Things I Can No Longer Get Away With

Now in my mid thirties, I feel I'm at a strange place in life. I'm not really old, but I'm not really young either. I don't feel old and hopefully I don't act old. My goal is to be like this guy. Although I don't consider myself mature for my age, sometimes I think of things I did in my twenties and cringe. I started thinking of things I am "too old" to get away with now. Some of them I still do, some of them I've never done, and some I hope I never try.

Here's my list of things I'm too old to get away with:

Pouting- As a middle child, I used to be great at this. Pouting is a little harder to get away with nowdays. Every once in a while, I will break this out after a fight with my wife, it doesn't help my cause.

Sagging - This fad was hard to kick. Yep, I was guilty of this one for way too long. I'm not sure if it's ever acceptable. Seeing a teenager with sagging pants is bad enough, but have you ever seen a teenager's parent sagging? Sad.

Going out on a weeknight- In my twenties I would head up to the bar on a Wednesday night and have a good time on hump day. This is no longer a weekly thing. Somebody better have a really good excuse to get me out past 8pm on a weeknight.

White Sunglasses - I've never been big on these. I will say they look better on girls. I'm sorry to offend anyone but if you're over 25 and male, these are not for you.

Buying Video Games- The last video game I bought was EA Sports NCAA Football '06. I was probably too old to buy video games then. I play video games from time to time, but I'm paying a 14 year old to go in and buy it for me.

Hip Hop- I'm torn on this one. I will always love the classics. I just don't see myself buying the newest 'Lil Wayne album at my age. I don't get the newer stuff anyway. I guess we could add bassing to the list. You know, when someone has speakers in there car loud enough to shatter glass.

Wearing a football Jersey- I may be in the minority on this one, I'm just not going to spend a few hundred dollars to wear someone else's football jersey. Like I said, maybe it's just me, but if I'm spending that much money it's not going to be on clothes with numbers on them.

Texting - I've been getting better at this one but sometimes it's a lot easier to send a simple message than go through the small talk of a phone call. Even if my wife does call me a 13 year old girl. LOL ;)

Going to the Mall - Okay, maybe just the food court, but I feel like i've been frozen in time whenever I go to the mall. I usually just stare in awe at the hairstyles and trends that I don't understand. There are stores with loud, weird music blaring out of them. Pictures that are too abstract to comprehend. Somehow offensive yet politically correct at the same time. I just don't belong there.

Watching American Idol - I proudly do not watch AI. I know millions tune in, but whenever this is on with all the screaming fans, I cringe. What if these people actually cared about something that mattered? Or maybe I'm just mad I'm too old to be on the show..

Having my Dad help around the house- My Dad was in town and helped me install a new ceiling fan in my kitchen. Everyone knows I only let him help for the bonding experience. Right..you never outgrow your dad. Thanks Dad.

I feel like this has been my Walt Kowalski moment. Writing my list has made me feel older than ever, but I'm still guilty of some of these so I guess I'm not to far gone just yet. Until then, I will keep my lawn manicured, my werthers handy and my blue socks pulled high. In the meantime, please stay off my lawn.