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How to Cope With Failure

Updated on January 25, 2016

What is failure?

Failure is simply define as the state or condition of not meeting a desirable or intended objective. It is commonly viewed as the opposite of success.

You may not like to think of it, but it is a reality that majority of us fail in some point of our lives. It's easy to think negatively when it seems that everything that you do is not good enough. No matter how hard it is to work out a relationship in marriages, friendships, families, careers and even struggling with personal weaknesses and expectations. 

In a case like this, is there any way to avoid painful feelings of failure into our lives? Yes. Just go on reading what I have to say.

How do you cope up with failure?

See results

Have you heard yourself saying...

The day has just began

in this crowded street

feels like I'm the only one

tongue-tied, hands clasp

bitter-sweet memory of me

slowly fading in the sun

thinking all the days gone by

time has left me hanging by

maybe tomorrow, maybe...

where are all the skies go?

I only got to see the shadows

maybe tomorrow, maybe...


Something to Think About...

A wonderful realization will be the day

you realize that you are unique in all the world.

There is nothing that is an accident.

You are a special combination for a purpose

- and don't let them tell you otherwise,

even if they tell you that 'purpose is an illusion.'

(Live an illusion if you have to).

You are that combination so that you can do

what is essential for you to do.

Don't ever believe that you have nothing to

contribute. The world is an incredible unfulfilled

tapestry. And only you can fulfill that tiny space

that is yours.

- Leo Buscaglia

Look at the bow in the cloud, in the very rain itself. That is a sign that the sun, though you cannot see it, is shining still - that up above beyond the cloud is still sunlight and warmth and cloudless blue sky...

— Charles Kingsley

Give yourself a break and learn the art of meditation

Facing Life After a Failure

How to look at things in a different perspective

Now do you realize that the best way to overcome the guilt about past failures is none other than to start with the basic step of acceptance. When you finally learn to accept and let go of the things beyond your control that is the time you are learning to forgive yourself. I know. I know. We can never rush things to sail smoothly like before. But, we all have to move on. Life is made up of series of unexpected events whether we like it or not. However, without asking too much I encourage you to consider the points below.

1) Know your limits. Failure is not an option. Whether you realize it or not, you still have the power to choose the right decision in reducing your chances to make another mistake or failure. For you to attain these you have to set modest goals for yourself at the same time you are aware of your own limitations. But, there is nothing wrong in challenging yourself to discover and cultivate your abilities. There's always a big room for improvements. Who knows? Even if you are not that good at basketball or can't even sing a note just remember this super philosophy "Everyone's an expert on something!"

2) Don't compare yourself. Sometimes, we tend to overlook other people's success into our own. We don't realize that it only torments our so-called egos to the point where we lose the passion and confidence to the things we are capable to do. We are created equal but shares different strengths and abilities. Galatians 6:4 encourage us to: "Let each one prove what his own work is, and then he will have cause for exultation in regard to himself alone, and not in comparison with the other person."

3) Don't let high expectation of other's affect you. These expectations are highly imposed by our immediate family members, friends, teachers, co-workers, colleagues, husband, wife and others. Sometimes, it becomes either our advantage or disadvantage on our growth as a person to uphold our certain capabilities. As an end result, others try too much just to please people. To put it bluntly, people-pleaser are the worst kind of sugar-coated mentality ever exist in our society today. If be yourself is overrated. Let your true color shine through.

4) Be realistic. You must be man enough in facing your biggest mistakes and its consequences. Instead of blaming yourself forever for becoming a total failure. You have to sort things out on what went wrong and do better next time as simple as that. Remember your failures and mistakes doesn't define and make you a lesser person.

5) Avoid taking yourself too seriously. Sometimes, you have to find a sense of humor in simple things up to complex despite all the chaos. Life is boring without something to laugh about at the end of the day. So what if people laugh at you? You have to might as well laugh with them not at your mistakes but the thought of having someone out there to laugh with is the most rewarding thing.

6) Be "Rich in Fine Works". Brighten up a person's day by sharing positive thoughts. Give a little love and all comes back to you. Don't you just sit out there, sometimes you have to be the one to get involve, explore all the possibilities that life has to offer. Just go and have a life!

