Kevin Trudeau: Tune in to the Kevin Trudeau Channel
Kevin Trudeau TV: Coming soon to your cable TV provider
Bored Americans tune in to channels featuring eating, driving in circles, talking about sports, playing sports, analyzing sports, and folks who are famous for being famous. Channels broadcast nothing but game shows, reality shows, sitcoms, westerns, news, and faux news. Somehow the king of TV pitchmen, Kevin Trudeau, has been omitted from this plethora of programming. As the preeminent one-man content provider, Kevin Mark Trudeau provides never ending infotainment as he pontificates 'round tables replete with spokes models sharing space with indignant yet sophisticated talking heads sporting just a hint of gray near their temples.
Welcome to the Kevin Trudeau Channel. KTTV offers the finest in cutting edge wordplay designed to market cutting edge informational products. No knowledgeable stone is left left unturned in Kevin's effort to provide viewers with everything they need to strike back at The Man while improving their life and increasing Kevin's bank account.
Check the Channel Channel for KTTV. If your cable provider doesn't yet carry Kevin Trudeau Television, phone them up and politely offer to report them to the FTC, FBI, and FCC. This strategy works every time.
Kevin Trudeau Programming
Everybody Loves Kevin
A well-meaning sportswriter campaigns to expose corruption in government while sparring good naturedly with his parents, who life across the street. Hilarity ensues each time Kevin reveals a little more about The Man and how He is out to get us.
A well-meaning crime scene investigator leads a team of quirky well-meaning crime scene investigators as they solve crimes behind the scenes at infomercial tapings. Hilarity is murdered in the opening montage. Theme music not provided by The Who.
A well-meaning cadre of intergalactic misfits works together to protect an intergalactic call center and service intergalactic orders for Kevin Trudeau's books. Hilarity is shoved into the airlock and released into the cold vacuum of space.
Trudeau's Kitchen Nightmares
A crusty but well-meaning chef interferes behind the scenes at working restaurants, forcing the chefs to use recipes from his Natural Cures and Remedies books. Hilarity dies of ptomaine.
A well-meaning washed-up pop star raises his daughter as a pop star while protecting her secret identity as an infomercial spokesmodel. Hilarity ensues as the FCC closes in each week, only to be thwarted by bouts of physical comedy and carefully nuanced double-talk.
Trudeau's Got Talent
Kevin Trudeau demonstrates his prodigious talents for a panel of Hollywood D-List celebrities. Watch in amazement as he sells them books while he pedals a unicycle and juggles chainsaws. Hilarity is locked out of the studio.
Extreme Makeover: Trudeau Edition
KT teams up with well-meaning designers to rebuild the homes of families whose lives have been ruined by Big Pharmacy, Big Government, and Big Oprah. Medicine cabinets are stocked with natural cures, mortgages are paid off with free government money. Hilarity waits outside until the bus is moved.