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Mudsock Theater Of The Mind, Pt. 5

Updated on January 14, 2013

The Helpers, Ep. 5

(NOTE: This is the fifth episode of the Omar and Butch series, not entitled The Helpers. I'm still working with that. It looks different because this is the first script I wrote where I tried to format the script the way radio scripts are supposed to be for professional production. The odd numbers that appear for no apparent reason are actually page numbers, and the cues start from 1 at the top of each new page. Also, I've added two new characters: Daruska (who first appeared in Episode 4) and Logan. In this episode, The Helpers travel to Village de Fleuves, where they meet a man named Monsieur Chien. Hope you enjoy it.)

The Helpers

Episode 5: River of Death

An Original Audio Drama by

Chris Neal

Mudsock Theater of the Mind

The Helpers

“Episode 5: River of Death”


Omar: Man of action, speaks with British accent.

Butch: Thinker, tinkerer. Somber.

Daruska: Young woman, early 20’s. Excitable. Czech accent.

Monsier Chien: Villain, werewolf (loup garou). Speaks with French accent.

Logan: Server-woman at castle, likes Butch. Speaks with slight Scottish accent.


Scene 1 – Forest outside Village de Fleuves-Day


2. OMAR: Hello, everybody. My name is Omar. My

friends Butch and Daruska and myself are

travellers. Adventurers, if you will. We

travel from place to place, searching for

people to help and adventures to join in.

Sometimes we have to look. Sometimes

adventure finds us.


4. OMAR: Barker’s last note had been more cryptic

than usual. All it had really said was

that we needed to go to Village de

Fleuves, a bustling port town that sat at

the conjunction of three rivers.

5. BUTCH: Full moon out tonight.


1. OMAR: Oh come on, mate! You of all people can’t

believe that sort of thing!

2. DARUSKA: Ty vol, he’s right! I wouldn’t have

thought that you would believe in such


3. BUTCH: On the contrary, I’ve seen men turned into

rocks, fish, vegetables and a lot of other

things. I’m not taking any chances.

4. OMAR: Is that why you have the Examiner out?

5. BUTCH: No. The pH readings for the river we’re

walking next to has a higher acidity

level than it should. I don’t understand


6. DARUSKA: Is it all right to drink the water?

7.BUTCH: Yes, but not too much. Also, there’s

something moving toward us at high speed.


1. OMAR: What? And how fast?

2. BUTCH: I don’t know, but we’re about to find


3. OMAR: (BEAT) Where is it?

4. BUTCH: Just over the hill, there!

5. DARUSKA: (CHALLENGING) Who are you? Show yourself!


7. DARUSKA: (HOT ON MIKE WHISPER) What was that!

8. OMAR: What does the Examiner say, mate?

9. BUTCH: That whatever it is, that thing’s moving

away from us. Very quickly.

10. DARUSKA: Ty vol!

11. OMAR: How far to Village de Fleuves?


1. BUTCH: About three clicks. We should be there

within the hour.

Scene 2 – Inn in Village de Fleuves-Night

2. OMAR: And we were, within less than an hour the

three of us were in Village de Fleuves, and

found an inn to spend the night at. We

also found a tavern to grab a bit of nosh.

Before we could even ask the server what

food was available, she set a plate in

front of Butch. (PAUSE) Get off, mate! Is

that what it looks like?

3. BUTCH: Yes, it is.

4. DARUSKA: Ty vol! Is that spaghetti? Nemám pochopit,

I don’t understand. Why?

5. OMAR: Lot of questions.

6. BUTCH: As usual.


1. DARUSKA: Don’t talk about me like I’m not here!

2. OMAR: There she is! When’s the last time you saw

a plate of that, eh?

3. BUTCH: Twelve years. And it’s a little in-joke

between Omar and myself.


5. BUTCH: Miss! Miss!

6. LOGAN: (OFF MIKE) Just a moment!

7. OMAR: What is your problem, Butch? Are you going

to mess this one up?

8. DARUSKA: What do you mean, mess this up? What’s

going on?

