ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Who Are You And What Do You Want?

Updated on July 2, 2010

Who Are You?

You are Your Own Universe. You are the spiritual being, the life force, the one in charge of your dreams, your goals, your aspirations, your life.  Unfortunately that universe that is you, the energy, the life force often gets put aside in favor of the needs, wants and demands of others. Enforced realities that you have resisted too often take control of not only your life but of You!  You are then not living your own life, you are not working towards the attainment of your dreams, your goals, your needs and your wants.  Instead you are left at best working for others or worse yet, working against others.

What Do You Want?

In order to have what you really want to be in life, to do what you want to do, and to have what you want to have you must first determine how you want to live your future life. You have to break out of the automated, fixated trance states and those boxes that you operate in so as to step out and take charge of your own life. If you do not create your own life, rest assured someone else will do it for you and you will find yourself with people and things in your life that contribute nothing to your well-being.

In my hub entitled “Are You Paying Attention?” I included two lists; one was to list all your incomplete cycles and the other was to make a list of all that you want to remove from your life. As it is important to do these procedures in sequence you will need to complete the lists from the above mentioned hub before you take this one on.

“The best way to make your dreams come true is to wake up.” - PAUL VALERY

We all play many different games in life and each game requires that we take on a role to play within the game.  In order to do this we create different identities through which we operate.  The self created, positive identities that we create serve to move us forward to those people, places and things we wish to be closer to as well as to our own dreams and our own goals.  It is the automatic games and the identities that were created by others that you resisted when they were forced upon you that are acted out both unknowingly and resentfully.  These automated, uninspected games that were created by others and the enforced roles you were expected to play within these games are what lend themselves to creating outcomes that are not to your liking, associating with people that you would rather distance yourself from and having your own dreams and goals fade into the background or get buried so deep that you can’t even remember what they were anymore.  These are the games and the identities that operate below your awareness and wreck havoc in your life and your relationships.

You can often find yourself hung up or caught up in small, worthless games that do nothing more than tie up your attention, your energy, your life force in trivial, or meaningless, or pointless, or worse yet abusive exchanges.  You resort to emotional black mail over a toilet seat being up or down; who took the garbage out the last time; who was the last one out of the room and left the light on; and so it goes.  It is these small, uninspected games that put our lives into a downward spiral to the point where the consequences are huge and impactful.  Not only do we harm ourselves, we harm those we profess to love, including our own children.  We feel trapped, we feel like we are going insane, nobody wins and some of us are emotionally scarred for life.

It is important to note that it takes just as much time, energy and attention to play these nasty, trivial, negative games as it does to play great big, positive, worthwhile games.  The thing with automated games is that there are a limited number of them and they produce no worthwhile products or outcomes.  On the other hand there is a vast array of positive worthwhile games to play.  It is a matter of who and what you invest yourself in.  It is therefore of vital importance that you get in charge and take control of yourself and your own life.  It is of vital importance that you assist those who you value and hold dear to get in charge and take control of their own lives.  Heck, it could even be, dare I say it…..FUN!

In order to begin to break out of the robotic, uninspected, negative games it is best to start doing so by making several lists under the headings I am about to share with you. The benefits and results of making these lists is that it gives you, in present time, a clear picture of what you want . As stated in, “Are You Paying Attention?” your vision is the software for your mind. You can change and refine your lists until you have a really good picture and they are ready for you to work on. Putting your wants in writing puts those wants into the physical universe; they are no longer floating about in the ether.  Instead, they are well defined and they have taken on a physical existence as you put pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard. You will have taken your first step in acting upon your own wants .

The first list you will make is a list of what you want in your life. The next step is to make a list of all your blessings, big or small. Once that is complete make a list of all the benefits you have followed by a list of all your assets. (Note: by assets I do not mean just your belongings include your assets as a person.) Next, a list of all your skills and abilities, then list all of your accomplishments. (Note: If you stick on this one get really basic with it – you learned to tie your shoes  – that is an accomplishment.) A list of all your successful actions is the last on the lists of lists.

The lists you will be making then are as follows:

What you want in your life.

Your blessings

Your benefits

Your assets

Your skills and abilities

Your accomplishments

Your successful actions

The process of breaking out of negative cycles, games and identities is an ongoing process.  Once you begin the process it is important to keep going with it.  To stop results in confusion and it betrays your trust in yourself.  Most of us know how it feels to be betrayed by another, it feels just as bad if not worse to betray yourself!


