ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Gender Speech Communities

Updated on January 14, 2012

Groups of people sharing the same expectation in the use of language form a speech community. Gender speech communities are made of persons from the same gender with the same basic assumptions and customs on language usage. In this essay, I describe how my speech pattern as a male is different from that of my sister and girlfriend.

Sometimes I fail to understand women because I expect them to talk as men do in a way that is not particulate on feelings. In one example, my sister complains that I ignore her as she talks to me. In such cases, I usually challenge her to ask me about something she has just said, and I answer back in the exact words she had used. However, she still feels that am not attentive while she converses with me. She prefers that I nod, used gestures and show facial movements that correspond with her words. I feel such a demand is exaggerated and prefer that she instead learn to trust that I have listen to her. In addition, I encourage her to ask questions to clarify that I got what she said. When am the one doing the talking, she suggests that I use descriptive words more often so that my speech becomes sensible to her. In most cases, she asks that I repeat a whole story after narrating because she cannot get the details of the narration right.

When I am conversing my girlfriend, I have to withhold myself from mentioning some notable aspects of her character in case she turns defensive feeling that is a self-directed criticism. My girlfriend will prefer subjects that the society has stereotyped as womanly while I tend to favor topics that are opposites of what she prefers. I refrain from talking majorly about activities like playing soccer that I find interesting while she does not. She uses communication as a way to cultivate our relation by maintaining our closeness. Therefore, in most cases, she brings out more issues of our relationship than I do. I mention only briefly such issues and switch back to other topics I find more interesting. In one instance, I wanted to get tickets for a soccer match for the two of us, and called her to inform her of my intention. I was surprised that she was not appreciative of my call and instead demanded that I pass by her apartment later for a chat instead of going to watch the soccer match. This example illustrates her emphasis on using communication as a tool of being close to me, while I’d rather we enjoy a soccer match and have memories of the day later. Lastly, she is categorical that I should not interrupt her while she is speaking, but she constantly talks between my sentences.

To sum up, the characteristic of my conversation with women and specifically my girlfriend and sister is that of push and shove. I follow male patterns of speech while the two women speak in the context of female speech patterns. They attach emotions to their words and expect that besides getting what they are saying, I should also get their feelings as they talk. In most cases I listen to them passively because am uninterested in the topics they bring forth, and on the other hand they openly object to my introductions of topics less interesting to them.

working

This website uses cookies

As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://corp.maven.io/privacy-policy

Show Details
Necessary
HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
Features
Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
Marketing
Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
Statistics
Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)