9. LOGAN: Yes sir? Is anything wrong?

10: BUTCH: I didn’t order anything yet.


1. LOGAN: Yes sir, is there anything wrong with your

meal? Have you tried it yet?


is really very good spaghetti! (PAUSE) Um…

3. LOGAN: Aye, sir?

4. BUTCH: You prepared this yourself, didn’t you?

5. LOGAN: Aye, sir! And sure none of the boggin

toerags here would hae figured that out!

6. BUTCH: Um, do you always give such, personal,


7. LOGAN: (LAUGHS) I’ll be back for your friend’s


8. DARUSKA: What just happened? Ty vol, why does he get

food and we don’t?


1. OMAR: A better inquiry might be whether we should

find Butchie a preacher or not.

2. LOGAN: Now then, laddie and lassie, what will ye


Scene 3 – Inn in Village de Fleuves-Night

3. OMAR: So we finished our meals and went to our

separate rooms. As always, Daruska got her

own room while Butch and I shared a room

with separate beds.


5. BUTCH: What’s going on with Daruska?

6. OMAR: Are you really that thick?

7. BUTCH: I know you said she took a shine to me, but

come on! It’s been four years!


1. OMAR: Almost five, and yeah, I think she got the

point a long time ago. But some things die

harder than others. A better question might

be what’s going on with you and…

2. BUTCH: Logan. Her name’s Logan.

3. OMAR: Yeah, right. You two spent a good stretch

chatting. Didn’t she have a house to get

back to?

4. BUTCH: Ah, no. She’s a widow.

5. OMAR: I’m guessing she already knew you’re a


6. BUTCH: Yeah, somehow she did.

7. OMAR: Yeah, mate. Well, anyway while you and um,

Logan, were chatting, Daruska and I poked

around a bit.

8. BUTCH: And what did you find?


1. OMAR: That strangely enough, we have an invitation

to see the head man of this village tomorrow

morning, around eight o’clock.

2. BUTCH: You’re kidding!

3. OMAR: No, I’m not. So let’s get some sleep, ‘cause

tomorrow it’s chocks off!

4. BUTCH: Just one thing, though…

5. OMAR: Yes, Mr. Elliptical Ending?

6. BUTCH: How did you receive this invitation?

7. OMAR: From a hunchbacked dwarf in a wheelchair.

8. BUTCH: Now you’re joshing!

9. OMAR: Yeah, mate, I am. Now get some sleep!

Scene 4 – Chateau du Chien - Day



2. OMAR: The next morning Butch had a heaping plate

of eggs and Daruska had a seething bowl of

teenaged jealousy. After that, we asked

Logan how to get to the head man’s house.

Even I had to admit to being surprised at

her answer.

3. LOGAN: Ya dinna hae to worry. I’ll be walking you

there myself.

4. OMAR: Poor Butchie nearly spit out his eggs, and

Daruska got the oddest look of

satisfaction and anger on her face.

5. DARUSKA: Ty vol! I should have known you were

involved in this somehow!

6. LOGAN: Settle down lassie! Everyone in Village de

Fleuves works for him.

7. BUTCH: Him who?


1. LOGAN: Don’t worry your pretty head, Butch.

You’ll know as soon as you need to. Now

finish up your food, there’s a bit of a

slog to get there.

2. OMAR: Of course, neither Daruska nor I got any

food, but Butch gave us the rest of his

eggs. Then we started out.


4. DARUSKA: Ty vol!

5. BUTCH: (CALMLY) I gotta say, it’s well hidden.

6. LOGAN: Aye. You’re so much like him.

7. BUTCH: Yeah, well, you’re a lot like her.

8. OMAR: Save it for the wedding night, you two.

9. DARUSKA: I’m going to be sick.


1. OMAR: Certainly posh, though.

2. LOGAN: Aye, it is that. You know, the three of

you are famous.

3. BUTCH: What do you mean?

4. LOGAN: Aye, we’ve heard tell of stories about

two or three people who travel round from

place to place, helping out people who

need it. One of the most famous is the

metal men.

