people who you don't have much to discuss with and you got to be there but under tough circumstances.

I have learned lots about the local people and maybe they have learned of me too. At times I think I know them, and then there are those times when I don't know these people.

Some people are nice and true to you and others are false and pretend to be a friend, or a good neighbor.

This is how I see these people and have learned of such people.

Petty people are spiteful, manipulative and aggressive.

They are MEAN and have bad behaviors.

These people try to paint on their masks when with certain people as I have experienced.

She is that person.

I tried hard thinking of where can I place this person or what should I make of my experience and finally, everything came to me nicely.

The attitude surprised me.

I can see she is insecure, and justifies her behaviors with some lame excuse. The inappropriate behavior is a bother when you don't understand it. I am glad I understand this type of behavior.

Jealous, anger, spiteful and unhappy with herself is what I gathered from the way she behaved towards me.

Nobody can control the feelings of others but this is too much.

She is toxic!

I encountered this behavior and now want you to know more about such behaviors.

There were eight of us and at supper and there should have been fourteen. Others didn't arrive for the planned supper. I knew the reason for them not attending and got stuck in this mess with that spiteful person. Everything was silent no one spoke much to each other. The soft conversations among the six people left me on my own.

I didn't feel weak, I felt strong and positive but wished I hadn't gone there.

After eating, the little conversations continued and for a moment I sensed something wasn't right. She signaled to other woman to look at me, and I turned around and looked at this woman for doing that. I didn't smile just looked at her and she looked away.

They knew I had picked up their vibes.

Culture makes us different and that is how I am different in this foreign place.

The spiteful woman is just jealous and does this with everyone. Once the person leaves their after a visit, she turns around and starts to talk about that person to others who are still sitting at the table.

A behavior that I find immature and selfish.

Petty people have not much else to do but to be this way.

I did not think it was necessary for her to behave that way.

It is an upsetting experience and another lesson learned.

The people we encounter are of all sorts and have no choice but to come face-to-face with such people. I controlled my actions and know that I won't visit there anymore. A person with such traits is not easy to be friends with and I have no intention of having her in my life as a friend or foe.

Just not worth my time and energy.

I chose to be respectful and continue with my strong values. I won't allow anyone taking advantage of me. She hurt my feelings and I was frustrated. I could have said a lot but I walked away from her poor behavior, and did not want to stoop down to her level.

I am the bigger and better person.

I left feeling frustrated but in my heart I know she will never be the person I am.

We are from two different parts of the world and that is what makes us what we truly are, different.

Her mean behavior won't change and I can't help the way she is but, I can be that better person.

I learned from this experience and walked away with pride.

Why did she signal to that other woman about me?

What made her feel that way about me?

Interesting isn't it?

I think positive and prefer to be with positive people. Occasionally, I meet up with petty people and that don't go with me.

Each time I get together with petty people I feel frustrated, and the sense of unhappiness comes over me.

I moaned about about that but got over it faster through my positive thoughts. Some people go out of their way to make other people's lives a misery.

This person is one of those people who somewhat felt the need to spoil my moment.

I feel better when I don't see her or talk to her it is just how it is.

This personal experience allowed me to feel better after writing about it.

I find that such individuals are insecure in many parts of their lives.

For example:

This woman is insecure about her personal life.

She tries to be something she is not, and can't see what she is doing to herself.

Her life is unhappy and doesn't like it when others have better than she has.

A spiteful person who seeks issues to make a comment on and that is how she behaves in the presence of those she dislikes.

Her behavior is rude, spiteful aggressive and toxic.

My behavior hurts her so she tries to get out her petty behavior to contribute to my good behavior.

She talks about people when not in their presence and speaks in a friendly manner when with those people. I understand where she comes from but don't need her in my life.

I will distance myself from that woman and confident to be that way.

I realize she is displeased with herself. In this way she shifts blame and changes her focus to make it look as if the other person is the bad one, or is the problem. In fact, it is the other way around she is the problem.

That shows jealousy, misery, problems, anger, envious, nasty, mean, bitter, just filled with spite and enjoys hurting the feelings of others. To annoy, with the intention of that to be malicious to others.

The bigger person seeks a fix in this type of behavior and she seeks problems to solve her problems.

She is angry not getting what she wants and of what I can easily have and achieve.

Her mean behavior is hurtful and spiteful to a few others as well. I walked away peacefully.

