Ralph Breaks the Internet Review and Cross-Disney Project

Greetings, everyone! Happy early Thanksgiving and I hope you’re all keeping safe. Today, I’m gonna try something a little different. Not only will I be giving you a review of Ralph Breaks the Internet, but I am also gonna give you a little interesting article about an interesting idea that sprung from watching the movie. Think Bob Chipman’s series of How To Fix videos – wherein he takes franchises and details how he would make a film in that franchise – for a better comparison. Anyway, let’s get started with a review of Ralph.

It’s been six years since the events of the first movie, and Wreck-It Ralph (John C. Reilly) and Vanellope (Sarah Silverman) have been enjoying each other’s friendship when they are off the clock from their respective games. However, Vanellope can’t help but feel that Sugar Rush is getting a little too predictable. However, Ralph’s efforts to spice up the game for her result in a part getting damaged, leading arcade owner Mr. Litwak (Ed O’Neill) to believe that he’ll have to shut the game down. So Ralph and Vanellope embark on a quest to the unknown Internet via a newly installed router to find a part on eBay and get it back to the arcade before Sugar Rush is shut down. Along the way, they come across multiple crazy characters, including Shank (Gal Gadot) - who seems to be a sendup of the macho tough racer archetype perfected by Vin Diesel in the Fast and Furious series – Yess (Taraji P. Henson), the head algorithm for the video-sharing site Buzztube, and of course, the Disney princesses. However, throughout their quest, Vanellope starts to have second thoughts about going back to her game, developing a liking for Shank’s game Slaughter Race, to which Ralph does not take too kindly.

OK, guys. I’m gonna try to make the review portion of this article as quick as I can because I really wanna get to the second part. And when you read it, you’ll see why. Trust me.

Anyway, I really had a fun time with this movie. The animation is great, the in-jokes about the Internet are numerous and most of them hit bullseye, and I support the ultimate moral the film was going for. I will say that I would have liked a bit more of Sgt. Calhoun and Fix-It Felix, seeing as they were such a cute couple in the first film, but when I did see them in this film, they were pretty hilarious. So, bottom line. Go see it, take the kids, you’ll have a fun time.

Now, onto the second part! However, I would advise against reading some of this if you haven’t seen the movie yet. I mean, I’m not gonna reveal anything huge, but I don’t wanna take any chances. So, stop reading at this sentence, go see the movie, then return to the article.

It’s OK. I’ll wait.

Seen it? Good.

So, anyway, one of the biggest selling points of this film was getting an opportunity to see all the past Disney princesses interact with Vanellope and shoot the breeze, which is exactly what we get in this movie…and it’s hilarious! In fact, I’m sort of surprised Disney allowed this to happen, but here we are. But what makes it even better is that this is not the only scene involving the princesses. They also appear at the end of the climax, where they all use their respective skills in a really cool way that I imagine will have die-hard Disney fans brimming with excitement.

And watching all of this play out got me to thinking how cool it would be if Disney took not only all of their Disney princesses, but also some of their other characters from their animated canon and put them into sort of a feature-length adventure. And here’s the outline for said adventure that I’ve got planned in my head.

Note: this is all theoretical and for my own amusement. Just thought you should know that.

All right, so here’s how it could start. An old enemy of Merlin’s (yes, the Merlin from Disney’s 1961 adaptation of The Sword in the Stone) is on the rise again and is trying to build a machine that does…something evil, I’m sure, the multiple parts of which happen to reside in the respective dimensions of the different Disney films. Yep, that’s how you could explain the convergence of all these different characters; they all exist in different dimensions. And since Merlin’s enemy – who could probably be named something like the Collector or…anything other than the Collector – is as powerful as Merlin, he has the power to interact with all of these different dimensions.

So, the villain gets all the parts and is starting to assemble the machine. Merlin surmises that he needs the denizens from these different dimensions to embark on a mission to stop the villain. So, he sends out Archimedes to procure these different individuals, and here’s the roster I would have them assemble:

Ralph and Vanellope

Anna and Elsa

Merida

Moana

Shank

Judy Hopps and Nick Wilde

Finnick

Hiro and Baymax

Aladdin

Jasmine

Now that the roster has been assembled, Merlin equips them with magical tools and weaponry so that they can go on a quest to stop the villain from taking over the world, blah blah blah, bring balance to the Force, yakety yak, all that stuff.

So, yeah, as you can see, the plot for that is a little weak, but it kinda doesn’t matter because it would only serve as a reason to see all of our favorite Disney characters from different movies interact and bounce off each other, much like in Ralph Breaks the Internet. Plus, it’d be cool to see them kick a little supernatural butt while they’re at it.

Now, this sounds like a pretty commercially focused project that could have the potential to be very pandering, right? Yes, you are right about that. Which is why you would need to hire a spectacular animation directing team to elevate such a dubious premise. I myself would suggest…Phil Lord and Christopher Miller. Yes, that’s right. The directing duo behind Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, 21 & 22 Jump Street, and of course, The Lego Movie. In fact, it’s because of The Lego Movie that I would suggest this directing duo. Because that movie sounded like one of the most cynical, commercially focused projects, but turned out spectacular when they put their spin on it. In fact, their whole career could be summed as “taking stupid ideas and turning them into great movies”.

So, yeah. That’s how I imagine this playing out. But knowing Disney, they probably already have plans along this line since Ralph Breaks the Internet is starting out with a strong box office performance. So, who knows what will come in the future? But that’s fun of living. Not knowing what’s coming.

Anyway, have a great Thanksgiving and be on the lookout for more of my writings!