5. DARUSKA: Metal men? Muži z kovu? Co to znamená?

6. BUTCH: It was from before we met you.

7. OMAR: How do you two understand each other?

8. LOGAN: Aye, so much like him.

9. BUTCH: But some things still confuse me.


1. LOGAN: Ah, the joy of the question.

2. DARUSKA: I’m a little tired of this.

3. OMAR: I’m with you.

4. BUTCH: Have people been dying here? Or


5. LOGAN: Aye, there’s many have gone missin’.

6. BUTCH: And what about the wolf?

7. LOGAN: Ah, Butchie! You do get to the quick of

it, don’t ye? Hauld yer wheesht and

listen. About five year ago, as most here

reckon, the head man arrived and took

over the chateau. It was already built,

but the previous owner met a violent end.

The why is still a mystery, but the new

man came in and wheesht! The auld man was

nae skint but the new man is minted!



1. LOGAN: (CONT FROM PREVIOUS) Well, about four

years gone, people began disappearing.

Not many at first, mind ye, about one

every five months. And we heard the most

unearthly howling in the forest. Lately,

it’s been getting worse, and there’s

nothing to be done aboot it. But now

you’re here, which is pure brilliant

luck, innit?

2. BUTCH: I don’t know that I would call it luck,

Logan. We’re here because we’re needed.

3. LOGAN: No, man, I dinnae expect you would call

it that. Well, here’s the door to his

room. I cannae come in wi’ ye. (SHORT

PAUSE) Ah Butchie, yer sleekit! He’ll be

expectin ye! I’ll see ye by and by!

4. OMAR: I wonder where she’s going?

5. DARUSKA: As long as she goes, I don’t care.


1. OMAR: We opened the door and walked in. It was

a large, posh room. A large desk faced

us, and a large chair was turned away

from us, toward the window on the other

side of the room. We walked in and closed

the door, then stood waiting. But not for

very long.

2. MSR. CHIEN: Monsieurs et Madamoiselle, I presume?

3. BUTCH: Yes sir, it is us.

4. MSR. CHIEN: Le baisser du matin, the kiss of the

morning. I love it everytime it comes and

every time it goes away. Let me turn to

look at you! Mognsieur, your reputacion

preceeds you, you are extrêmement poli,

you have very good manners!

5. BUTCH: Merci, Monsieur, ahh….

6. MSR. CHIEN: Chien. Je m’apelle Monsieur Chien.


1. DARUSKA: Really?

2. OMAR: A great pleasure to make your

acquaintance, Msr. Chien.

3. MSR. CHIEN: And yours as well. You know, the three of

you have a certain amount of fame, but I

don’t know your names.

4. BUTCH: Actually, I think you already know our

names, though possibly not the name of

our lovely companion.

5. DARUSKA: Really? Should I introduce myself?

6. BUTCH: I wouldn’t.

7. MSR. CHIEN: You must be Butch. Your reputation has

come before you.

8. BUTCH: Merci.


1. MSR. CHIEN: Your ami, Omar, is known as quite the

clever fellow and man of action, but you

are said to be able to see around corners.

2. BUTCH: You flatter me, Msr. Chien. I have to

wonder why are you flattering me?

3. MSR. CHIEN: Tres bien, Msr. Butch! You are quite the

clever homme, n’est ce pas? And you, Msr.

Omar, would you care for a cigar?

4. OMAR: That’s quite tempting.

5. MSR. CHIEN: I hoped you would say that!

6. OMAR: Merci, Msr. Chien.

7. MSR. CHIEN: Allow me, s’il vous plais.

8. OMAR: Thank you very much. (INHALES AND



1. MSR. CHIEN: It is rare that I get to display true

hospitalité vraie, it gratifies my very

soul. And please! May I have the pleasure

of knowing the name of this belle jeune


2. DARUSKA: (FLATTERED) Ty vol, Msr. Chien! You are

quite the charming man!

3. MSR. CHIEN: Příjemný pán, n’est ce pas?

4. BUTCH: I don’t know that this is a good idea.

5. MSR. CHIEN: Dělá mu starosti o kuřata když by se mělo

týkat s vlky.

