- Entertainment and Media
7 Reasons You Feel Tired All The Time
We all get tired
At the end of the work day, work week, or work month you begin to sag. Your eyelids droop. You can't find your car keys with both hands. Herein are helpful remedies for chronic and chronological tiredness. Read on to learn precisely how you can perk up with just a few simple tricks. It works because it's on the Internet.
1. Drink more coffee
Coffee, this week, has been scientifically proven to perk you into a new person. Your friends and co-workers will hardly recognize you as you speed through the yardwork. That pesky pile of paperwork perched on your faux granite desk will vanish quicker than it ever has.
This handy coffee machine from Keurig also provides cachet. No one can resist the subtly fantastic increase in status conferred by anything that makes coffee and comes from Europe. Heady trails of vapor emanate across the cubicle farm, a siren song for caffeine addicts. Order a machine for home and work before someone else thinks of it and you are left waiting for the next round of promotions.
2. Ride a bike at work
No need for spandex or sunscreen when you crank up this handy under-desk exercise machine. Remember that a duck appears calm on the surface but underneath he paddles like crazy. That could be you.
Build up those jiggly thighs and get that sluggish blood pumping through that earnest heart. The Man can't stop you from working out as long as you concurrently complete your TPS report in a timely manner. Your compatriots will be green with envy when you rock your newly refurbished glutes. If you cramp up, visit the water cooler and gossip about who is flabby and who is not.
3. Push a Reel Mower
If you hate the Earth, feel free to deploy your gas-powered lawn mower. On the other hand, a reel mower provides much needed exercise guaranteed to perk you up and possibly build your core muscles when you inhale too much pollen and sneeze up a lung.
These devices are you-powered. You shove it across your lawn in mostly straight lines just like a traditional push mower, but it spins a set of rotating blades that slice evenly through your fescue. Your neighbors will adore your holistic decision regarding lawn maintenance because the reel mower makes almost no noise if you don't count your wheezing and grunting.
4. Join a Bowling League
Nothing livens up sentient humans like bowling as a team. Disparate moderately active adults gather in a windowless retail establishment to roll balls at pins that are almost certainly not made of ivory any more.
As a bowling team member you will find yourself standing up and sitting down numerous times across an entire evening of frivolity. The more adventurous members of your cadre will also venture to the snack bar for sustenance retrieval. You can be, like, a hero with only a modicum of effort. You're guaranteed to end up less tired that if you stayed home and watched bowling on TV.
5. Get some vitamins
You need D and C and A and B vitamins. Every day you need these little things. They come in pill form or, as is the current craze, gummy form. The gummy form is mostly sugar so it's like getting a piece of candy with your vitamins. If you can't swallow a pill, gummies are the way to go. You can order them online and the mailman won't make fun of you.
Look for gummy vitamins shaped like famous TV characters. You can also order up generic shapes that taste the same as famous characters' heads and cost less because the vitamin company is not paying royalties to PBS or the NFL.
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7. Invest your money
Nothing will wake you up like arriving at the stark realization than you will soon be a ward of the government. To that end, take a few moments every few moments to attend to your investments.
You can invest in stocks using the buy-and-hold strategy or you can execute a one-time flyer on the cattle futures market to realize a 10,000 per cent return on your money. The latter worked very well for Hillary Clinton, who needed only to read the Wall Street Journal in order to prepare herself to acquire immediate wealth.
Whatever you elect to do with your money, you will feel like a cattle prod has been poked at your hindquarters if you lose money. You will never feel tired ever again.