Top Chef DC ep 8: Tiffany Has A Good Day

Andrea got eliminated last week and Kelly was so distraught that she wouldn’t have anyone to tickle fight with every night.  That’s how unforgiving this competition can be!

Just was my ears had finally recovered from the pea puree massacre last week, the discussion resurfaced.  Alex remained in denial and Ed was as “perplexed” as ever over the whole ordeal.

Tiffany’s pending nuptials in Costa Rica were brought up, only to imply that she and Ed are doing the willy nilly behind closed doors.  Puh-shah!

Marcus Samuelson, winner of Top Chef Masters , was the guest judge for the Ethiopian-inspired quickfire.   I was unaware that Ethiopian restaurants rule DC.  Fun fact of the day! 

Ed, Angelo, and Kenny were the most comfortable cooking Ethiopian food while Kelly and Amanda had never even sampled the cuisine. 

Alex continued his quest for Mr. Congeniality by nabbing the pressure cooker on the top shelf just as Kelly was reaching for it.  Good, she needs to be put in her place.  Kevin commented that Alex is the weakest competitor, which was beautifully edited with a shot of Alex clumsily trying to get the pressure cooker lid on and failing like a fool.

The cheftestants actually had an hour and a half for the quickfire, which is like 3 times the amount of time they usually get.  Kenny took that additional time and made a duo of lamb.  Then again, you could give him 5 minutes and he’d serve his protein ten ways.  He seriously needs to chill out with the duos and trios (he’s like the Octomom of Top Chef ). 

Marcus Samuelson loved Tiffany and Angelo’s dishes.  He even asked Angelo, “Are you sure you weren’t born in Ethiopia?”  However, he called Kevin’s dish “too shy” and Alex’s “too dry”—he’s a poet and didn’t know it.

Bottom:  Kevin, Stephen, Alex

Top:  Marcus thought Amanda’s food was “absolutely fantastic,” commented to Angelo, “obviously you know a lot about Ethiopian cooking,” and raved about Tiffany’s fare.

Winner:  Tiffany (Woot woot!)  She received immunity for the elimination challenge.

That musta pissed Angelo off because he thought he had it in the bag.  Ed was so happy, not only that his bestie won, but that she beat that turd, Angelo.

For the challenge, Padma revealed a map with 9 countries marked.  The chefs drew knives to determine the order they would pick the country they would use as inspiration for their dish. 

Kenny, being master of the universe, was not shaken by the international nature of this elimination challenge.  He’s comfortable making food from any country (and probably a few planets as well), so it didn’t matter to him what number he drew.  Angelo was equally unintimidated because he exposed to all sorts of foods as a child.  Apparently, his mother wanted him to have a trained palate and put his tiny taste buds through international food boot camp.  While other kids were eating mac and cheese, little Angelo was gnawing on squid and monkey brains.  Totally normal. 

Tiffany was having the Best. Day. Ever. and pulled knife #1.  She selected Mexico and made tamales.  Kelly chose Italy and made a cold beef Carpaccio since the challenge dictated that they would not have access to heat after food prep.  It worked out for her because the Italian dude gave her props for her dish. 

Ed selected China, and made a creepy comment about how he’s had some Chinese girlfriends in the past (the one he shared with Angelo, perhaps?).  Why does he always bring up his sexual prowess?  It’s disturbing and nauseating.

Stephen, who got stuck with Brazil, used canned black beans—didn’t the judges just bitch at someone for that 2 weeks ago?  It didn’t matter because Tom was distracted by his overcooked rice.

Watching these people in the kitchen makes me wonder how much chef sweat I have unknowingly consumed in my life. 

Alex did a face plant in the kitchen and nobody asked if he was ok.  Jerks.  Jose Andreas, one of the guest judges, hails from Spain which did not intimidate Alex (who chose Spain) in the least.  Too bad Jose could not have been less impressed by Alex’s dish.  Kevin, on the other hand, hadn’t ever made Indian food before and was terrified of serving it to Padma—she ended up loving his food.  

Amanda went on and on about how she’s crazy confident in making French food, until it was time to serve her dish.  Don’t talk a big game and then fall flat on your face, clown. 

Angelo chose Japan (shocker!), and the Spanish representative (I didn’t catch if he was an ambassador or what) loved the cut of fish—it was “so pretty.” 

It looked like Tiffany might be in some trouble because she was still chopping while everyone else was putting out their plates, but the judges loved her tamales.  Everything was authentic and delicious—it tasted like Mexico.  Hopefully it didn’t have the same effects as Mexican water.  Yikes.  

Kenny chose Thailand and the judges loved his grub.  They described it as the perfect balance between spicy and muted (they were smiling when they were eating it so I took that as a compliment).

Angelo, being the mature, sophisticated man that he is, put the plastic wrap on the toilet before Stephen used the bathroom.  Apparently, good ol’ Steve had been hitting the adult beverages pretty hard that particular evening and did not notice the plastic wrap until the moisture flew back and hit his man-bulbs.   They couldn’t stop laughing about it.  Frat-house living for the cheftestants!

Top:  Kelly, Kevin, Tiffany

Kevin’s combination of spicy and cool was “brilliant.”  Jose thought Kelly’s simplicity “honored that Carpaccio.” 

Winner:   Tiffany continued her streak and won $10,000 for tamales!  That money is gonna get her out of wedding debt before the big day even occurs.  Bangin.  In addition, Top Chef donated $10,000 to Jose’s favorite DC charity.  Pretty bombtastic.

Bottom:  Alex, Stephen, Ed

Is Stephen 2 feet tall?  Not judging, just asking. The judges thought his idea was good, but the rice was a mess.   Don’t f-up the basics, yo.

Alex went from the top last week, straight to the bottom.  He got harsh criticism from Jose with, “It was like a little nightmare,” and Tom’s comment, “Nothing reminded me of Spain, nothing at all.”  Ouch.

Ed was embarrassed to be on the bottom with Alex, but he needed to worry about his own crappy performance.

Eliminated:  Stephen

Stephen exited with class (and some poor grammar) by saying, “It was a honor to be a part of the process.”

"We don’t have a lot of Ethiopian restaurants in Dallas, Texas or Houston…and definitely not Beaumont.”-Tiffany

“I’m not your wife, baby”-Tiffany

“You over-promised and under-delivered”-Jose to Ed 

“He wasn’t good enough to bring those flavors together”-Tom (about Alex)

Tiffany (She always has the best quotes—love her!)

Kenny

Angelo

Kelly

Ed

Amanda

John

Jacqueline

Tracey

Arnold

Lynne

Timothy

Tamesha

Andrea

Stephen