Everything I do bothers her and she shows that in her spiteful behavior toward me.

I finally saw spite in its purest forms from this person.

She started behaving more in this way after not being able to compare herself with me anymore.

Whatever she can't do I can and this affects her badly.

Spiteful people react with such behavior when they fail to get what others have.

She wants to hurt others to feel good from her actions.

Her low self-esteem allows for the petty behaviors.

I don't play her spiteful games. When I looked back at her directly she knew that I figured out what was going on with her actions.

I made her feel powerless. Hopefully she will see that I don't play her spiteful games.

You see, I deserve better and chose to not see this person anymore.

People and their behaviors

Spiteful behaviors

How would you treat a spiteful person?

See results

Why are people spiteful?

Words to enlighten your self-being

There's a natural law of karma that vindictive people, who go out of their way to hurt others, will end up broke and alone.

Sylvester Stallone

© 2016 Devika Primić


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    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 4 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Claire Raymond I have met many types of people and this one is most cunning, spiteful and just is envious of me. She makes the effort to ignore me and show me her trueself. Thank you for comments.

    • Claire-louise profile image

      Claire Raymond 4 months ago from UK

      It is so horrible when people act like this, but at least you know how to deal with them!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 5 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Nell thank you for comments. I too feel the same.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 5 months ago from England

      I hate bullies, and I hate spiteful people. I either walk away or...well I will let you guess that one! LOL!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 9 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      grand old lady so glad to read a comment from you. I appreciate your kind comment and that is how I am. Thank you.

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 9 months ago from Philippines

      I love your last sentence, "I deserve better and chose to not see this person anymore." I notice there is always one in a group. Not always when you are among friends, but in an atmosphere that makes people have to share common space, such as an office or such. Yes, there is always one spiteful person who likes to project what they feel insecure about on another person, and can even get others to gang up on the person. You handled the situation with excellence. It is a good choice you made in the end. Bravo!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 20 months ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      suzettenaples thank you for commenting I appreciate you stopping by here.

    • profile image

      suzettenapkes 20 months ago

      Devika, excellent and wise article! I just don't allow these people in my life anymore. Most are vindictive because they are jealous and insecure. Your article is a thorough take on this subject. Well done!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi FlourishAnway you are so right! Thank you for commenting.

    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

      I just tell myself that their shocking behavior is more about them than it is about me, then I turn towards positive people.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Harishprasad Thank you greatly for stopping by. I tried to be nice and am always nice but some people try to take their behaviors further I don't need this person in my life and made sure not to go back on my word. I appreciate you sharing your comment here.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Peggy W thank you for sharing that. This woman does this to most people we know and in the beginning I felt I would be friendly as I am to everyone in the village. I realized that there is nothing that I can do for to be nice to me. She thinks her life is better than others and wants to be something she is not. No matter how nice I have been to her she often behaves this way and tries to make herself look better when around other people. I don't want to stoop down to her level and make it an issue and have some disagreement because I will be seen as the bad person in this scenario. I appreciate you sharing your experience.

    • Harishprasad profile image

      Harish Mamgain 2 years ago from New Delhi , India

      What a penetrative eye you have in deciphering the psyche of such kind of miserable personalities. There was a time when I used to get hurt if encountered such nasty behavior but, now I would rather take delight at the immature actions and reactions of these poor fellows. I enjoyed reading this so deep and interesting hub about peculiar human behavior.

    • Peggy W profile image

      Peggy Woods 2 years ago from Houston, Texas

      You are smart to distance yourself from this woman. I am currently doing the same thing with a woman I know. I felt sorry for her for a time and tried my best to make her see the other side of things, but it is hopeless. She is so self centered and thinks only of herself. She does not get along with most of her own family members...even her own children. She talks about others...even so called friends...when they are not there. Just not worth it! She is definitely toxic.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Mona thank you for sharing your views here. I walked away to not stoop down to her level she often behaves this way to make others feel stupid but she is the one stuck in a corner with herself.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi swalia such people don't deserve the goodness of anyone they are just MEAN. Thank you for stopping by.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Mel Carriere Thank you for saying that,'' I think you did the right thing in rendering the spiteful person powerless, they depend upon nice people keeping quiet and not saying anything.'' I always keep quiet when she speaks out her heart. I walked away because I know I am better than that. I appreciate you stopping by.