6. DARUSKA: Msr. Chien, you are so naughty! (LAUGHS)

7. OMAR: What did he say?

8. BUTCH: Basically, he called me a worry-wart.

9. DARUSKA: I am Mademoiselle Daruska.


1. BUTCH: That was really not a good idea!

2. DARUSKA: (FLIRTATIOUSLY) But tell me, Msr, about

your name?

3. MSR. CHIEN: Ah, you know what my name means, do you

not? Yes, I was born on un jour amer, a

bitter day indeed. You might think that

my parents did not love me because they

gave me un nome de ci type, a name such

as this. And under other circumstance,

you might be correct. But my parents,

they loved me with un amour qui est tres

profound! They knew what I was like, they

saw what life would be with me, so they

did the most loving thing any parents

could have done for me. They abandoned me

to a pack of wild dogs living in the

nearby forest.

4. BUTCH: Je comprehends.


1. OMAR: What does that mean? Did you just say

that you understand? Because I don’t


2. BUTCH: I think we’d better be leaving.

3. MSR. CHIEN: Non, mes amis! My story is not finished!

4. DARUSKA: The door is locked!

5. MSR. CHIEN: You see, as I grew from le petite homme

to a man, I learned that my parents had

done me a great service!

6. BUTCH: Are there any other doors?

7. OMAR: No, I can’t find any!

8. MSR. CHIEN: I learned that in fact, the wild dogs of

the forest were my true parents, I was

their true offspring, their progéniture



1. OMAR: Try the windows!

2. MSR. CHIEN: And I believe you came here expecting

possibly a werewolf, a wolf man, n’est ce


3. DARUSKA: He’s between us and the windows!


But as your clever Msr. Butch has

surmised, I am no mere wolf man! I am

Loupe Garou!

5. OMAR: Unable to escape, we stood and watched

Msr. Chien as he transformed from a man

into something that was half-man and half

wolf. It was horrible, he was all long

and shaggy if he didn’t stand upright and

have hands, I would have thought he was a

wolf. Leaping onto his desk, he started

toward Daruska. Butch and I both tried to

block him, but with a snort of contempt




Butch aside. He fell on the floor and

didn’t move. He looked at Daruska closely

for a second, then swatted her too,

causing her to fall down unconscious.

Then he turned to me.

2. MSR. CHIEN: A loupe garou is not like you ordinary


3. OMAR: I’m beginning to see that, Msr. Chien.

4. MSR. CHIEN: Don’t call me that! I hate that name!

5. OMAR: But that was how you introduced yourself

to us.

6. MSR. CHIEN: It is the name my parents gave me when

they cursed me forever! They were

bitterly poor, they didn’t have enough to




couldn’t feed another mouth. They

cursed me, saying that I was like the

luck of dead dogs for them!

2. OMAR: Le grand chien de la faim!

3. MSR. CHIEN: Exactly! And I will never forgive them

for it! But the worst is that I am

trapped in form, never to truly be a man

again! Never to enjoy the company of a

beautiful woman! Never to enjoy the

company of mes propres enfants aimés!

4. OMAR: I can understand that might be a


5. MSR. CHIEN: You know nothing! Zut!

6. OMAR: But what are you doing here? In Village

de Fleuves?



1. MSR. CHIEN: C’est bon, you ask such a question? What

have I been doing in Village de Fleuves?


3. MSR. CHIEN: Aahg! Je déteste les gens! (HOWLS,

BREATHS HEAVY) Il y a eu deux ou trois

petites anicroches, there were problems.

I came here to get away, to stay here in

my chateau and hunt at night away from

the people. But I was not left alone.

4. OMAR: She came to you?

5. MSR. CHIEN: Oui, she came one nuite brumeuse, a

night of very dense fog. She said that

she could cure me, that I could be with

a woman and have children.

6. OMAR: You know she’s lying to you?


1. MSR. CHIEN: Perhaps you are right, but that’s not

all. It’s been getting worse. I used to

only have to do this once a month. Now I

must do this every day. Soon, I will no

longer be a man at all, but only a wolf

all of the time. If she can cure me, I

need to be cured.

