ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Don't Room With Your Best Friend

Updated on November 24, 2014
Meeting and making new friends.
Meeting and making new friends. | Source

The "Who Should I Live With?" Question:

In my freshman year in college, I had three roommates in my dorm. I became really close friends with one of them by the end of the year and we felt that rooming together the next year would be fun. I mean we liked each other, we have the same interests, and we already know each other. Who wants to live with someone different? I remember my cousin telling me that from her experience in college was to never room with your best friend. I decided to not listen to her, thinking that we would be different.

You feel more comfortable around your friends than strangers.
You feel more comfortable around your friends than strangers. | Source

We Were Not Different.

It wasn’t until the second month of living together, passing the honeymoon stage of coming back to school and catching up what happened over the summer, that we started having problems. I had made other friends during my freshman year and wanted to hang out with them. She didn’t like them and wouldn’t come along, but claimed I was ditching her. She began to be demanding that I stay at the dorm so we could hang out, but all she did was nap because “she was bored”. I started dating someone at the time and that really set her off.

I would get text messages telling me that she’s lonely and she hates my boyfriend for taking me away. I would go back to the dorm to cool her jets, but she wouldn’t acknowledge me and it began to be so stressful for me to even return back to my dorm for the evening that I’d rather spend the night at my friends’ dorms. My roommate started threatening to throw my stuff out of our room and changing the locks if I didn’t break up with my boyfriend. She started calling me names and I was really surprised that we were friends at all. I tried to get us to have a talk with our Community Advisor, to reconcile any hostility she harbored towards me and let me explain that what she was doing to me was wrong and why I felt that way. It didn’t work, because she wasn’t into listening to me, but to make me look like the bad guy.

I had enough.

It was at this point where I managed to find an opening with another friend, we weren’t close but we hung out sometimes, and moved in with her.

Then that started getting crazy, as well. It wasn’t as bad as my first roommate, but it was just as stressful because she did drugs and wanted me to join her. I almost got in trouble for being in the room for like a few minutes when the RA caught her. I really couldn’t wait to be done with the school year and find an apartment where I can have my own room and live with new people.

Sometimes jealous gets in the way...
Sometimes jealous gets in the way... | Source
Close quarters can cause some agitation.
Close quarters can cause some agitation. | Source
Setting some boundaries can help alleviate future conflicts.
Setting some boundaries can help alleviate future conflicts. | Source

The Moral of The Story.

Do not move in with your best friend while you’re in college. Friends and acquaintances come and go during your four years at school. The first friend you make your first year in college might not be the friend that you will run to take pictures with on your graduation day. I made a lot of friends and ended up with just a few at the end of it all. One of them was my last roommate, surprisingly, because I barely knew her from the start.

It’s okay to be friends with your roommate. You are living with each other for a whole school year and you will end up bonding. But, make sure you and your roommate have separate friends that you can go your separate ways with and return home after a night out. Spending too much time together can be hindering to your friendship, especially if you end up finding a date or another friend.

Having your own space and alone time can be a good thing for you and your roommate. Being crammed into a tiny room is claustrophobic enough, but with one other person, it is worse. Creating space between you and your roommate will help alleviate any stress or agitation you might have towards them.

Set up some written boundaries or agreements between you and your roommate, so that if some of them were to be broken you can bring up the written agreements in your conversation and settle the differences without a problem. If necessary, bring in your RA or Community Advisor and have them mediate.

Lastly, don’t force a friendship with your roommate. Let things happen on it’s own. This is how my last roommate and I formed a friendship that has lasted even with miles distancing us.


Separation can be a good thing. Less stress, good sleep.
Separation can be a good thing. Less stress, good sleep. | Source

Lesson Learned.

I’m glad I learned from mistakes towards the end of my schooling and I hope you’ll learn from mine before it happens to you.

Do you have crazy roommate stories? Do tell.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • profile image

      testac 

      3 years ago

      Emi Michele, thank you for detailed information.

    • Emi Michele profile imageAUTHOR

      Emi Sano 

      3 years ago from Baltimore, MD

      I started out on the Yahoo Contributor Network and since they cancelled the program I had stumbled upon this site and figured to give this a try... at the same time try to make some money on it. It's getting tough on the making money part because you have to write like 25 articles before you can actually start earning money.

    • pstraubie48 profile image

      Patricia Scott 

      3 years ago from sunny Florida

      You have made a very good point. I had a friend who roomed with me one year...we were besties. One year was all it took...she and I just could not room together mainly because she was a slob. I loved her and love her to this day but the mess I did not love.

      Angels are on the way to you this morning ps

    • profile image

      testac 

      3 years ago

      Hi, i want to ask one question to you. Why are you writing articles in hubpages?

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)