My Special Funny Friend
My special funny friend.
I have a special friend
who's grown close to me for years.
He's an expert in waste management,
delights in working one on one
but he's usually unemployed
and just hangs out in shorts all day.
Sometimes I gladly lend a hand
until he gets a better offer
because he's often helped me through
before in so many tight spots.
He's stood up for me for years
and has been beat on my behalf.
Numerous times he's taken poundings
without complaining much at all
and though sometimes he's very hard on me
when I am in the hole,
he always comes to cheer me up.
He's constantly dependable
when things start getting hot,
and even though he's often been in
some pretty hairy situations
he's always been a heads up guy.
That's why I let him gratefully
make all of my night deposits
when I'm out pursuing pleasure
over business...he's at work.
He has taken many blows for me
and yes, endured exposure
both in public, and in private
to increase my many gains.
He's adored by all the ladies
they're always trying to take him out
to exciting new locations
then offering him a place to stay
or a ride too, if he needs it.
Cause they all know his lifes motto
is that, "Nice guys finish last."
For this they caress and hold him
and thanks to his firm convictions
I've made many great connections.
He has kept in fairly good shape
he likes basketball because
he is so adept at dribbling
and he's great on making long shots.
he also does a lot of pushups
acrobatics can be fun,
plus he's ever fond of stretching
just as high as he can reach,
and even though I've been told
sometimes he's a little bent,
a lot of that just has to do with
the couple nuts that he hangs out with.
They are absolutely no good when under pressure
and are over sensitive,
but he's always been straight with me.
He has the abilities to rise
high above his weak companions
and when they really start to bug him
he just simply blows them off,
and that helps relieve the tension,
by avoiding too much friction between them.
I'm quite sure I'll always treasure
the many moments that we've shared
past the time I will no longer
still be able to support him.
But if circumstances force me
to carry his dead weight
I'll just install a lift
or offer him the latest pills
to allow him to continue
pursuing all that he finds good.
I have a special friend
who's big on me,
I'm hooked on him,
he hangs with me
we are blood brothers
linked as partners,
now and always
inseperable till the end.