12 Signs You are Getting Desperate for a Job
Job... Who Needs a Job?
There are plenty of reasons you may be out of job right now. Maybe you were laid off. Perhaps you were fired. You could be a recent graduate looking for a first job. It is even possible you simply walked out on your last job. For whatever reason, you are now sitting at home, staring at your computer screen right now and wondering how you got here in life.
It's OK! Everyone has been desperate for job at least once in life. I know how you feel:
-The endless job searches online and walking into businesses only to get the doors slammed in your face.
-Asking friends, family members, neighbors, or anyone you meet on the street about potential jobs.
-Revising your resume for the 10th time in one month.
-Staring at the phone waiting for a recruiter to return your call.
The job market is tough and looking for a job is a rotten way to spend your time. Eventually desperation sinks in. If you are experiencing anything on this list, you are starting to get desperate for a job. Even if I can't offer you a job, I can at least attempt to entertain you a little bit. Good luck, my friend!
12 Signs Your Job Search is Hitting the Desperation Point:
1. Six months ago you felt sorry for the guy standing on the corner, spinning and dancing around with a sign to promote the "Frank's Festive Flooring and Furniture" special down the street. Now when you see him, you are filled with envy... even when it rains. Deep down, that small voice inside your head you always ignore is telling you to run that guy over so you can take his job. Thank goodness you never listen to that voice.
2. You are starting to have full length conversations with your pets. During these discussions, the topic of Fido getting off his lazy, fluffy butt and getting a job may have come up. You've also asked the hamster to buy his own food and thought about putting Kitty is a Purina commercial. It is getting scary at your place.
3. You've begun looking at every item in your home as a way to make money on eBay or Craigslist. In your mind, you could become the entrepreneur you were always meant to be. In reality, you have a bunch of second-hand crap no one wanted in the first place and you'd better find a real job soon.
4. Your resume does not even resemble a real resume anymore. You've updated it at least 20 times in the last week. You never even worked at an internship before in your life; saying you interned in France while saving children from a burning plane is taking your deception to a whole new level. Adding, "I am so freaking awesome you'd be stupid not to hire me" to your profile is only making it worse.
5. Traditional cover letters are not doing the job, so you've upped the ante. You are starting to put threats in the such as, "Either hire me or those blackmail photos I have of you are going on Facebook now." You are still not getting any calls back. The cops did visit your apartment yesterday though to have a conversation with you. No, the police force is not hiring in your area right now either. cover letters
6. When you turn on your computer now, it automatically takes you to CareerBuilder and searches the site for you. Give it a little more time and the computer will learn how to say: "No jobs again today, loser!"
7. A few months ago, moving to another county started to seem like an OK idea so you would have more jobs options. Last month, you were open about moving to another state. By next week, you might even start applying for jobs in other states. Hey, why not move halfway across the country to live in a state you don't even like? A job is a job, right?
8. You stalked your former boss from 20 years ago until finding her on Facebook. When you tried to friend her, she did not remember you at first. When she did finally remember you, she immediately rejected your request. Not only would she never hire you again, she does not feel sorry for you. Calling her a mean cow when you walked out on that job might have been a bad idea.
9. You've been doing nothing but watch reality shows all day long while looking for jobs online. After a while, you decided to start applying to be on reality shows. Once you did not succeed with that, you began to film your own reality show about being jobless. So far, 15 people have watched it on YouTube. Apparently you are not going to get rich that way either.
10. Even the workers at McDonald's and Burger King are tired of looking at you. No, they are not hiring yet, just like they were not hiring the day before and the day before that. Just leave them alone. The managers are considering getting restraining orders against you.
11. You are certain your phone must be broken because that is the only logical explanation as to why no one is calling you back. In a desperate attempt to prove this theory is correct, you call one of your friends and find your phone is making outgoing calls. You ask your friend to call you back. Surely, the phone will not ring! However, it does ring. Your friend tells you the phone is working and stop bugging her at work to make stupid calls like this each day.
12. You've started applying for jobs you don't even understand. You have no idea what a "Spiral Access Contribution Technician Specialist Level 8" could mean, but hey, you are not picky. You just bet could figure it out somehow.
Copyright ©2014 Jeannieinabottle
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