- Entertainment and Media
Stop Talking About Tiger Woods!
Sure enough, when I turned on my tv this morning, there was another giddy reporter talking about Tiger Woods. Sigh. Now my breakfast is ruined! That’s it, I’ve had it. I am now forced to write this poem and my top ten Tiger Woods retorts, because I just don’t want to hear any more tripe about him. So here are my thoughts on that subject.
Stop Talking To Me
About Tiger Woods!
There once was a great golfer
named Tiger Woods,
Who bleeped every fair maiden
that he could,
Unfortunately, it was leaked
to the world press,
Which caused his poor wife
to become distressed,
All over his unimportant, confessed, adulterous mess.
Please, stop talking to me about Tiger Woods!
NOT that you’re listening to me though. So you know...
The uproar was loud while
Some even had the balls and gall to balk,
As if they have never, ever bleeped up,
So self-righteous and pompous in their bluff,
And tenacious in their efforts to divert us,
From their own salacious, nasty stuff!
I just can’t stand those officious types can you? Well hell...
Hopefully they’ll finally shut up and forget it,
'Cause who gives a bleep, that crap has ended,
Really folks, stop, think and try to understand,
Tiger Woods is just an ordinary, red-blooded human.
You know that mistakes are made daily by one and all,
And one day, each and every one of you,
Will too fall... far from grace!
(I’d like to be a fly on your wall when you fall then; Oh yes,Yes, YES!)
But have no fear, hallelujah people, don’t despair,
Another time will come around for Tiger Woods to SHINE,
Then you nasty commentators will be bleeping hypocritical;
As if nothing had ever happened, and you never could,
Have been oh so very mean, arrogant, nosy and unkind,
PLEASE people, STOP talking to me about Tiger Woods!!!
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