    • grand old lady profile image

      Mona Sabalones Gonzalez 2 years ago from Philippines

      Dear Devika,

      I know what you mean. Spiteful people aren't happy with themselves. And they try to control the conversation. You can't talk about things they don't want to hear, so I think it also means they are fearful. It can be easy to feel compassion when you are a distance away, but oh, when you are trapped in such company, all you can do is protect yourself and leave soon as you can.

      Thank you for being honest and outspoken and bringing up realities we have wrestled with and can understand better because you had the courage to speak out.



    • swalia profile image

      Shaloo Walia 2 years ago from India

      I walked out of my job recently because the negativity of some spiteful people and my boss was draining me. Life is too short and precious to waste on hatred and negativity. Great hub!

    • Mel Carriere profile image

      Mel Carriere 2 years ago from San Diego California

      I am sorry about your horrible experience. Unfortunately, there are people like this on every continent and in every country, but fortunately there are also good people on every continent and and in every country to balance these rotten people out. I think you did the right thing in rendering the spiteful person powerless, they depend upon nice people keeping quiet and not saying anything. Great hub!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      rajan jolly thank you

    • rajan jolly profile image

      Rajan Singh Jolly 2 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

      For one's peace of mind it is important we eliminate such people from our lives and good to see you did just that and in an appropriate way.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi KoffeeKlatch Gals I have learned so much through my experiences. I tried to be nice to this person from day one but there is something about her I feel is not right. Often she invite me to her place for coffee and a chat. I often went to her place but realized that she is not the type of person I can call a friend or a good and true person. She does the same old each time we go there. I don't need to put up with that I got to stay away from her. Also, she says things to make me fee l bad or as if I am the problem when in fact she is the problem This is a very long story will have to share this soon in a full hub. Thank you for commenting and you are right!

    • KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

      Susan Hazelton 2 years ago from Sunny Florida

      DDE I have seen many type of people, the petty, spiteful ones are the people who are best ignored. I found a long time ago that it is not worth it to get down to their level. I try to stay away from this type. They are miserable unhappy people who try to make themselves feel better by making some one else look bad.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      emge thank you

    • emge profile image

      Madan 2 years ago from Abu Dhabi

      Difficult topic, but well presented

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Thank you for stopping by.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello billybuc thank you kindly for sharing your comment.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hello Nell Rose Thank you very much for stopping by. I agree with your comment.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Venkatachari M thank you for understanding my point here it has been a difficult path for me to have to put up with such people. I know I no longer need such people in my life. Definitely not worth my time or energy.I appreciate your comments.

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi my friend Shyron E Shenko You are so right! Thank you take care!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hell oMsDoraThank you so much for stopping by here. I know better than to stoop down to her level. Take care!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      roselinsojan thank you for that question. People who have such poor mentalities are a absolute failures. I chose to stay away from spiteful people.

    • roselinsojan profile image

      roselinsojan 2 years ago from India,Kerala.

      Dear friend,why some people around us are jealousy and make others unhappy& they get any good from it .

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

      As always, I love reading your reflections. I don't deal well with spiteful fact, I tend to eliminate them from my life.

    • Nell Rose profile image

      Nell Rose 2 years ago from England

      Great hub! I totally agree with you! I got rid of those sort of people ages ago!

    • Venkatachari M profile image

      Venkatachari M 2 years ago from Hyderabad, India

      Very true incidents of life. I myself and my wife had around us so many people like that for decades. They created much problems in our lives and we had to leave that place by resigning from my job. Some of them did not want other region's people who are smart to live happily among them. It is jealousy and hatred and mean mentality. You have mentioned the real things here boldly. I appreciate you for this.

      Wish you a happy and peaceful life.

    • Shyron E Shenko profile image

      Shyron E Shenko 2 years ago from Texas

      Devika, it is better to be alone than in bad company. You did the right thing in just walking away.

      I have seen many people like the one you describe, I just walk away.

      Blessings my friend.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 2 years ago from The Caribbean

      "Just not worth my time and energy." I like everything you wrote under that heading. You sure know how to separate what's important from what;s not. Keep it up!

    • DDE profile image

      Devika Primić 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

      Hi Ericdierker thank you for understanding my point here. I appreciate your comment

    • Ericdierker profile image

      Eric Dierker 2 years ago from Spring Valley, CA. U.S.A.

      Very interesting. I just don't have these people in my life anymore. But I know that people talk about me when I am not present. It makes me feel important.


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