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • raisingme profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

      Thank you. I look forward to seeing you again!

    • tonymac04 profile image

      Tony McGregor 

      8 years ago from South Africa

      Truly a great Hub. Thanks so much for it. I will return (though my name's not MacArthur! LOL).

      Love and peace


    • raisingme profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

      Thanks, I'm glad I'm on your list!!!!

    • Rebecca E. profile image

      Rebecca E. 

      8 years ago from Canada

      This is another great hub, I couldn't have written it better myself, of course rated up bookmakred and all that great stuff... I'll need to come back again to keep re-reading it.

    • raisingme profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

      Thank you Debarshi. Stay tuned, I have more tools in my toolbox that I will be sharing on HubPages. I am pleased that you have been able to take something from what I have written to apply to your own life and the living of it.

    • Debarshi Dutta profile image

      Debarshi Dutta 

      8 years ago from Calcutta

      I get to learn a lot of things from your hubs which are so very well written.

    • raisingme profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

      Wow, thanks! Your comment reminded me of something I used to do as a child. I used to play a game where I would eat different coloured Smarties to give me different kinds of energy to sustain me until such time as I was able to meet up with others of my species. I credit much to the many boxes of Smarties that have brought me to the place I am today!

    • lxxy profile image


      8 years ago from Beneath, Between, Beyond

      Excellent observations! You are 100% correct. Nice to see so much positive energy!

      You're a credit to your species. ;) Nice to meet you!

    • ethel smith profile image

      Ethel Smith 

      8 years ago from Kingston-Upon-Hull

      Fabulous. This is so true. From a young age we are taught to do the right thing blah de blah. Most of us, me included, do not really know ourselves. Thanks for the wake up call

    • raisingme profile imageAUTHOR


      8 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

      My universe thanks your universe!

    • kaltopsyd profile image


      8 years ago from Trinidad originally, but now in the USA

      Your Own Universe, huh? That's brilliant. Good job!

    • Nellieanna profile image

      Nellieanna Hay 

      8 years ago from TEXAS

      Such a good hub, raisinme! The self-reminding lists are an excellent approach. I once bought a "Future Diary" - in which one wrote in the printed book - what one wanted and other of the type things on your lists. Another time I wrote letters to God - and then answered them! Very revealing! ;)

      However we accomplish it, it is essential to take charge of one's own life. As you say - if not, someone else will surely do it. The external control can be from a person or community and it can range from little takeovers of one's preferences in little ways - food choices, clothes, movies - things like that which are relatively "slight"; but the negative effects on one's sense of power of self can be very big.

      There are also situations in which one's entire being is taken over by others or another. One is told what to think, how to act, who to associate with, who to avoid, etc. Big stuff which can almmost destroy a person's own being. That can really be devastating.

      And sometimes the first step out of that mentality of allowing or accepting it is to simply realize that these "others" are just human beings like oneself. They are no more expert (and certainly not expert on oneself) and they need to be applying themselves to attending to their own stuff, not trying to supervize ours!

      Of course, no one else but oneself can exercise THAT personal power. One must take charge of it. It's not automatic but requires the conscious effort, as you say here in several ways! If one has been allowing it to go on for a long time, it may require a surge of real courage too.

      What's so good about the lists you recommend is that they CONVINCE oneself that we are WORTH it, deserve to be who we are and that it's a good person to be. We need to believe in ourselves in order to live fully as who we are.

      If one chooses to go along with some of anothers' ideas that's one thing. When it hurts is when it sucks us in, even against our better judgment and against our wishes, which happens if we are not alert and aware, as you say.

      When we feel we have no choice it's always because we didn't have the courage to exercise it. Even in the most confining of situations, one can still be in control of one's own personal choices. In normal situations, it's amazing how quickly "others" accept it if one says no to being pressured or simply says, this is what I prefer for myself. Sometimes, if they were go-gooders trying to "help" - they may even be relieved!

      Doesn't mean one gets to tell others what THEY should do or not do though. Too often the attitude is "if YOU would (or wouldn't) do such-and-such, then I could be happy". That is the opposite of being one's own person.

      And finally - when we are being who we really are, and insisting on it - we must take full responsibility - it's not always a sissy thing! lol

    • profile image


      8 years ago

      This is really powerful stuff, raisingme. I love how simple the exercises are, even I can do them!


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)