Why do Hubbers take criticism personally?

1. 57

   RighterOneposted 13 years ago

   Why do Hubbers take criticism personally?
   
   Why is it that even if you try very hard to be nice when writing comments, the author still usually takes any criticism as a personal attack and snaps back?

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2. 61

   HattieMattieMaeposted 13 years ago

   Usually because there passionate about what they believe, and they have to be right. They don't like to be wrong. We live in a society that teach us to be competitive, someone must win, and be defeated. You can see this in politics, religion, video games, sports, jobs, everything we do in this world tells us to be a success and if we don't we lose. Instead of teaching people everyone wins, or both you and I might be right, and just share what may work from both sides, our world just rather have that winner at all costs.
   No one wants to fail, because when you do, everyone looks down on you. When you care what other people think of you, most people will internalize it and think they are bad, wrong, or have failed.
   Those that have learned to value their self worth, and not care so much about whether the win or lose, are not so much offended.

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3. 39

   ChristinSposted 13 years ago

   I agree with HattieMattieMae for the most part.  The only thing I would also consider is that if you are going to a lot of hubs and most of your comments are critical - that could be taken wrong.  Or if you've been debating on forums and start commenting on hubs of people you disagree with etc. 
   
   Other people simply don't handle criticism well for self-esteem reasons.  Other times, they really don't want to be caused to question what they believe is true.  There are many reasons people may react negatively. 
   
   I would say if you have a criticism of a hub - perhaps don't leave it in the public comment area, but contact that author directly and say "while I enjoyed your hub I thought you should be aware of the misspellings or whatever error"  - Unless the hubber specifically asked for others to leave their opinions in the comments.
   
   I know I would be more accepting of criticism leveled at me through a private communication rather than on the comments.

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4. 60

   Princess Priscaposted 13 years ago

   
   
   (Criticism can make some people feel like the man in the photo, he needs to do or say something to put a stop to eveyone's pointing fingers.)
   
   RighterOne,
   
   Criticism no matter 'how' it is given can cause some people to snap at you and leave you wondering... Why did he or she take my comments that way?  I agree with HattieMattieMae and Christin S for the most part. 
   
   I speak from experience of exchanging criticisms with you in the past.  Although, you try 'very hard' to be nice when offering your comments, sometimes you can be extremely passionate about your beliefs/knowledge and it can come off a little like a 'debate' of some sort.  (The comments can become 'heated' very quickly.)  You and I have learned from one another how to 'cool' our heated discussions and focus on learning from each other instead.
   
   How about trying to give constructive criticism only to a certain degree.  If the author wants more information from you, 'wait' until they request it.
   
   Ciao...Princess Prisca

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5. 60

   Alexander Peaseposted 13 years ago

   This is an interesting question that is posed:
   
   Imagine, coming across a hub and reading through the comments, confused. When the commenter tries to clarify and/or offer advice for the author, they are accused of debasing their hub. I wonder what kind of person would do that?
   
   I suppose that people can snap back because they just don't understand the context of the comment. They may take it as a personal attack because, they may, wear their heart on their sleeve. When writing publicly, it is best to anticipate some criticism.
   
   Sincerely,
   
   Alexander.

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6. 74

   WiseRabbitposted 13 years ago

   For many people who write, their writing is an extension of themselves. Sometimes I like to think of the pieces I write as my "babies." This makes it a little difficult to be open-minded at times. Once, I wrote a short children's book that I thought was great. A lot of people complimented me on it. Then I showed it to one of my sons, who is known for being blunt. He criticized it with no compassion. I was actually hurt but could see that he was right in what he was saying. So I thanked him and worked on making some changes. The result was a much better book. I learned that response from a story a friend told me about his experience as an actor. He said that the director made it a rule that people should politely and constructively criticize each other and that when someone did criticize you, your response should be, "thank you." He found that this practice was difficult at first but that in the end he was happy for it because it improved his acting greatly. I think we could all benefit from this.

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