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My Husband's Mistress

Updated on August 22, 2016
Grandpa and his other wife Copyright Ruth Kongaika
Grandpa and his other wife Copyright Ruth Kongaika

Yes, it is true. My husband has another woman. She is beautiful, a little dirty, and gives him what he needs. When he is not working, or home with me, he is almost always with her. Sometimes she makes we jealous. Sometimes she makes me mad or sad. I can't complain too much though, because we both have benefited from this unusual relationship. I'm sure you are wondering who she is. Well, she is my husband's plantation.

Grandpa and his taro. Copyright Ruth Kongaika
Grandpa and his taro. Copyright Ruth Kongaika
Grandpa's Honey Bananas Copyright Ruth Kongaika
Grandpa's Honey Bananas Copyright Ruth Kongaika
Papaya Tree with fruit Copyright Ruth Kongaika
Papaya Tree with fruit Copyright Ruth Kongaika

Now why would I call a plantation my husband's affair? Because he loves to spend time with her, it seems at times, more than he does with me. Her vines and leaves are seductive to him. He loves watching her grow and blossom. What does she have that I don't?

He actually saw a doctor regarding his need to be with her. The doctor was quite concerned, and after much thought, the physician gave this wise remark: Perhaps you like your plantation so much, because you feel in control when you are there. When you are at home, your wife tells you what to do. So, you have a need to be in total control, and at the plantation, you are the king.

You see, my husband comes from the islands of Tonga. Most people there are farmers. They grow their own food. The secrets of how to get the best crops has been passed down for generations. Food is money to these people. If they have food, they are rich! Not only that, but my husband's country of Tonga is a monarchy. They have a King and my husband has royal blood flowing in his veins. It is no wonder he that feels the need to be the ruler. The food that he plants definitely yield to him. If they don't, they are cut down. He plants, nourishes, waters and has high hopes for a productive harvest. He has no time for unproductive plants.

In our neighborhood, my husband is getting to be known as the "banana king". He has been very successful in cultivating delicious apple bananas. When a bunch get almost ripe, he harvests them. They ripen quite rapidly when they are cut, and there is no way that my husband and I can eat all of them, so he shares them with neighbors, friends, the poor students that we live close to and others in need.

When my grandson came to visit last Christmas, he tasted some of Grandpa's bananas. He instantly said that they had honey in them. After he traveled back home, he called and said he missed Grandpa's "honey bananas".

We used to have many delicious papaya. Every day, we would eat sweet nutritious papaya for breakfast. Unfortunately, the trees got a fungus and died. My husband just planted several more papaya trees, and he is very hopeful for a large harvest soon.



Manioke (tapioca) Copyright Ruth Kongaika
Manioke (tapioca) Copyright Ruth Kongaika


Not only does my husband's plantation give him bananas and papaya, but also many other yummy foods. My favorite are the sweet potatoes (called kumala in Tongan). Although I was raised on potatoes in Utah, I would almost rather eat kumala. So delicious! They come in purple and orange-yellow. Then there is taro (yam), 'ufi (long white root crop), beans, peanuts, pele (Tongan spinach) and corn.

With the economy the way it is right now, I am grateful that my husband spends so much time with his other love, the plantation. Many of the root crops can last in the ground for a long length of time which makes good food storage.

Kumala (sweet potato) Copyright Ruth Kongaika
Kumala (sweet potato) Copyright Ruth Kongaika

One day my husband came home looking a little bit different than usual. He look a little disheartened by his experience in "the bush" (that is what Tongans call their plantations). Come to find out, he had been attacked by a long centipede. It had crawled up his pant leg and left two big fang marks on his thigh. I thought that might make him give up his affair, but, no - he just resolved to go even more often!

So, you see, I do not mind so much my husband's affair with his plantation. It has saved us so much money on groceries, it gives him exercise, and he is out of my hair while I do my crafts and write my hubs.

© 2011 Elayne

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  • elayne001 profile image
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    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Glad you enjoyed it Minnetonka Twin. hehe - yes, I am blessed to have a hard working husband. Aloha!

