Wacky Advice for Your Perfectly Wacky Predicaments

You can pose your wacky (or serious) questions; don't expect a serious answer no matter what. Two experts in the field of World Wackyness and Wacked World Wearyness (TheGlassSpider and Mega1) will respond and perhaps debate the best solution for you. Then, whichever advice you choose to use, or not use, we expect you to report back and let us know how it all turned out. However, we must print the following disclaimer here:

Any wacky advice you receive from Glass Spider and/or Mega 1 can be utilized free of charge. This is a free service to the public and especially Hubbers who live in their own fantasy world where it is necessary to ask for advice at least once every day. No claims are made by the wacky advice experts for success in the solution of any problem you have, real or imagined. The perpetrators of this advice cannot be held responsible for any failure or accidental death or dismemberment which may occur as a result of following their directions. In other words, ask questions and receive advice at your own risk. If you don't think these wacky questions and advice are, useful, or accurate, or even funny don't blame us, we're barely grown up, let alone responsible for anything we say or write.

And now for our first question from Justine76:

Justine asked:

“What should I do when my husband gets soooooo tired of my questions when he’s trying to fall asleep after working 10 hours and then ‘killing enemy soldiers’ for another 6?”

Our answers:

TheGlassSpider:

Don’t have a husband. After you have sex, eat his head. He won’t be tired anymore, and you can find another mate who WILL listen to your questions long enough to get you in bed; you both can have a great time, and then the cycle can begin again. Good luck!

Mega1:

No, No, No! That is the most useless advice I’ve ever heard, and I have heard some very useless advice in my day! GS, we aren’t talking about spiders ALL the time! This is called MURDER! MURDER! We’re talking about humans and humans have laws they have to follow. No murdering in human world. Absolutely not. I have much better advice for Justine76:

I’m suggesting she try the old sex cure - new lingerie, candles, aromas wafting across the room, soft music.

But if that doesn’t get his attention, perhaps use of the kids as a hostages, feeding them candy, hotdogs, sodas and even a near-beer or two until the husband gives in and listens.

Or have you tried the shopping solution? Spend the tax refund that you all were saving for the kids' college education.

Or call up some old boyfriend and flirt with him over the speakerphone.

You could also try staying up all night cleaning and talking to yourself, although this has been known to backfire and you find yourself at dawn on a psycho ward.

Whatever you do, violence is never a good answer, although there are occasions when it will work, this is not one of those occasions.

TheGlassSpider:

What?! No murdering in the human world? Why, you people do it all the time—as do we. At least we spiders are honest about it. I assure you, my sex cure is the older of the two—when one mate has served his purpose, you need to move on. And what is it with you humans keeping children so long? It’s as though you’d like to keep them forever. We spiders let them go once they’re out in the world.

I cannot comment on the shopping…I’ve no idea what you mean by that. A friend of mine tried to explain tax refunds to me. It seemed to me that people were simply passing an imaginary thing back and forth. Of course, I’m just a spider…you guys got the big brains.

Keep it simple, I say; eat his head. Spare yourself the headache. Males are only good for one thing; that’s why it’s the only thing they think about. You’re doing him a favor as well as yourself.

Mega1:

Glass Spider, you have got to be kidding! If she were going to eat some part of him, to be sure it wouldn’t be his head! This is such a grizzly scene you paint. Simple is not always better. Sometimes getting real complicated is just the trick! So I'm sayin' pick several of the options I outlined above and try them all. Like, first go shopping for the new expensive lingerie, then do the sex scene, and then hold the kids hostage forcng them to eat some-mores and cheetos and cokes. I can't guarantee he'll listen and respond, but you'll have a lot of fun!

Good luck to you Justine! We think if you will just listen to us, you can still save your relationship!

Don’t forget to report back, we keep track of the results, you know!

and REMEMBER! You too can be part of the WACKINESS!!

Ask a wacky question for our next Wacky Advice hub by posting your question in the comments below, or post it on the forum “Wacky Questions” thread. If you follow either Mega1 or TheGlassSpider you will automatically be informed when the next advice hub is published. We will also inform you in the Wacky Questions thread. Please refrain from questions about x-rated subjects, overt erotica, or violence (at least not here, wink). We can and will report you if you get crazy and use bad words, etc. The normal HubPages rules will apply, even though . . . we may not be . . .you know, normal.

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