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It's Going to Be a Beautiful Breakfast

Updated on June 13, 2014
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Oh Hello There, Miss

Hello and welcome to a breakfast. The song in the video is a very special song about breakfast. The lyrics in the song are in bold. Feel free to look around and find out what the song means. My hope is that you learn to love breakfast as much as I do.

Our breakfast song begins with the lyric "Oh hello there, miss." You probably didn't know that "hello" is a relatively new word that first started being used in the 1800s. The rise of the use of hello as a greeting coincided with the dawn of the Telephone Age. Before it became a telephone greeting, hello was used to get someone's attention-- kind of like saying "Now, you listen to me."

These kinds of facts are crucial to understand, if one seeks to comprehend the true meaning of breakfast.

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I Happened to Notice You

Some people notice things more than others. Some people hardly notice anything at all-- even very important things. For example, many people go about their lives not picking up on the details embedded in reality that indicate that we are all living in a simulated world.

The people who control and operate the simulated world that we live in allowed the movie The Matrix to come into being in order to lead us astray. Thanks to The Matrix, most people believe that thinking about the world as being a computer program is a stupid idea. We think of simulation theory as a dumb idea because we associate it with Keanu Reeves's dumb face.

By the way, if you like to look at Keanu Reeves's dumb face, you're definitely going to love this article about the 10 Most Inspiring Amateur Portraits of Keanu Reeves.

The people who raise and lower the levers of the world from behind the scenes (the Illuminati) are in tune with the simulated world, and they also probably control it.

The reason why I am bringing up the Illuminati at this point is because the Illuminati are a group of people who place a high value on subtle details. That is why they embedded images of the coming apocalypse into the murals of the Denver Airport, like the one pictured below. The sinister artist behind the murals is obviously in league with evil forces.

The Illuminati is trying to tell you that the end is near. They are planning to start a global war that will result in everyone being enslaved by people wearing gas masks. If you pick up on the subtle hints and signs, you will know to prepare for the end of the world. If you prepare enough (and build a very solid bunker) you will survive it.

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Getting Out of the Bus

When getting out of the bus, it is important to not fall out of the bus and onto the ground. Falling off the bus and landing face-first in a pile of mud will cause people to act as if they feel sorry for you (if they are nice) but later they will laugh and tell their friends about your clumsy mistake.

If you trip when exiting the bus and fall into a pile a mud, at first you will feel ashamed, and you might even cry into the mud. The good news about all of this is that later on (maybe a week later, or something like that) you might think it's funny that you fell into the mud. You'll be able to laugh and say: yeah, that happened but I'm a different person now. The person who fell into the mud last week was the old me. Now I'm a fresh, clean me who is not crying into a pile of mud.

Either way, if you are careful and watch your step when exiting and entering the bus you can avoid this type of embarrassing situation altogether.

One good thing about getting onto the bus is that interesting people often ride the bus. If you ride the bus, you can hang out with the interesting people on the bus for five or ten minutes-- or even for an hour or more, if you are having fun and want to ride the bus for a long time. Watch the video below if you want to see a funny video of an interesting lady on the bus who likes to talk to herself.

I Want to Show You Something

Children like to show things to people and endlessly talk about things, often in ways that do not make any sense. This is why "Show and Tell" was invented.

The reason I bring up the topic of "Show and Tell" is to point out the fact that when children are even smaller and dumber they are called "babies." Babies are a huge problem, due to the fact that they keep turning into people. If babies would stop doing that, then then the global overpopulation problem would go away.

Therefore, instead of turning into people, I believe that babies should start turning into ceramic eggs. That way, they would be easier to maintain and store. (If babies turned into real eggs, they would eventually start to smell-- plus someone might accidentally eat them and that would be cannibalism.)

The other thing about babies is that they often do not know how to make breakfast. They are also usually pretty bad at eating breakfast, as well. The video below features a clumsy, arrogant baby who has the nerve to laugh at the fact that he has failed at eating breakfast.

Do You Mind If I Take Off My Coat?

There are many reasons why someone might want to take off a coat. The number of times someone would want to take off a coat to reveal a naked body underneath are far and few between. So, most of the time when you see someone wearing a large coat you can rest assured that they are probably wearing clothes. The chances of ever being on the receiving end of a flashing are slim, unless you live in Singapore. In Singapore, it is common for flashings to happen once every other day.

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I'm Not Wearing Anything Underneath

A naked person tends to make someone who is wearing clothes uncomfortable. In a naked/clothed person conflict, what is going on is that the person who is wearing the clothes becomes jealous of the person who is not wearing clothes. This is especially the case if the person wearing the clothes is wearing itchy clothes-- like a wool sweater, for example.

It's also important to consider the fact that if you are a male, singing in a high-pitched falsetto voice is kind of like taking off your clothes.

If you are a male and you sing in a high-pitched falsetto voice to a group of women, some of them will like it... but also some of them will feel uncomfortable. It kind of depends on the circumstances. The same principles apply if you start taking off your clothes.

I Want to Feed You Biscuits

Little known fact: biscuits can be made out of a substance called "Bisquick."

The brand name Bisquick is composed of two root words: biscuit + quick. The information that the brand name is trying to convey to you via the use of clever wordplay is the fact that substituting Bisquick for natural biscuit dough will help you create biscuits in a very short amount of time. Let me explain.

Normally, a tray of biscuit dough needs to be stored deep inside the earth's crust for several years before edible biscuits begin to form. This is how it works: the pressure of the earth's crust presses down hard on top of the biscuit dough until the biscuit dough molecules become agitated. When the agitated dough molecules reach a certain threshold, they collapse and become fresh biscuit molecules. When the biscuit formation process is complete, volcanic activity carries the biscuits to the surface. When the fresh biscuits emerge, they are plucked from the ground by crows and carried to stores where they are then sold to the public.