  • Minnetonka Twin profile image

    Linda Rogers 5 years ago from Minnesota

    You are very blessed to have a husband that cheats on you with his occupation in the plantation. He sounds like a great man and a great provider. I loved all the pictures too. NUMMY!!

  • elayne001 profile image
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    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Thank you Virtual Treasures. I am glad you enjoyed it. Aloha!

  • Virtual Treasures profile image

    Virtual Treasures 5 years ago from Michigan

    Excellent article elayne001! The title drew me in, but the article was great!

  • elayne001 profile image
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    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Just looked it up cause I thought it was wrong Pamela, but too late to change. It is piqued your interest. Sorry. Just learned something.

  • elayne001 profile image
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    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Thank you Pamela. Glad to have perked your interest! Aloha!

  • Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

    Pamela Kinnaird W 5 years ago from Maui and Arizona

    I saw your title and said, "No way!" I knew it had to be a play on words. Great hub. Great plantation. Voted up and awesome.

  • elayne001 profile image
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    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    We always like a "juicy" title. Glad you liked it LadyFiddler. Aloha!

  • LadyFiddler profile image

    Joanna Chandler 5 years ago from On planet Earth

    LOL

    The title caught me its catchy good one

    Then i said why would this woman write about her husband having an affair on hubpages. LOL i thought was with a woman well he better keep that affair with the plantation seeing it has lovely benefits to both you and him.

    We eat that kind of stuff where i live too.

    Thanks for sharing

  • elayne001 profile image
    Author

    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Glad you enjoyed it DeBorrah. I appreciate your comments. Mahalo and Aloha!

  • DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

    DeBorrah K Ogans 5 years ago

    Elayne, Lovely read! How amazing it really is possible to have a healthy affair and share it with others as well! This was delightful! Thank you for sharing, Peace & Blessings!

  • elayne001 profile image
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    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Thanks RobbyK. I am sure you will enjoy having an affair like Dad. Hope you weren't worried when you read the title! 'Ofa atu!

  • profile image

    RobbyK 5 years ago

    Great Hub! I knew even before reading it what the affair was all about....it must be in the blood!:). Can't wait to have the opportunity to start my affair with a plantation one day....not much of that over hear in Egypt! 'Ofa atuz!

  • elayne001 profile image
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    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Thanks prettynutjob30 for stopping over to read my hub. Glad you got something out of it, even a chuckle or two!!

  • prettynutjob30 profile image

    Mary 5 years ago from From the land of Chocolate Chips,and all other things sweet.

    Great Hub I couldn't help but giggle when I read it.

  • kenneth avery profile image

    Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

    Dear elayne...YOURE so welcome, my hubwriter friend. My doctors shoot my spine full of painkillers every three months at the Long Town Pain Clinic outside of Tupelo, Miss. And I take high-powered meds everyday of the month...these are for life. But I try to focus on the homeless, the cancer victims and the abused women and children and keep the pity spotlight off me. I try. And I hope we talk again soon, but YOU keep up your delightful hub writing. Bless you. Kenneth

  • elayne001 profile image
    Author

    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    I appreciate your kind words and hub votes, kenneth avery. Hope that you will be enjoying better health soon. Happy Holidays to you, too.

  • kenneth avery profile image

    Kenneth Avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

    Elayne....masterpiece hub. Hilarious and beautiful play on words and phrases. Voted up and away. I appreciate your talent. And I apologize to you for not visiting more often to check your great hubs. I am sorry, but my health is not good and I was finishing some projects that I needed to clear away in case my health should worsen. Elayne, I DO value your following, your many sweet comments and your smiling photo that cheers me up. Have a Merry Christmas and I will try to be here more often.////KENNETH

  • elayne001 profile image
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    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Glad you enjoyed it janiek13. I know - I am grateful it is not the other kind of affair! I am counting my blessings. Thanks for commenting.

  • janiek13 profile image

    Mary Krenz 5 years ago from Florida's Space Coast

    I enjoyed reading your hub, at first, I thought we were gonna be talking revenge. I am glad it turned out differently. This hub gave me quite a chuckle.

