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Best Show Of All Timers -- 7 -- LIFE WITH DEREK

Updated on December 17, 2009

I want to sell a few scripts to Disney, for I've evolved into a commercial bum.

So you'll never catch me dissing Disney in my blogs.

It's not Disney's fault for being the NCAA of fine Hollywood chicks. Yeah, read that again. They supplant the world with all the future tabloid fodder like Angelina Jolie, Britany Spears, Britany Murphy, Christina Agulera, Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, and now currently Ashley Tisdale and Miley Cyrus, and pretty soon...Debbie Ryan, Amelisse Van Der Pol, and yes...the fine fine FINE Ashley Leggat of Life with Derek.

Ashley Leggat plays Casey who is unbelievably hot. Since she's 22 in the pilot episode (or something), we don't think for a minute that it's creepy that we're carefully watching for the camera to get an ACCIDENTAL close-up of that booty.

Ashley Leggat's booty is a perfectly symmetrical oval. It does not belie side-flaps, nor does it extend downward into a volcanic spewing of cankles and fromage. It is in fact the most erotic and amazing rump in the grocer's aisle. As I watch Life with Derek at the kids' house I supervise, I'm leaving teeth-marks on that thing with my eyes. Ashley Leggat's Casey is continuously pacing back and forth trying to think outloud. And when she does, that booty emerges and takes up the entire leftside of the screen while Casey's in the center of it. It does not belong on the rest of her body. You think for a second you're looking at some kind of Sphinx-like figure.

Life With Derek has a textbook psychopath -- Derek -- who breaks Casey's leg because she won't hand over the remote, and doesn't even give a god damn. Derek is an undiagnosed everything. And coincidentally, it's CASEY who treats the guidance counsellor like a shrink. The poor guidance counsellor is there hoping kids come in for anything in the world, even about something like college applications and stuff which they would ACTUALLY NEED, but nope. Nobody comes in, and Casey sits there manically talking things out to herself directly in front of him -- and then walks out happy, long developing a plan before the poor guy even gets a straight explanation of what she's there for today in the first place.

The mom is ugly, the dad is a hippy, and the great thing is...the psychopath becomes a hippy too. Derek is hardly Alex P. Keaton of Family Ties and Back to the Future fame. He becomes more and more of a crappy percussionist as the series goes on.

Casey's two sisters are ugly too. And they get uglier as the series progresses. Little Marty looks like crap.

Casey's boyfriend has a forehead like an airport runway.

Her littlest brother Edwin reeks of "I can't dance" even when he's not dancing.

So in summation, I love the show Life with Derek because I'll bet I could beat up or out-sane anyone in that family who would give me problems on the way to trying to meet and fool around with Casey.



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