Bisquick was invented to expedite the lengthy biscuit formation process, which often takes millions of years.

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I Said I Want to Feed You a Biscuit

Relentlessly repeating a sentence over and over again will help you achieve your life goals. If you are trying to achieve something and you are determined to get it, express your desire repeatedly for best results.

For example, you can say:

"I am trying to get it. I am trying to get it. I am trying to get it."

And so on, until you get whatever it is you want.

Fact: the universe is waiting to cater to your every whim. Contrary to popular belief, there's absolutely no need to trouble yourself with money, paying bills or getting an education.

I Want to Take You Out

Romantic encounters (also known as "dates" or "date nights") often involve "going out," especially going out to eat at a restaurant. After food is eaten, sex occurs.

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There's a Pay Phone Outside of My House

The exchange and use of crack can be quite a time consuming hobby that necessitates the use of communication tools. Crack houses often have attached porches where neighborhood youths gather to exchange money or TV sets for crack, or to simply discuss things that are happening in the local area. Phones are used to coordinate these meetings. Having a pay phone positioned directly in front of the porch of your crack house enables you to make and receive calls without having to worry about the hassle of paying a phone bill.

You Can Make All the Calls You Want For 35 Cents

Generosity is an important virtue. A person of many virtues will be highly valued within his or her society. A person who lacks virtue will be shunned. In particular, whores are said to be "lacking in virtue."

But You'll Never See the Universe

The universe is hard to see, due to the fact that it is very big. Also, it is almost impossible to get outside of the universe. The only way to do it is by having an out-of-body experience (OBE).

There's So Much I Can Show You

It's easy to show something to someone, especially if it's a piece of lint. Lint can often be found buried within the folds of a belly button. To show a piece of lint to someone, first gently remove the lint from your belly button using your forefinger and thumb. Then, position the lint directly in front of somebody's face. (For best results, hold the scrap of lint about four inches away from the face.)

There's So Much I Can Feed You

It's possible to eat almost anything for breakfast. Anything you eat in the morning automatically turns into breakfast food. Feel free to try eating different types of food in the morning in order to find out which ones work out best for you. Have fun with it and go nuts.

I'm Going to Get You a Carton of Milk

Milk is a white substance that comes out of cows. People often drink milk while eating things like cookies. Notably, rumor has it that "cookies are not for breakfast."

Fact: the idea that cookies are not for breakfast consumption is simply just a false rumor that has been spreading across the Internet via bulletin board systems (BBS).

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I Want You to Pour It All Over Your Body

Studies have shown that pouring milk over your body is not an effective attraction strategy for males, yet females can use this same technique to acquire high levels of sexual attention.

I'm Going to Be Your Cereal

Conduct a thought experiment where you become your favorite breakfast meal. For example, if you like donuts, imagine that you are a donut. Next, imagine somebody eating you. (A fat person.) Imagine teeth biting into your doughy skin and ripping it apart. Now you're being digested and passed through the intestines. Now you're being converted into calories. Now you're being stored as fat.

It hurts to be eaten, doesn't it? Actually being consumed is very painful. Now you appreciate what your breakfast meal is going through when you eat it. Did you know that the small intestine is 25 feet long? That's a pretty long distance if you're a breakfast food.

No, But Seriously

It is okay to joke around about certain things sometimes, but make sure to always take the breakfast meal seriously. Try to never skip breakfast. Skipping breakfast can lead to serious health conditions such as malaria, cancer, and hepatitis.

Cheerios (Artist's Rendition)

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Golden Grahams (Still Life)

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Frosted Flakes (Fan Art)

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2% Milk

Fact: 2% milk is often enjoyed by people who are scared of drinking whole milk.

We're Going to Make a Beautiful Breakfast Together

Breakfast is good for your nutritional, spiritual and mental health. When it comes to breakfast, I go all out-- and so should you. Skipping breakfast should be a crime. Please contact your local politicians to let them know that you care about the importance of the breakfast meal. It can change something.

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    • LKMore01 profile image

      LKMore01 4 years ago

      This is one of the most unique and original Hubs I''ve read. Love this, "Children like to show things to people and endlessly talk about things, often in ways that do not make any sense. This is why "Show and Tell" was invented."

    • phdast7 profile image

      Theresa Ast 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

      OK. Well, this is different! And incredibly clever and funny! I laughed out loud several times and couldn't stop smiling. Your hub reminds me of, sort of, the hubs written by a Hubber, ThoughtSandwiches. He writes long involved hysterical, nonsensical, wonderful hubs. But he also makes thoughtful and clever comments on all kinds of topics.

      I haven't seen anything new by him in several months....I should get in touch and see if anything is wrong. But you might want to take a look at his stuff and see if it appeals to you. I may not, which is OK too. Back to grading history papers. :( Have a great week. :)

    • profile image

      Babul Akter 4 years ago

      Your site picture is very excellent .

    • Cantuhearmescream profile image

      Cat 4 years ago from New York

      Mercury Services,

      I have to admit... I'm a little scared, but at least I'm laughing, so I guess I'm laughing scared? This was about the oddest thing I've read... ever, what the hell are you eating for breakfast? I can't help but picture you violently rocking in a corner, aggressively spouting off these rambling rants... :D I think I will be back for more though. I've had this page open all morning... try to bite off chunks I can swallow you know? Funny, really.

      "After food is eaten, sex occurs." I hate to say there's a "best part", but boy, I thought that was hilarious... also love your take on 2% milk!

      I'll be back!

      Cat

    • mercuryservices profile image
      Author

      Alex Munkachy 4 years ago from Honolulu, Hawaii

      I appreciate all the comments and am glad to share my humor and love of BREAKFAST! The best way to start off a beautiful day...

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