7) Seize the day. We have to learn how to live life as if it is our last because it is the only way we can appreciate how marvelous the gift of life. As well as counting our everyday blessings literally.

8) Be a blessing to others. No matter how well or bad they treated you be nice and open anyway. Sooner, they will come to realize it in return.

"There are always challenges at every stage in our life, overcoming them is what life is all about"

Read In Order to Live -Gustave Flaubert - ...highly recommended!

Whatever you do, you need courage.

Whatever course you decide upon,

there is always someone to tell you that you are

wrong. There are always difficulties arising

that tempt you to believe your critics are right.

To map out a course of action and

follow it to an end requires some of the same

courage that a soldier needs.

Peace has its victories,

but it takes brave men and women to win them.

— Ralph Waldo Emerson

In HIS Eyes

a poem I wrote thinking about God's perspective on my set of failures

*why can't you love the way you are

the way I loved you as you are

don't put dirt behind your back

nor feel sorry for the things you lack

for I myself knows what's in your heart

so pick up the pieces torn apart

*gather around yourself with faith in your hands

never act according your own wit

for it might cause your own destruction

just follow my instruction, live right through

happy is the man who survive the waves

and softly brush through the shores

*if you could only learn to love yourself

life would be much easier despite the strife

gently wipe the tears from your eyes

for I will grant you everlasting life

in a place where you can never imagine

how beautiful you are in my eyes


I believe in Schopenhauer's saying, that "a man

can do as he will, but not will as he will,"

has been an inspiration to me since my youth up,

and a continual consolation and unfailing

well-spring of patience in the face of the

hardships of life...

— Albert Einstein

Now, Discover Your Strengths - by Marcus Buckingham, Donald O. Clifton

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Dear Readers - Post your comment, shout-out, recommendation, suggestions or anything that comes into your mind.

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    • profile image

      yourgoldenfuture 4 years ago

      failures are just.. set wrong goals and not reaching them...

      TAO teaches to get rid of those illusions...and JUST BE

    • SciTechEditorDave profile image

      David Gardner 4 years ago from San Francisco Bay Area, California

      Nice lens! Failures are a necessity for any success. If one has never failed, that means they've never tried to do anything. I've failed a lot in my life ... but I've gotten where I've gotten because I never quit after failing (I may have *changed direction* a few times to avoid the barriers that would cause another failure, but at least I kept on keeping on). Congrats on a Squidoo masterpiece!

    • profile image

      anonymous 5 years ago

      very nice lens failures are very hard to manage... of course depend of the character implied...

    • siobhanryan profile image

      siobhanryan 5 years ago

      This is a brillant lens -love the poem Blessed

    • srsddn lm profile image

      srsddn lm 5 years ago

      I think one learns the value of success only after a failure. Failures are only stepping stone for a success and every failure makes one wiser. I liked all the 8 points in the lens and the essence of success lies in these points. Thanks for putting all these ides in this lens.

    • checkyourvibe profile image

      Cathy Slaght 5 years ago from St. Petersburg, Fl

      The most successful people i know are also the ones who had the biggest failures- great lens!

    • jethrosas profile image

      Jethro 6 years ago from Philippines

      I just want to correct my previous post since there's no way to edit it here's the right one:

      I'm thankful for reading this lens! I'm actually going through some of the hardships that I need to face and continue. Anyway, nice lens! I hope I can create more lenses just like what you did. 200 lenses! 192 to go! (to me) :D

    • jethrosas profile image

      Jethro 6 years ago from Philippines

      I'm thankful for reading this lens! I'm actually going through some of the hardships that I needed to face and continue. Anyway, nice lens! I hope I can create more lenses just like what you did. 200 lenses! 188 to go! (to me) :D

    • LaineA profile image

      Amy Stephens 6 years ago from Missouri

      Great perspective. A very encouraging lens.

    • fantasticallyfi profile image

      fantasticallyfi 6 years ago

      A positive lens - interesting too!

    • profile image

      Daniel_Mckinnon 6 years ago

      as Charles Manz says, Failure is one of the most dreaded words in the English language. The very idea of failing is enough to stop most people in their tracks. It can cause the majority to simply pack up, turn around and retreat without even trying...Failure is not something to be feared [however, as] it contains a positive challenge for success...

