- Mental Health»
How to Overcome the Fear of Failure
You fail at everything. You fail miserably at dating, at being cool, at learning things, at not fitting in, and you don't even know why you are trying. You can't ever seem to catch a break. Bad things always happen to you. And no matter how hard you try you just can't seem to scratch the surface or to get anything to go your way. You're laughed at. You're frowned upon. You feel lonely and isolated. Your dreams are just dreams. And you have absolutely no idea what to do. Or so you think.
Drop The Excuses Once And For All
Even Albert Einstein Failed
Failure, to begin with, is an everyday thing. It happens to every person on the planet. It happens to celebrities. It happens to rich people. It happens to politicians. It even happened to Einstein. People...fail. You were born to fail. It's just human nature. But here's the thing! And pay very close attention to what I'm about to say: You fail...because you allow yourself to.
Yes! I know what you're thinking, and you are correct. This is an article about positive thinking. But! It's more than that. It's an article about positive doing. You see, you can think positive things all day long, but unless there is something behind it to give those thoughts some gravity then they're only thoughts; thoughts without a plan or purpose. So let's put a little meat on the bone, shall we?
I am a true believer in the power of thought-forms. I preach it to anyone and anything that will give me five minutes of their time. A thought-form, by short definition, is everything. You...are a thought-form. And all you see around you is, too. Nothing, and I do mean nothing, comes about without firstly being thought about. I'd say think about that for a minute, but we'll get to it later. I'm getting away from the subject. We are here to talk about you.
No matter what it is in life you are trying to achieve it obviously never works out for you. That's why you are reading this. Right? So what are some things you want in life but are having a hard time getting? Stop! Write them down. Don't just think them in your mind. Write them down, make a list of all the (realistic) things you desire to accomplish and vocally read them back. By writing down your hopes and dreams...your goals and ambitions...you are making them, watch carefully...you are making them...real. They have become a physical thing you can see and touch. Your dreams, my friend, are officially within your grasp!
So! Did you write the list? If not then do so right now. This is going to be your first step to no longer being a failure. Only a failure will cower behind doubt and not step up to face a challenge. And that's not just being a failure but also a loser. You are not a loser! You are dressing yourself today for success. Ok. So you have your list and you read it back out loud. Now it's time to grab a mirror!
You Fall...You Get Back Up
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Before you look into the mirror you need to close your eyes. Clear your mind of anything that is a distraction, and visualize the person you want to become. See yourself doing what it is you want to do. Make it crystal clear. Feel the vibes that come with those thoughts. The feeling of self gratification and being a success should be the only feelings you feel. Feels nice, doesn't it? Hold that thought in your mind and slowly open your eyes and take a good look at your current self. What is different about the person you have imagined and the person looking back at you? You could make another list, but the important thing here is courage. You must have the courage to let go of your present state. Be willing to take a risk. Be willing to fall multiple times. You never learned to walk after birth without first crawling and falling over everywhere along the way. Up to now you have been crawling. You're in the stage of falling and possibly getting hurt. Where you need to go from here is to find stability. From there is the journey to succeeding at whatever it is you want to do.
I have heard that self confidence can't be taught. I say that's a sad way of looking at things. Life is your biggest teacher, and you should strive to be its best student. Belief in yourself is important because no one is going to hand you your dream life on a silver platter. You need to believe that you are the best at what you do, and never let anyone deter you. With that said, you have surely tried all sorts of angles and it's just not getting you nowhere fast. That's fine. My advice to you would be try taking a break. Don't think about things for awhile. Just breathe and go do something fun and relaxing. And when you come back forget everything you already know and approach things with an unbiased mindset; try to see things in ways you previously would have never considered as if you are looking at the obstacle for the first time. Most of our problems at not succeeding at anything is because of our old programing. The way we were raised or have so long believed and done things will become the norm. That is a very bad idea. You have created this illusion of safety by putting yourself into a box. I'm telling you to bust down that box hero style and kick that “comfort zone” to the curb!
You Are Not Alone
Another thing you can do is try researching the same thing but in a different way. If you want to be a writer, for example, but your material sucks...find out why it sucks. You may be trying too hard to write like some famous author, and you have it in your head that that is the style of writing people want to see. Incorrect! No matter what you are trying to achieve you have got to find your own way of doing things. Don't worry about what other people are doing or what everybody will say about you. If that is the fear you live with then you must conquer that fear or you will never step up to bat, and by stagnating your skills you will most certainly never succeed. Always be yourself. Always!
Remember those thought-forms I mentioned earlier? We're going to use them now. Using your imagery again I want you to focus on a single thought. The universe (or what ever deity you pray to) does not recognize want. You have to come to terms with yourself why it is you want to be a writer, a better dancer, an executive, a pilot, etc. Do some soul searching and when you have it figured out then say it out loud like this: I will to myself (such and such). Or perhaps this line would better suite your needs: My will is to be a (what ever you desire here). Do this without a shred of doubt...and then forget about it. Yeah. That's right. Forget it. The cosmos will begin to line up people, places, things and events to give you what it is you need. Oh... And doubt? Doubt is the killer of self confidence, and it's that thumb you are currently sitting under. Right now, I want you to stop doubting yourself and start believing in yourself. It's going to be hard, I know. But you must be persistent! Do whatever it takes to force yourself to change your way of thinking.
Failure is the process of learning and the precursor to succeeding. Learn from your mistakes. What is working for everyone else does not mean it's going to work for you. As I stated earlier, you need to find your own way. If you have tried everything in the book and you're out of ideas then it's time to try again. And after that, try again. And again, and again, and continue trying. Take every failure as a step closer to success, and every success that comes along (no matter how big or small) as a building block to improve; to become better. And when those moments of success do come along...celebrate! It will help charge that positivity you need right now. My friend, success is yours for the taking. It may be just around the next bend! And if you quit now then you may just lose a golden opportunity. But remember, no matter what happens or what is said along the way always believe in yourself. And whatever you do...never give up!