2. OMAR: So, what? You’re supposed to kill us,

then she’ll cure you? That’s balmy!

3. MSR. CHIEN: De combattre est fou, I know this. Yet,

as I become more wolf than man, un

bagarerr is all I crave. She did not

want me to kill you, she did not think I

could do it by myself. (CHUCKLES)

Although right now I think I don’t agree

with her. Still, she has plans for some

last great fight with you. And she said

something about a “Barker.”

4. OMAR: Yeah, I know something about that.


1. MSR. CHIEN: C’est bon. Here is the key to the door,

mon frère. Take it and unlock and leave,

because I cannot contain any longer and

if you are here I will be forced to rip

out your throat.

2. OMAR: My friends, what about my mates?

3. MSR. CHIEN: Are in no danger, they are unconscious.

I will hunt only what moves, and you

will have to move. Please, mon frère,

go. I cannot hold it back any longer and

you cannot fight me. If you are still

here I will be forced to kill you, no

matter what she might have said or might

want herself. Bon jour.

4. OMAR: With that, Msr. Chien fell on the floor

and writhed around in agony. Although he

was already pretty hairy, he started to

look even more like a wolf. As quick as




got up and unlocked the door and started

running. I got down three different

hallways when I heard him behind me.

Finding the first door to run through, I

discovered a dining hall where a woman I

knew was setting plates of food.

2. LOGAN: What’s this? Are you all done with Msr.

Chien already?

3. OMAR: Woman if we don’t start running we’re all

going to be done for.

4. LOGAN: I am not “woman!”


6. OMAR: We’re both going to be “dead” if we don’t




1. LOGAN: What happened? What’s going on?

2. OMAR: Did you know your boss was a Loupe


3. LOGAN: Aye!

4. OMAR: And you still took the lot of us to see


5. LOGAN: When a man can turn into a wolf, you

tend to do what he says!

6. OMAR: Good point! Now run!


8. OMAR: We ran down several more hallways, then

I asked Logan if there was any kind of

bell tower or anything we could climb

since he could track us down using his

sense of smell.


1. LOGAN: Odd you should mention that! He had one

built a few months ago!

2. OMAR: So where is it?

3. LOGAN: This way! Follow me!

4. OMAR: Like I have a choice? (HOWLING) Right

behind you!


5. OMAR: We ran up some stairs and got to the

bell tower. There was a ladder going up,

but nothing else. Fortunately it wasn’t

bolted in. I don’t often wish I had a

gun, but right then was one time I did.

We climbed up and I pulled the ladder up

after us, just as the great hairy wolf

got to the bottom of the tower. It was

not too high for him to jump up, but the

tower itself didn’t give his wolf form



1. OMAR: (CONTINED FROM PREVIOUS) any foothold to

climb after us. For the moment, we were

safe. Unfortunately when I pulled up the

ladder it was too tall, and it fell out

the opening down to the ground. Still,

better than the alternative. The wolf

spent a bit of time pacing underneath

the opening, but every once in a while

as it looked up, I caught it’s eye and

it seemed to really be trying to look at

me. Logan noticed that.

2. LOGAN: What’s going on? Seems that beast is

trying to say something to you, almost.

3. OMAR: Yeah, remind me to tell you later.


5. LOGAN: I had you pegged for trouble, Omar.

6. OMAR: Yeah, well don’t get shirty. I think

he’s leaving.


1. LOGAN: Aye, well not a moment too soon. Looks

like rain, and if we stay up here much

longer I’m sure to get dead drookit.

2. OMAR: She was right, I could hear thunder in

the distance. I didn’t know why a loupe

garou would run out in the rain, but run

he did, I watched him run off into the

woods. I could hear the howling in the

distance. Shortly, Butch and Daruska

appeared at under the bell tower.

3. BUTCH: Are you two alright?

4. OMAR: Oi! It’s good to see you two! How are


5. DARUSKA: Ty vol, we’re both dizzy. How did you

get up there?