      Always keep in mind that Failure is a learning experience.

    • darciefrench lm profile image

      darciefrench lm 7 years ago

      Wonderfully encouraging lens. Angel blessed and featured on November Health Blessings under improving mental health.

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      Failure is a terrible thing.. However, I have learnt to embrace it now.. WHo fucking cares!! get over it, coz u can only be your own worst enemy.

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      I feel sooo much better after reading this. It has inspired me tobelieve in myself. "I Know I can, be what I wanna be, If i work hard at it... Il be where I wanna be"..

    • poptastic profile image

      Cynthia Arre 7 years ago from Quezon City

      What a wonderful lens, Naiza! I do believe there is a way to turn one's life around even in the light of failure. Thank you for the inspiring thoughts you shared on here. *blessed by an angel*

    • profile image

      anonymous 7 years ago

      Thank you so much I was depressed about something that happened a few days ago. I can say that these quotes and advice made me feel at ease. I appreciate you posting these.

    • profile image

      julieannbrady 8 years ago

      Amen to this: "A wonderful realization will be the day you realize that you are unique in all the world." I believe in always looking for the silver lining -- the cup is half full.

    • religions7 profile image

      religions7 8 years ago

      Great lens - you've been blessed by a squidoo angel :)

    • Spook LM profile image

      Spook LM 8 years ago

      Excellent lens and you have a great outlook on life. All the best.

    • profile image

      anonymous 8 years ago

      thanks mate. this was a really encouraging read. really u can only pass if u learn to accept a falure

    • marlene3 profile image

      marlene3 8 years ago

      Thank you for such an insightful and encouraging lens!

      If you have time please visit my lens: Words of Encouragement. Thanks & Much Success to you....

    • profile image

      PosterChildSmile 8 years ago

      This is a very good lens. I thank you for creating it, sounds like you some good growth in your life. Thanks for visiting my lens and praying for Yadira's safe return.

    • profile image

      ShamanicShift 9 years ago


      How encouraging and inspiring this lens is. I rated it a 5 and now link to it on one of mine. I am only a little bitty Squid so far but lenses like this stir me up to get Squidoo-ing!

      Many Blessings,

      ~ Elizabeth

    • profile image

      anonymous 9 years ago

      What a thoughtful inspring lens. "Brighten up a person's day by sharing positive thoughts. Give a little love and all comes back to you." This is so true.


    • profile image

      qlcoach 9 years ago

      Everybody needs to learn how to get back up when knocked down. Thank you for sharing this lens. But it is hard to deal with negative thoughts and feelings. Feel free to see how I try to help others new ways too:

      Sincerely: Gary Eby, author and therapist.

    • profile image

      LaneReiss 9 years ago

      I loved this lens, and found it because I actually wrote a lens very closely related to this one. In fact, I think they complement each other very well. I hope you'll agree.


    • Wordilydoc profile image

      Wordilydoc 9 years ago

      This is just beautiful and well written, you sure helped me to reinforce certain things in my head. I'd say, you are an inspiration.

      Thank you.

    • profile image

      scss 9 years ago

      This is such a great lens - really well done and tons of great info.

      I just had to give it a 5star rating!

      Hope you can drop by some of my lenses sometime and say hello!

      - Helene Malmsio

    • hearthealth lm profile image

      hearthealth lm 9 years ago

      Well put~ poetry writing IS a way to cope, so 5 stars!

      i also made a lens on positive thinking, hope to see you there!

    • funwithtrains lm profile image

      funwithtrains lm 9 years ago

      Another great lens by you! 5 stars and a favorite from me! Please visit my Turbulence Training lens.

    • RuthCoffee profile image

      RuthCoffee 9 years ago

      Excellent topic, and I agree with your perspective. How we handle failure defines us more than how we handle success.

    • delia-delia profile image

      Delia 9 years ago

      very interesting lens! "Failure" to me is a state of mind, if you think you are a failure you will be so, cause that's what you are telling yourself and this will stay true. I'm a Christian and believe God is in control and through Him all things are possible, however that does not mean everything "you want" will come about, that might not be part of the big plan for you...anyway this is how my life has evolved and I will not allow the work failure dominate me...5*

    • profile image

      anonymous 10 years ago

      nice lens..