regarding the birth order dynamic. They were once only children, the center of their parents' universe. However, as succedent siblings are born, they are dethroned, discarded, and/or placed on the lowest totem pole in comparison to their younger siblings.
In many families, they are asked to be surrogate parents and assume other adult responsibilities although they are children themselves. Oldest children are ADULT from childhood. A normative childhood is a foreign and/or unheard concept in the lives of oldest children.
Parents spend THE LEAST time with their oldest children, figuring that the latter do not need them as much. Many oldest children in families suffer from benign child neglect. They are held to a higher and stricter standard than their younger siblings. They seem to receive no parental quarter and/or levity. They seem to walk the chalk line.
EVERYONE in the family look to them. Oldest children have to be ON 24/7/365. They have NO FREEDOM or AN INDIVIDUAL LIFE. The oldest child is the HARSHEST and oftentimes THE MOST DIFFICULT of all birth orders. Oldest children seem to get the SHORTEST end of the stick! Do you agree with this presentational premise or not? Why?
You know, I gave this post a lot of thought before decided to weigh in. I am the youngest of two. My sister is close to eleven years older than I am. For many years, she got the majority of my mother's attention, and when that wasn't possible, she received undivided attention from my grandparents. After their deaths, my mother married my father, and two years later, I came along. There were many problems that my parents were dealing with when I came along, and my sister very naturally assumed a maternal role toward me. She carried me around with her for almost everything - until I was almost nine. At that time, she had her own children, and sister as mama sort of went by the wayside. But, for my entire life, until my mother's death, it was impossible for my sister NOT to treat me as though I was a child in need of her maternal/big sister instincts.
When our mother passed, we experienced a crazy switch-up. My sister had an epiphany that I had become an adult - and I had the same epiphany - and we both realized that I didn't need her to mother me in any way. Then we became equals, and have remained as such ever since. We are still sisters, but the often automatic mother/child sort of relationship has passed.
We were very different as teenagers. My sister was rebellious, I was not. I can't really say why, except that things were very difficult between my parents then. Once I became a teenager, my parents were divorced, and my mother was raising me alone.
I don't know that Jen's position was the most disadvantaged or not, but I still, at close to 40, look up to her as a wonderful and amazing inspiration. And, in terms of success, her life has been much more successful than mine.
by Grace Marguerite Williams 3 years ago
child as far as birth orders/ family constellations go?
by Grace Marguerite Williams 8 months ago
I believe that the oldest child in a family have the toughest and roughest path to go. He/she was automatically dethroned upon the birth/births of a successive sibling/siblings. He/she is often held to a higher and stricter standard than his/her younger siblings, ...
by Jessie Watson 7 weeks ago
We already know that children can suffer from a full range of learning and mental disabilities if they have not received physical or emotional contact before the age of 5. Since 2017, there is more mounting evidence to support that birth order has some effect on the expression of intelligence in...
by jagandelight 8 months ago
Do you think an only child is better off more than they are with siblings?
by Penny Godfirnon 8 months ago
If your were the oldest child in your family were you given huge responsibilities?Were you given responsibilites beyond your years and were you able to accomplish them or did you suffer from failing your parents!
by Cindy Lawson 5 years ago
How many children do you think is too many to have?There is a woman on the island where I live who survives only on benefits and now has 14 children. She openly admitted she got jealous when her 16 year old daughter got pregnant last year. The Husband left her a couple of years back, and most of...
Copyright © 2018 HubPages Inc. and respective owners. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. HubPages® is a registered Service Mark of HubPages, Inc. HubPages and Hubbers (authors) may earn revenue on this page based on affiliate relationships and advertisements with partners including Amazon, Google, and others.
|HubPages Device ID||This is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.|
|Login||This is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.|
|HubPages Traffic Pixel||This is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.|
|Remarketing Pixels||We may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.|
|Conversion Tracking Pixels||We may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.|