Bachelor Jason ep 7
So after about a half-hour of recaps, we get Jason standing on random rocks in New Zealand contemplating the ladiez. This is television at its finest. They should have gone somewhere warmer so Jason could have been standing there without a shirt on. That way I'd have something to look at while he regurgitates the lines the producers feed him.
Once again, they're up in the air on a date. Not that riding in a helicopter over New Zealand sounds boring or anything, it's just something I've done every other Tuesday for the last three years. Yawn.
Of course Jason thinks the overnight dates are important. Pervert.
What was up with Jason and Jillian both wearing lumberjack shirts on their date? Have they been taking style cues from Mr. Ryan Seacrest? How many times did Jillian use the word "connected" while describing her relationship with Jason? I really think they are just friends. Nice Titanic reference there, Lame-o! They weren't even on a boat. Sometimes I wonder about that Jason. While we're at it, he needs to tone down his misuse of the word "literally."
Jillian's outfit at dinner perplexed me. Was it a Jem and the Holograms dress with horseback riding boots? He asked what she thought about the date, and she just gave a recap of all the things they did and what they saw. If that's what he was looking for, he could just read my inspiring words every week!
Duh, he thinks the physical part of the relationship is important. He's a dude. On The Bachelorette, he only got one trip to the fantasy suite....this time it's three. That's probably why he signed up for this mess. Oh yeah, baby!
Jason sat there and stared at Jillian silently while she gave her ridiculously long speeches at dinner. Like if she didn't keep going on and on about how great he was, then he would have sent her packing right then. I wonder if the producers tell him "Now while the girls are talking, count to thirty before responding. That way, they'll fill the air with nonsense babble about being in love like never before. Thanks."
Not to be a prude or anything, but the talk of the fantasy suite is always my least favorite part of the season. It just gets creepy. Like, Jillian talking about staying up all night and him handling all her "fire" made my cringe.
Was she wearing Uggs with her bathing suit? How Hollywood. It got a little soft-core in the hot tub. This is a network show! Did someone switch the channel to cable when I wasn't looking?
So for Jason's date with Molly, they switched it up a bit. Instead of going up in a plane or a hot air
balloon, he wanted to jump of a bridge. At least she didn't scream like a little bitch, unlike some other people on that bridge! She just calmly allowed all the blood to rush to her head like a real man. (I have no idea what that means.)
There were two "standing on the edge" analogies to falling in love in one episode. He said it on his date with Jillian on the cliff and then Molly said it on her date about the bridge. I bet the producers heard Molly say it and scripted that for him. Classy.
What was up with Molly giving him a MySpace survey? I'd have to say that Jason and I broke up when he said his dream car is a Mustang. Puke. However, we got back together when he said he would save his old-school Air Jordan sneakers. Sigh. Why was Molly so weirded out when he said his favorite time period in his life was now? Dating a bunch of hot chicks at once and not getting slapped for it is not a bad deal.
Let's get real. Molly does not take 45 minutes to get ready in the morning. She takes 3 hours, minimum. High maintenance! She left her purse at the table when they left. Hope someone told her!
I hated the top part of the dress Molly wore during dinner. I noticed in her speech about New Zealand being her favorite place, she didn't mention Jason. I could think of a million cheesy ways to answer that to boost his ego and therefore boost your chances of staying. Fool. He kind of acted like he didn't believe that she wants to take her walls down for him and seemed surprise that she is falling in love with him. They didn't have time to clean the hot tub, so they had to put them in a bubble bath in their bathing suits. This is the swimsuit portion of The Bachelor Beauty Pageant!
With Melissa, he never has anything to complain about except that he didn't meet her parents. Even going into this date, he said he just expects more the same good stuff. How random is it that they're on Winston Churchill's old boat? Why did he bring it up a million times? Is that really that impressive? It's not like you're wearing his underwear or anything. It's a piece of property. Did ABC owe a sponsor for that or something?
It's just "He and I." Thank you, Melissa, for being the only one to use proper grammar. Less than five minutes later, Jason says "her and I." BLAHHH! I can't win. This glimmering moment was followed by the third hot tub of the episode. What is this, Blind Date? Jason was accidentally putting his glass of champagne into the water. There's nothing grosser than warm champagne. Pay attention, clown.
Would it be weirder if Melissa saw her parents 2-3 times a week and they didn't show up, or if she never spoke to them and they did show up? Hmmmm.
Melissa stumbled over the I-love-you portion of the conversation by saying "definitely" and "you know" a million times. We definitely know. It was pretty obvious that he loves her-or is at least as close as he can be at this point.
The final plea tapes were like the interview portion of The Bachelor Beauty Pageant. I guess that makes the rose ceremony the evening wear? Jillian was the only one to not drop the L-bomb in the video.
Ladies and Gents, it's gonna be an All-American finale! I told you that Molly is a sleeper cell and that Melissa has always been a frontrunner. It's tough being a genius, believe me.
The breakup talk is always so awkward. The rejected girl (or guy depending on the season) tries to plead her case, which makes it worse because it's too late to change anything. It was a weird time for Jillian to tell him about the dream about his kid. Why didn't she tell him that sooner?
I have a twist for next week. During his chat with DeAnna he says he sent the wrong girl home when he kept Molly. So, ABC (loving a great twist) brings Jillian back, only to be rejected again when he chooses Melissa. A girl can dream, right?
How was he falling for her, but not in love with her? He was falling "in best friend"? When Jason said he can't wait to introduce them to his kid and family, he looked at Melissa the entire time.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Trista and Ryan need to get jobs!!!
My Pick for Winner:
Please submit your vote in the Comments and let's see who's right next week!