ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

Stop Talking About Tiger Woods!

Updated on November 12, 2011

Sure enough, when I turned on my tv this morning, there was another giddy reporter talking about Tiger Woods. Sigh. Now my breakfast is ruined! That’s it, I’ve had it. I am now forced to write this poem and my top ten Tiger Woods retorts, because I just don’t want to hear any more tripe about him. So here are my thoughts on that subject.

Stop Talking To Me
About Tiger Woods!

There once was a great golfer
named Tiger Woods,
Who bleeped every fair maiden
that he could,
Unfortunately, it was leaked
to the world press,
Which caused his poor wife
to become distressed,
All over his unimportant, confessed, adulterous mess.
Please, stop talking to me about Tiger Woods!

NOT that you’re listening to me though. So you know...

The uproar was loud while
people talked,
Some even had the balls and gall to balk,
As if they have never, ever bleeped up,
So self-righteous and pompous in their bluff,
And tenacious in their efforts to divert us,
From their own salacious, nasty stuff!

I just can’t stand those officious types can you? Well hell...

Hopefully they’ll finally shut up and forget it,
'Cause who gives a bleep, that crap has ended,
Really folks, stop, think and try to understand,
Tiger Woods is just an ordinary, red-blooded human.

You know that mistakes are made daily by one and all,
And one day, each and every one of you,
Will too fall... far from grace!
Oh Yes!

(I’d like to be a fly on your wall when you fall then; Oh yes,Yes, YES!)

But have no fear, hallelujah people, don’t despair,
Another time will come around for Tiger Woods to SHINE,
Then you nasty commentators will be bleeping hypocritical;
professed blind,
As if nothing had ever happened, and you never could,
Have been oh so very mean, arrogant, nosy and unkind,
PLEASE people, STOP talking to me about Tiger Woods!!!


Want more Tiger Wood entertainment?

Go to my Top 10 Tiger Wood Retorts


____________________________________
callmefoxxy.com, my pen is a mighty sword!


Liked this article? Then you may also like:

Serious Satellite Radio is Sirius' Starmate 5 by callmefoxxy
"Listen to what you want, when you want, wherever you are," Sirius says, but that's not quite true here in Canada, eh. Read my full review of Sirius' Starmate 5 (ST5C) Plug & Play Satellite Radio with...

Is Love The Question Or The Answer? by callmefoxxy
Is love the question or the answer? Is love today's word for sex, Or a simple affair of the heart? Does it mend wounds, Or tear relationships apart? Can it stir a man's desire, Or only set his soul on fire, All this I ask.

My Extended Stay by callmefoxxy
An extended stay is what I plan as one of Hubpages' Hubbers. Yep, I'm looking forward to throwing the doors of this huge, cyber hotel suite wide open to allow all my new "hub" friends in to share my my eclectic musings.

Comments

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 

      6 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      Hello, callmefoxxy! You are very welcome! And IM glad that you like Andy. And I Personally Invite YOU to Follow me and My Takes on Life. If you should desire. I promise you will NOT be bored. Take care. Kenneth

    • callmefoxxy profile imageAUTHOR

      callmefoxxy 

      6 years ago

      Hi, Thanks for the comments everyone.

      Hello kenneth avery. I'm honoured that you became a foxxy follower (smile). Andy Griffith is one of my favourite old-time shows (how'd you know that?)... guess I'll have to visit Hamilton, Alabama one of these days.

    • kenneth avery profile image

      Kenneth Avery 

      6 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama

      callmefoxxy, Yes, you said it! Enough is enough. I do wish the media would stop kicking a celebrity when he or she is down. They wouldnt like that if 'we' did that to them! Voted up and away! Great read, foxxy. And I am now HONORED to be a Follower. Sincerely, Kenneth Avery, from a rural town, Hamilton, in northwest Alabama that looks like Mayberry on the Andy Griffith Show. Peace and keep up the great work.

    • dannywoodpx profile image

      dannywoodpx 

      8 years ago from Portugal

      yeah...poor Tiger...

    • Property-Invest profile image

      Property-Invest 

      8 years ago from London

      Great hub! I too am fed up with people being Tiger Trigger Happy. Let him who is without sin, cast the first stone!

    • profile image

      da_bizkid 

      8 years ago

      finally someone see what i see now that the masters is starting more more more more tiger mania media uggggh let the man breathe i say he's in the dog house anyway.

    • Pollyannalana profile image

      Pollyannalana 

      8 years ago from US

      I'm sure it won't soon be forgotten by his family, it's not like it was a fling or two. If I were his wife, Id clean him out now and never look back.

    • Chris Eddy111 profile image

      Chris Eddy111 

      8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Hi callmefoxxy, Micky Dee. Hey, I've been away from my computer this week so that's why it's been so quiet. I wanted to say, "I'M BACK". I know you missed me.

      Stop talking 'bout Tiger Woods eh, lol.

    • callmefoxxy profile imageAUTHOR

      callmefoxxy 

      8 years ago

      @debt-into-wealth. Hi, nice to have you stop in. Glad I was able to induce a smile, but oops for the choking, lol. Yes, I too hope he kicks ass. I want to watch and snort as those same advertisers who dropped him line up to kiss his... feet, once again. Hehehe (wink)

      @Micky Dee. Whatcha doing? Been a bit busy re-learning all about this web stuff, and I bet we miss you more! :P You know you're always welcome, come in, come in... We'll be popping in to your place next any day now.

      callmefoxxy, my pen is a mighty sword!

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      8 years ago

      Whasappening? Well I miss you ladies so I'm over here knocking on the door. Ya'll take care now!

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      8 years ago

      Hey Debt-into-wealth!Thanks for the Amen on that. I think I'll go over and see what you have over at your place. I've got to tell you though- your name doesn't imply much fun. Well if you have truth you'll win me over. You ladies wait right here. I'll be back before you know I've been here (unless you're sitting on top of your computer).

    • debt-into-wealth profile image

      debt-into-wealth 

      8 years ago

      Good stuff...had me choking on my coffee!

      I'm with Micky, it's such a waste focusing on this guy with the other problems in the world. I for one will be cheering when he kicks ass next tourney, and everyone forgets this nonsense

    • callmefoxxy profile imageAUTHOR

      callmefoxxy 

      8 years ago

      @Chris Eddy111, LOL, thanks gurl! I just HAD to do it, arrrggghhh!, LOL.

      @ Micky Dee, thank you. That's exactly what this poem is supposed to get across, along with much humour. There are sooo much more important and meaningful things out there to talk about, like... (chuckle) where to find your handle, heheheeeee.

      callmefoxxy, my pen is a mighty sword!

    • Micky Dee profile image

      Micky Dee 

      8 years ago

      Great poem. Great thoughts. Great hub! We have an injustice system that's been screwing over people for what now, going on 300 years and really more. Yet Tiger is what they want to concentrate on. These press freaks and other pious jackasses ought to google- "the falsely imprisoned". They will never run out of material- they absolutely will never run out! Like they give a flip about real morality. Oh they make me so mad I could fly off a handle. Where the hell is my handle?

    • Chris Eddy111 profile image

      Chris Eddy111 

      8 years ago from Ontario, Canada

      Damn girl, that's funny and soooooo good. Don't talk to me 'bout Tiger Woods.....hahaha.

    working

    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, hubpages.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://hubpages.com/privacy-policy#gdpr

    Show Details
    Necessary
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Features
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Marketing
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Statistics
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)