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What Your Target Purchases Say About You

Updated on August 28, 2012
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing online for over 10 years. She covers a wide variety of topics - hobbies, opinions, dating advice, and more!

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Attention Target Shoppers!

Recently there was a big fuss over Target and how it tracks customer purchases. Target has ways of saving information about you, even if you are not using their credit card or debit card. If you typically use the same credit card or debit card each time you shop, Target knows you! Target compiles a list of items you buy when you shop at their store. Based on this list, Target is able to give you "personalized coupons" while at the store once you check out. Have you ever had the cashier hand coupons to you with your receipt? Yes, Target has been watching you! Your purchases say something about you and Target is monitoring your every move.

The article that brought a lot of attention to this matter was about a teenage girl receiving coupons for baby products in the mail. Yes, Target can even figure out your address based on your credit card billing address. Welcome to the scary world of big brother watching your every move! At any rate, this teenage girl had purchased items that Target had researched and determined pregnant women were most likely to buy. I mean, obviously if a woman is buying a pregnancy test and maternity tops, it is kind of a no-brainer that she is having a baby. However, Target has really narrowed this down and even figured out buying more lotion can indicate a pregnancy. So basically, Target kindly sent the girl coupons for baby items and her father flipped out. He complained to Target about sending this type of thing to a teenager, only to apologize shortly after when his daughter admitted she was pregnant. Wow, Target knew she was pregnant before her own father!

I've been putting a lot of thought into this matter and I've decided Target could also utilize this amazing stalking ability for other types of customers. After all, your Target purchases say a lot about you as a person. So why shouldn't Target cash in on other types of folks? As Target tracks (or targets!) everyone more each day, let's discuss what your Target purchases really say about you.

Customer List #1

  • Slim Fast
  • Green tea
  • Salads
  • Fruits
  • Vegetables
  • Work out clothing
  • "Jillian Michaels: 30 Day Shred" on DVD
  • Running shoes

Purchases a week later...

  • Twinkies
  • Bag of Reese's peanut butter cups
  • Ice cream
  • T-shirts
  • Soda
  • Ridiculous romance novel
  • Kleenex tissues

Type of customer: Failed Dieter

Target should send some coupons to this person for jeans that add a "slimming effect" and perhaps a coupon for Diet Coke. After all, this minor setback doesn't have to mean a total fail. So wipe those tears away, Failed Dieter. You can lose that weight with that Jillian Michaels DVD in no time! Perhaps some coupons for some other Biggest Loser workouts would be best. Jillian is a little too tough on everyone.

Customer List #2

  • Large trash bags
  • Shovel
  • Bleach
  • Paper towels
  • Gloves
  • Ski Mask
  • Duct tape
  • Set of knives

Type of customer: Serial Killer

In this situation, Target might want to alert the authorities. However, it is hard for any business to say "no" to a customer. In this case, some coupons for some Clorox Wipes or perhaps some dark sunglasses might be the best idea. I mean, how do we know this person doesn't work out in the yard a lot and have the need to keep a clean bathroom? You never know.

By the way, if you see a person in line behind you at Target buying these items, RUN!!!

Customer List #3

  • Crayons
  • Coloring books
  • Stickers
  • Magic markers
  • Poster board
  • Daiquiri mix
  • "Bad Teacher" on DVD
  • Red Bull

Type of customer: Tired Teacher

This poor customer has been listening to bratty kids all day long. She is looking forward to getting her drink on tonight to wash away the annoying children's voices in her head. It has been a long day and she's had just about enough. A tired teacher might just appreciate coupons for a cute outfit, shoes, or something to take her mind off teaching. Coupons for sleeping pills might also be nice so she can get a good night's sleep instead of waking up throughout the night to remember her thankless work day. However, she might just give those sleeping pills to the most annoying kids in class, so maybe Target should hold off on those coupons.

Customer List #4

  • Doritos
  • Cheetos
  • Fun Dip
  • Ding Dongs
  • Lava lamp
  • Kool Aid
  • "Napoleon Dynamite" DVD
  • Eye drops

Type of customer: Stoner

Wow, it is starting to get easy to recognize illegal activity with these Target purchases. Let's not even discuss what it means when a customer keeps buying cold medicine. At any rate, for the customer that might be smoking something not-so-legal, this customer would totally appreciate some coupons for some Cheech & Chong DVDs and more food. People with the munchies are totally going to be some of the best grocery shopping customers. Sure, they may not even make it to the fresh fruit section, but leave that stuff to the dieting crowd.

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Apply This To Your Own Life!

You see how easy this is? Now you can apply this activity to your own life. You can look at your Target purchases and decide what those items say about you. Do you buy a lot of toilet paper, yet live alone? Target knows you have a frequent upset stomach! Maybe they will give you Pepto Bismal coupons the next time you shop. Do you return clothing all the time and buy a size bigger each time? Target knows you are seriously in denial about your weight gain. You are totally going to get some coupons for workout equipment soon! Have you been buying hair color to cover up those grey hairs that are starting to come in? Look out! Target will be giving you anti-wrinkle cream coupons soon.

Naturally, we could all get upset about this and freak out over the lack of privacy. However, it is not going to change anything. If you don't want Target and other stores stalking you, you are going to have to use only cash, never sign up for loyalty programs, and never have anything shipped to your home. Big brother is watching you! So you may as well laugh at this hub rather than really think about how much they actually know about you at any given time.

Copyright ©2012 Jeannieinabottle

Somebody is watching you...

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