  • elayne001 profile image
    Author

    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Sorry if I shocked you pmccray. All in fun! Glad you finally saw the humor in it, and I appreciate your votes! A little fruity!

  • pmccray profile image

    pmccray 5 years ago from Utah

    Hi elayne011 - whoa this through me for a loop at first, but again so well written. Voted up, marked funny, interesting and beautiful. Your husband has a "fruitful" outside relationship in more ways than one.

  • elayne001 profile image
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    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Thank you tillsontitan. So glad that you enjoyed learning more about Hawaii. Yes, I am so lucky to live with royalty and have plenty of delicious food to eat.

  • tillsontitan profile image

    Mary Craig 5 years ago from New York

    Great eye-catching title! Worth stopping by to read as well. Sounds like you have lots of yummy food at your fingertips and you live with royalty, God Bless. Voted up and interesting since I learned something about Hawaii's food. The pictures are good too.

  • elayne001 profile image
    Author

    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Well said breakfastpop! So true. Thank you.

  • breakfastpop profile image

    breakfastpop 5 years ago

    Now that's an affair that bears fruit!

  • elayne001 profile image
    Author

    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Gotcha, didn't I PWalker281. Glad it wasn't the other kind of affair that I had to confess. Glad you enjoyed it.

  • profile image

    PWalker281 5 years ago

    With that provocative title, I just had to read this hub. It is a lovely testament to your husband's love of his plantation! Rated up and beautiful!

  • elayne001 profile image
    Author

    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Thanks Jobicus - yes, my hubs-band is great - both of them, actually.

    Sorry to scare you LianaK. I'm sure you are glad it was humorous. Thanks for your comments. Hublove to you!

  • LianaK profile image

    LianaK 5 years ago

    Loved this hub. I was a little worried about the title at first, but it is so full of humor. Love it. My husband really got a kick out of it too. Fun hub!

  • profile image

    Jobicus 5 years ago

    Sounds like you're having an affair too with your HUBS.... So, how's your HUBS-band? Lol.

  • elayne001 profile image
    Author

    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Glad you liked it masmasika. I also have fond memories of my grandparent's farm - the chickens, the sheep, the wide open spaces (the smell : ) )..... Thanks for your vote and positive comments.

  • profile image

    masmasika 5 years ago

    Interesting. Wonderful. So many adjectives to describe your hub. I enjoyed reading it. Reminds me of the farm where I grew up. voted up

  • elayne001 profile image
    Author

    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    hehehehe Laura in Denver. well said. thanks for stopping by and commenting. Aloha!

  • Laura in Denver profile image

    Laura Deibel 5 years ago from Aurora

    Strange, truly married to work.

  • elayne001 profile image
    Author

    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    I appreciate your positive feedback brakel2. Don't know - it just popped into my head. Glad you enjoyed it.

  • brakel2 profile image

    Audrey Selig 5 years ago from Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

    Hi Elayne - Your sense of humor is out of sight. How did you ever think up the affair with the plantation? It is funny, a play on words and written with flair and organization. A surprise shows up in every paragraph. He sounds like a super husband and a hard worker to feed you so well. You even save money with his affair. It sounds like a wonderful life, and great writing skill on your part. Thanks for sharing.

  • elayne001 profile image
    Author

    Elayne 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

    Thanks you all for your comments. I, too, am grateful his affair is with bananas and other edibles rather than flesh and blood. Then I would probably have to write a book rather than a hub. Glad you enjoyed it!

  • profile image

    Sunnie Day 5 years ago

    This was wonderful...you are blessed to have so many wonderful fruits around you and a husband who is faithful to you and his garden..lol

    Great hub,

    Sunni

  • profile image

    diogenes 5 years ago

    Amusing my dear. Heaven help him if he replaces the plantation with a flesh and blood lover (apart from you).

    Well...glad you turned over a new leaf! I loved the story...Bob

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

    I wish my husband was having an affair...with a plantation :) Terrific hub! Thank you for sharing all the details. Voted UP with a bit of envy! :)

  • barryrutherford profile image

    Barry Rutherford 5 years ago from Queensland Australia

    Enough to drive you Bananas...

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