Signs that you know you're getting old part 2

Okay, here's the long-awaited (well,...maybe) continuation of how time gets to all of us and turns us into old farts. Here are more signs that you are getting old:

You get aroused watching "Hot in Cleveland".

You remember when Jane Leeves was a Benny Hill girl.

Your home phone has a dial.

Your cell phone has a clamshell.

It takes you five minutes in the morning to get out of bed.

The first part of the paper you read is the obitiuaries.

Your microwave has a dial.

You own and use a black-and-white tv.

Your favorite milk shake is an Ensure.

You don't get carded going into a nightclub.

Twenty somethings call you Sir or Madam.

You brush your hair with a towel.

After watching a DVD for the first time, you ask how you rewind it.

You still save your files on a 3 1/2" disk.

You still think the Rams are in Los Angeles or the football Cardinals are in St. Louis.

You call everybody Dude.

Your idea of a happening hairstyle is a perm.

You still use a fountain pen and you know how to fill it.

You use a notebook to write in and not a laptop.

You use sayings to explain things, like, "Red sky at morning, sailors take warning. Red sky at night, sailor's delight." (True story,...some twenty-something girl looked at me when I said that, amazed.)

You still don't know who Nicky Minaj is.

When someone gets excited talking about Little John, you wonder why they're talking about Robin Hood.

You hear someone takling about Twitter, and you jump in with, "Yeah, you need good ones or speakers don't sound right." (Wait for it,...)

You wake up three times a night to go to the john.

You still think mullets are cool.

And finally, you're counting the days not to your next vacation, but when you can join AARP.