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Stop Talking About Tiger Woods!

Updated on November 12, 2011

Sure enough, when I turned on my tv this morning, there was another giddy reporter talking about Tiger Woods. Sigh. Now my breakfast is ruined! That’s it, I’ve had it. I am now forced to write this poem and my top ten Tiger Woods retorts, because I just don’t want to hear any more tripe about him. So here are my thoughts on that subject.

Stop Talking To Me
About Tiger Woods!

There once was a great golfer
named Tiger Woods,
Who bleeped every fair maiden
that he could,
Unfortunately, it was leaked
to the world press,
Which caused his poor wife
to become distressed,
All over his unimportant, confessed, adulterous mess.
Please, stop talking to me about Tiger Woods!

NOT that you’re listening to me though. So you know...

The uproar was loud while
people talked,
Some even had the balls and gall to balk,
As if they have never, ever bleeped up,
So self-righteous and pompous in their bluff,
And tenacious in their efforts to divert us,
From their own salacious, nasty stuff!

I just can’t stand those officious types can you? Well hell...

Hopefully they’ll finally shut up and forget it,
'Cause who gives a bleep, that crap has ended,
Really folks, stop, think and try to understand,
Tiger Woods is just an ordinary, red-blooded human.

You know that mistakes are made daily by one and all,
And one day, each and every one of you,
Will too fall... far from grace!
Oh Yes!

(I’d like to be a fly on your wall when you fall then; Oh yes,Yes, YES!)

But have no fear, hallelujah people, don’t despair,
Another time will come around for Tiger Woods to SHINE,
Then you nasty commentators will be bleeping hypocritical;
professed blind,
As if nothing had ever happened, and you never could,
Have been oh so very mean, arrogant, nosy and unkind,
PLEASE people, STOP talking to me about Tiger Woods!!!

Want more Tiger Wood entertainment?

Go to my Top 10 Tiger Wood Retorts

____________________________________, my pen is a mighty sword!

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    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 6 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, callmefoxxy! You are very welcome! And IM glad that you like Andy. And I Personally Invite YOU to Follow me and My Takes on Life. If you should desire. I promise you will NOT be bored. Take care. Kenneth

    • callmefoxxy profile image

      callmefoxxy 6 years ago

      Hi, Thanks for the comments everyone.

      Hello kenneth avery. I'm honoured that you became a foxxy follower (smile). Andy Griffith is one of my favourite old-time shows (how'd you know that?)... guess I'll have to visit Hamilton, Alabama one of these days.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 6 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      callmefoxxy, Yes, you said it! Enough is enough. I do wish the media would stop kicking a celebrity when he or she is down. They wouldnt like that if 'we' did that to them! Voted up and away! Great read, foxxy. And I am now HONORED to be a Follower. Sincerely, Kenneth Avery, from a rural town, Hamilton, in northwest Alabama that looks like Mayberry on the Andy Griffith Show. Peace and keep up the great work.

    • dannywoodpx profile image

      dannywoodpx 7 years ago from Portugal

      yeah...poor Tiger...

    • Property-Invest profile image

      Property-Invest 7 years ago from London

      Great hub! I too am fed up with people being Tiger Trigger Happy. Let him who is without sin, cast the first stone!

    • profile image

      da_bizkid 7 years ago

      finally someone see what i see now that the masters is starting more more more more tiger mania media uggggh let the man breathe i say he's in the dog house anyway.

    • Pollyannalana profile image

      Pollyannalana 7 years ago from US

      I'm sure it won't soon be forgotten by his family, it's not like it was a fling or two. If I were his wife, Id clean him out now and never look back.

    • Chris Eddy111 profile image

      Chris Eddy111 7 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Hi callmefoxxy, Micky Dee. Hey, I've been away from my computer this week so that's why it's been so quiet. I wanted to say, "I'M BACK". I know you missed me.

      Stop talking 'bout Tiger Woods eh, lol.

    • callmefoxxy profile image

      callmefoxxy 7 years ago

      @debt-into-wealth. Hi, nice to have you stop in. Glad I was able to induce a smile, but oops for the choking, lol. Yes, I too hope he kicks ass. I want to watch and snort as those same advertisers who dropped him line up to kiss his... feet, once again. Hehehe (wink)

      @Micky Dee. Whatcha doing? Been a bit busy re-learning all about this web stuff, and I bet we miss you more! :P You know you're always welcome, come in, come in... We'll be popping in to your place next any day now.

      callmefoxxy, my pen is a mighty sword!

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 7 years ago

      Whasappening? Well I miss you ladies so I'm over here knocking on the door. Ya'll take care now!

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 7 years ago

      Hey Debt-into-wealth!Thanks for the Amen on that. I think I'll go over and see what you have over at your place. I've got to tell you though- your name doesn't imply much fun. Well if you have truth you'll win me over. You ladies wait right here. I'll be back before you know I've been here (unless you're sitting on top of your computer).

    • debt-into-wealth profile image

      debt-into-wealth 7 years ago

      Good stuff...had me choking on my coffee!

      I'm with Micky, it's such a waste focusing on this guy with the other problems in the world. I for one will be cheering when he kicks ass next tourney, and everyone forgets this nonsense

    • callmefoxxy profile image

      callmefoxxy 7 years ago

      @Chris Eddy111, LOL, thanks gurl! I just HAD to do it, arrrggghhh!, LOL.

      @ Micky Dee, thank you. That's exactly what this poem is supposed to get across, along with much humour. There are sooo much more important and meaningful things out there to talk about, like... (chuckle) where to find your handle, heheheeeee.

      callmefoxxy, my pen is a mighty sword!

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 7 years ago

      Great poem. Great thoughts. Great hub! We have an injustice system that's been screwing over people for what now, going on 300 years and really more. Yet Tiger is what they want to concentrate on. These press freaks and other pious jackasses ought to google- "the falsely imprisoned". They will never run out of material- they absolutely will never run out! Like they give a flip about real morality. Oh they make me so mad I could fly off a handle. Where the hell is my handle?

    • Chris Eddy111 profile image

      Chris Eddy111 7 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Damn girl, that's funny and soooooo good. Don't talk to me 'bout Tiger Woods.....hahaha.