6. LOGAN: Wheesht! We climbed a ladder that we had

to pull up after us!


1. BUTCH: Really? Where’s the ladder now?

2. OMAR: Uh, it’s out on the lawn.

3. BUTCH: Really? Should we ask?

4. OMAR: I’d rather not discuss that right now.

Right now, let’s just figure out how to

get Logan and me down before the rain


5. LOGAN: Aye, that be soundin’ like the best plan

to me!

6. OMAR: So we finally got down, though it was

hardly a doddle. Then the four of us

were standing looking at each other, and

Daruska asked the logical question:

7. DARUSKA: Now what?

8. LOGAN: Well, it’s lighty and I’ve got some food

for ye, though it’s a bit cold now.


1. OMAR: Yeah, so Butch is getting spaghetti…

2. LOGAN: Of course! Made it with me own hands!

3. OMAR: What are Daruska and I getting?

4. LOGAN: I was told you like steak.

5. DARUSKA: Ty vol!

6. OMAR: I agree with that!


8. OMAR: Well, we had our dinner, and while

eating discussed what we needed to do

next, among other things.

9. DARUSKA: No, I don’t understand. Why are we going

up river? Can’t we just stay here and

wait for the next note from Barker?

10. LOGAN: Now, who’s Barker again?


1. BUTCH: It’s a long story.

2. LOGAN: Is that always going to be your answer?

3. BUTCH: That depends.

4. DARUSKA: Please, I’m trying to eat here!

5. BUTCH: We have to go up river.

6. DARUSKA : I still don’t understand why?

7. OMAR: The high acidity the Examiner found in

the water. We’re betting that there’s

something up there, and that Madame

Rayne is probably involved.

8. DARUSKA: That woman! Doesn’t she ever stop?

9. OMAR: If Msr. Chien was on the level, there’s

only one way to stop her.


1. BUTCH: Yeah, I have a question about your

conversation with Msr. Chien.

2. OMAR: What, you haven’t given me enough agro

about that?

3. BUTCH: Never. Why did he call you “Mon Frere?”

4. OMAR: (PAUSE) You know, this is very good


5. LOGAN: (PAUSE) Did I just miss something?

6. DARUSKA: These two have been travelling together

too long, sometimes they say things that

no one else can hear.

7. BUTCH: Like a dog.

8. OMAR: Or an old married couple.

9. BUTCH: (PAUSE) Logan?


1. LOGAN: Yes, love?

2. DARUSKA: Seriously, I’m trying to eat.

3. BUTCH: Do you think you’ll be coming with us?

4. LOGAN: (LONG PAUSE) I can’t, Butch. Not now.

5. BUTCH: I…see.

6. LOGAN: Butch…

7. BUTCH: Yes, Logan?

8. LOGAN: What was her name?

9. BUTCH: Cadha. Her name was Cadha. What was his?

10. LOGAN: His name was Bert.

11. BUTCH: Is it because…


1. LOGAN: (ON TOP) Yes, Butch. It is. I’m not ready,

not now.

2. OMAR: That pretty much ended the meal. The three

of us went back to the inn and packed our

gear. The next morning we set out to

follow the river upstream to see what was

going on. On the way out of Village de

Fleuves, something caught our eye.

3. DARUSKA: Who’s house is that?

4. OMAR: I’m guessing that’s Logan’s house.

5. BUTCH: Yes, that’s Logan’s house.

6. OMAR: The three of us fell silent and moved on

in the early morning sun. It was a cold

morning, and we all felt that what was

waiting for us might be more dangerous

than anything we’d ever done before. But

as we walked on, Butch looked back. He



1. OMAR: (CONTINED FROM PREVIOUS) looked back at

the candle in Logan’s window.

2. NARRATOR: This has been The Helpers, Episode 5:

River of Death. The show was performed

by Mudsock Theater of the Mind. It was

written by Chris Neal and recorded at

Studio Cubed. Thank you, and good


copyright (C) 2013 christopher w neal all rights reserved


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