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Taking a Chance on Love: How to Apply ABC's 'The Bachelorette' to Your Dating Life

Updated on January 7, 2012
Realize that dating is no bouquet of roses.
Realize that dating is no bouquet of roses. | Source
Be prepared to have a Champagne toast after every episode of "The Bachelorette."
Be prepared to have a Champagne toast after every episode of "The Bachelorette." | Source
How do you trust someone if you don't know their true agenda?
How do you trust someone if you don't know their true agenda? | Source
Are first impressions truly everything?
Are first impressions truly everything? | Source
Can you embrace someone's eccentricities to find love?
Can you embrace someone's eccentricities to find love? | Source
The roses that "The Bachelorette" would have to handle each week.
The roses that "The Bachelorette" would have to handle each week. | Source
Can a relationship survive any bad behavior that's a sign of worse things to come?
Can a relationship survive any bad behavior that's a sign of worse things to come? | Source
Can you handle Chris Harrison being your personal council?
Can you handle Chris Harrison being your personal council? | Source
Learning to take a risk.
Learning to take a risk. | Source
Embracing your foolish side to win your true love.
Embracing your foolish side to win your true love. | Source
The presumed end result of a season.
The presumed end result of a season. | Source
Learning to laugh at the silly things in life.
Learning to laugh at the silly things in life. | Source
Being silly just to relieve some stress.
Being silly just to relieve some stress. | Source

When it comes to love, most people have had better luck going on a dating website or a reality show. Finding your true love is no longer an easy task because its hard to discern whether someone's feelings are real. Most people find dating shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette a ridiculous way to meet someone, but these shows often allowed people to get out of their dating comfort zones to find Mr. Right. People just need to figure out what works for them and what doesn't.

Here are five suggestions to follow when it comes to going on your first or fifteenth date. Dating knows no actual timetable and doesn't always follows the rules. Just remember to always date responsibly before doing something that you wouldn't want to be seen on or off-camera. Read on to find out more.

Expect a few cliches and don't run away screaming. The first episode, or first date, often allowed everyone involved to get a clear picture of what was going on with someone without giving everything away. In an effort to save something for the next date. Ashley, the new Bachelorette, had to confess her mistakes from when she was on The Bachelor and what she'll be doing differently from now on. Some of what she did was intriguing while the rest has been uttered before for multiple seasons. It was hard to believe that the show wasn't scripting what she was saying.

It was also impossible to believe that all 25 men were genuinely going into the season with their hearts wide open. Hopefully, the optimism is realistic, because it makes dating in general seem rather bleak. A bachelorette must be prepared to handle a multitude of roses to hand out to each suitor meant to last another week. If you don't like flowers, you're in serious trouble or at least pretend to until the camera or date isn't close by when you toss them.

Embrace the experience and have fun with it. Sure, it may be fun to have an entire show, or a dating service, focused on your personal happiness for a while, but what happens when reality truly sets in. How can someone successfully date 25 members of the opposite sex without leaving someone out in the cold? It's not always up to the Bachelorette to make the move. It's sometimes up to the suitors to make themselves truly memorable; as long as they don't a tattoo that screamed "stalker" like last season's Casey. That action sealed his fate and sent him home for good. The limo ride introductions are a way for the suitors to make a lasting first impression, such as giving a broken compass like one contestant or opening a bottle of wine with another. Allow yourself to have a good time without drinking too much like another did and ended up getting sent home for it.

Learn to love Host Chris Harrison as your personal BFF for the season. The only true constant a Bachelorette has is Harrison's presence to give sage advice or bounce ideas off of when it comes to confronting someone being less than truthful. Harrison has been used as council of Bachelorettes Ali and Ashley when they had to decide how to handle treacherous suitors (Justin and Bentley). He tried not to sway their decisions too much, but the audience could clearly tell that he wanted them gone sooner rather than later. Sometimes his advice wasn't really helpful and occasionally wondered if what he said was genuine or for the cameras. Future Bachelorettes should trust their own judgment and sometimes take Harrison, or your version of him, with a grain of salt when it comes to matters of their own heart.

Expect to get your heart broken at least twice before the end nears. Dating, in life or a reality show, is a combat spot where people often get hurt. It's a risk that nobody can escape from, unless they abstain from dating altogether. A potential problem could arise from someone like Bentley, a suitor for this season, who is rumored to be on the show to promote his new starter business instead of finding love with Ashley. Of course, the heart break could come from a relationship that could simply go nowhere. A lover only being a friend and not a future husband. Trust your instincts before investing too much in something that's clearly not going to work out, but don't shut yourself off to avoid a relationship that could.

True love has an expiration date. Can a person find love on a reality dating show? Well, not really. The Bachelor and The Bachelorette both proved that love doesn't always survive once the cameras are off. The only survivors were Bachelorette Trista and Bachelor star Jason who ended up marrying the people they chose. Otherwise, the breakups usually happened within months of that particular season ending in a mostly quiet fashion, while others tended to be frightening spectacles.A prime example would be the rapid breakdown of former Bachelor Jake Pavelka and Vienna's relationship that concluded with an on-camera confrontation that was brutal to watch. Stay tuned to see if this Bachelorette will follow their fate.

In the end, love doesn't need a television camera or even to go outside the house to know that it's the real deal. You just need to set the rules accordingly before plunging headlong into anything serious and remember to always check with Chris Harrison, or your own version, before heading down the aisle with anyone.

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      Kimberleigh Manley Savino 

      6 years ago

      I am looking for a show or to be on this show, who accepts "the ordinary" woman. I am not skinny as a toothpick, I am an everyday woman who would like to find love. Being a cute African American woman who like Caucasian men too, I want a chance just like any other woman on these shows. Does anyone know where a woman who may have a few extra pounds, who has had children who are now grown, who is working on her own business, basically is just an ordinary woman who wants love - where can I push this idea? Who would be willing to put me on their show?

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