Lead Me Not Into Temptation - Witch Two
If you have read the story of Witch One then you will know about my decision to “buy back into some less than optimum realities” was successful when I dealt with the temptation Witch One conjured up for me. If you were to ask me which of the three witches was the worst witch to deal with, I would have to tell you Witch Two. This is only because this next “reality” there was a far greater distance between it and the truth.
This story takes some special telling so asnot to break confidence with some very special people in my life. I had a friend, not someone I was reallyclose to but definitely someone who’s welfare I cared about. I had heard through that grapevine thing thatshe had been in a car accident and I decided to give her a phone call to checkin with her and to see how she was doing. I got my answer as soon as she picked up the phone – not well, not well at all. She was in a good deal ofphysical pain, (I just noticed the use of “good deal” here is not describing a bargain of any description – how odd this language is.) Excuse me, got distracted there for a moment,where was I? Oh yes, I was telling you about the pain my friend was in. As she recounted to me what had happened I recognized that not only was she in pain but she was also terrified. Having worked as a nurse for years she was well aware of the many weird and wonderful hoops her patients had to jump through to get heard and to get the assistance they needed not the least of which is being required to prove they are in need of the assistance. She told me that she now understood the “deer caught in headlights” expressions that she had seen on far too many patients’ faces. As I listened to her I was plunged back into the horrors of our own experiences in a situation all too familiar and I could feel the vortex opening up, swirling about my ankles, sucking, sucking even as Witch Two was swooping down on me far faster and far nastier than Witch One.
People that have had a sudden and severe life altering event are in shock, whatever game they were playing in life has come to an abrupt halt and often their entire paradigm has crashed. From this place of shock it is expected of them that they collect whatever pieces of the old game that they can possibly salvage (not unlike after Hurricane Katrina or the like) and wend their way through a litany of red tape trying to put something in its place (as I said, not unlike after Hurricane Katrina).
As the vortex grew strong and the shrieks of Witch Two ricocheted off the walls and ceiling I went absent from my friend and journeyed back through time to May 18, 1991. My youngest daughter was seven months old exactly on May 18, 1991 and I held her in my arms as I reached for the phone. It was the foreman from our construction crew on the other end. I listened as he told me that my husband was in the hospital, a hospital that was a two hour drive from our home. There had been an accident, a cave in. He was to be operated on within the hour. The call ended. I lowered myself to the floor, still holding the phone and the baby. It was a Saturday and fortunately my older children were away for the weekend but I still needed to find someone to take the baby. Someone that could keep her overnight, at least, as I had no idea what I would find waiting for me at the hospital. I began dialling. If I had know then what I know now………
What followed was a year of indescribable hell followed by two years of describable hell. Our set ups in life were all but wiped out, we had young children, we had a home to maintain and a company to run. I was a “deer caught in headlights” and so was my husband. Pulling myself back to present time I recounted very little of our story to her, only enough to let her know that I understood. I offered up the usual, “If there is anything I can do….”, before we ended the call. The very next day I got a phone call, she was hysterical and Witch Two had not left the building so I was not in very good shape myself as I struggled not to fall under the witch’s horrible, foul smelling spell.
Burn Baby Burn!
Offing A Witch
The only truly effective means of offing a witch is to have a burning desire and I had a veritable inferno going in mydesire to assist my friend. (The desire has got to be far greater than the temptation to buy back in.) As I could not get to her, having a husband that was dependent on me for care after two strokes and other complications, I asked her if she could get over to see me. She agreed to come the following day. What had set my friend “off” is (Interesting word ‘off. It can mean upset or it can mean off purpose and there is not much that is more upsetting in life than being off purpose.) the insurance company wanted her to meet with their medical assessment team to determine the extent of her injuries and to find out how they could “get herback to work” as soon as possible. Enter a third party, huge bureaucratic unfeeling entity with the power to dictate what you can and can’t be, what you can and can’t have and what you can and can’tdo. Off with your goals, off with your life, off with your head and at times right off your rocker. In other’s attempts to console her or be real to her or to convey their understanding of her ‘reality’ they had filled her with wretched stories about things that had happened to them in similar circumstances or to Uncle Joe or to some guy they used to know.
The Karate Kid
She arrived the next day shaking and in obvious pain. “I just want my life back.” “I feel victimized.” “I’m not used to feeling victimized.” “I hate the feeling.” I asked her to describe the feeling and as she did so certain phrases would pop out of her mouth. I had her repeat these phrases in different mood levels starting at the one she was in, I kept her repeating them until demonstrated that she was at cause over the mood level. I then took a piece of paper and drew out the paradigm matrix for her and then asked her what she wanted. She told me that she wanted to be able to hold a position ‘them’ at the meeting the following day. More phrases, “I can’t hold a position.” “I don’t know how.” “I can do it for other people but I can’t do it for myself.”
Once I had that command phrase it was like‘shooting fish in a barrel’. This woman held three black belts in karate – count them…three…and there she stands before me telling me that she can’t hold a position. Gotta love it! Not exactly the truth of the situation now is it? I kinda of asked her some questions about holding a position in karate…and I kinda explained it a little bit using the drawing I had made….and she kinda got it…as in a duh! And then I asked her again, what do you want?
"I want to get better. I want to get back to work. I want some help." Good. Then I explained to her about a "game" and the important thing was not what game "they" were playing but what game she was playing. As soon as she identified her own game...she was on the mark and new exactly what position she wanted to take in her "examination" the following day.
Her game was to get better and get back to work. So it was that she decided she would ask the them how they could help her get want she wanted rather than going in playing the game of prove you are injured. I wrote down on a piece of paper for her and stuck it inside the file she had brought with her, that we never opened, "What Game Am I Playing" and "What Mood Level Am I Playing It In". I told her that if she felt herself being pulled into their game...these were the questions she was to ask of herself. Four hours after she arrived she gave me a huge, warm hug and left - smiling and telling me that she would phone me the following day after her "assessment" to let me know how it had gone.
She did. She was delighted. Throughout the entire assessment she was told repeatedly that they had never met anyone like her before. They told her it was a pleasure to work with someone who wanted to get better. They were extremely helpful and in a high mood level throughout her "assessment". She told me that on the way to her assessment, her thoughts started running and she felt her mood drop so she opened the file on the seat beside her and asked herself the questions I had written down for her. She said it immediately stopped the negative thoughts and brought her mood right backup. She could not thank me enough and yet, what I used to help her was so very basic.
Ashes To Ashes, Dust To Dust
Witch Two shriveled up a black shrunken pool of dust at my feet. She’s not the only one with a broom you know, I took care of her in a couple of passes with one of my own.
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