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Funny stories about computers

Updated on November 4, 2008
Photo by deziner02 @ www.sxc.hu
Photo by deziner02 @ www.sxc.hu

This time I choose computers because it is something we all use daily and also because they can be fun sometimes (at least when they are not crashing :D).

If any of you experience any kind of difficulties understanding this stories please contact the people from helpdesk (see below).

Observations and phrases on Computers and Internet...

  • "Can you tell the difference between Windows and a virus software? The only difference is that the virus will work fine."
  • "Keep your CPU virgin: Don´t take the Hymen.sys file"
  • "Goofy uses the keyboard. Mickey, the mouse!"
  • "I would like to create homepages but I don´t know what would they eat."
  • "We never forget the first phone bill after the modem."
  • "Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going? Can We Have Internet Access Over There?"
  • "Buy a modem: find new friends and lose your wife."
  • "Internet access it´s like toilet paper: always ends when you need it the most!"

Photo by ihedgehog @ www.sxc.hu
Photo by ihedgehog @ www.sxc.hu

Damaged car

Four engineers were traveling in the car when it fails. Each engineer gave his suggestion:

Mechanical Engineer: - "I am sure the gearbox must be broken."

Chemical engineer: - "I do not agree. The issue is in the composition of the fuel."

Electrical engineer: - "You are both wrong! The battery is exhausted."

Computer Engineer: - "What if we get out of the car and then enter again!?"

Male or female?

Did you know that computers are females? The theory is based on the following principles:

1. The minute you get a new one a better one will come along;

2. No one can understand their logic apart from the Creator;

3. The language they use among themselves it is impossible to be understood;

4. It is difficult to understand any of their messages;

5. After purchasing a computer you´ll spend half of your salary in accessories.

Photo by juliaf @ www.sxc.hu
Photo by juliaf @ www.sxc.hu

Hell on Hearth...

Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven. He is received by St. Peter:

- "Unfortunately heaven it´s not as good as you thought when you were on Earth. Here we must work hard and you will be responsible for all our Information Technology department."

- "That´s wonderful!" Reply Bill.

- "Two and a half million computers connected to our network..."

- "But that is also wonderful! I know everything about MS Windows OS."

- "...Macintosh!"

- "What? Macintosh!? It means that you have not even a Windows´ running PC around here?"

- "Thanks to our Host every PC's running Windows are in hell!"

Very funny medieval Norwegian helpdesk...

Comments

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    • profile image

      dehrt 7 years ago

      sooooooooooooooooooo ffffuuuunnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • funride profile image
      Author

      Ricardo Nunes 8 years ago from Portugal

      Thanks for commenting ;)

      Hey LondonGirl, I loved your quote. And it´s really true ;)

    • LondonGirl profile image

      LondonGirl 8 years ago from London

      To err is human. To really screw up, you need a computer....

    • profile image

      Maria 8 years ago

      Cool humor about computers! :)

    • funride profile image
      Author

      Ricardo Nunes 8 years ago from Portugal

      Hey Blondepoet, I´m glad you enjoyed it. Don´t forget to share that joke with us as soon as you remember it ;)

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 8 years ago from australia

      Really refreshing up,it made me think of a great computer joke I received but I have already forgotten it haha. Damn it.When I remember I will come back here and share it with you lol.I am hopeless remembering a good gag even though I just love hearing them

    • funride profile image
      Author

      Ricardo Nunes 9 years ago from Portugal

      Thank you both for your nice comments. I´m glad you enjoyed it ;)

    • Rookie Expert profile image

      Rookie Expert 9 years ago from US

      "Keep your CPU virgin: Don´t take the Hymen.sys file" "Goofy uses the keyboard. Mickey, the mouse!"

      But the best one was internet access! Funny stuff.

    • quensday profile image

      quensday 9 years ago from New York

      Hello funride, these are good jokes :) I liked the engineer bit

    • funride profile image
      Author

      Ricardo Nunes 9 years ago from Portugal

      You´re right Adam, at least in this case and only if one doesn´t understand Norwegian LOL

    • profile image

      Adam York 9 years ago

      Some how comedy seems funnier with subtitles (-:

    • funride profile image
      Author

      Ricardo Nunes 9 years ago from Portugal

      Compu-smart, I´m glad it´s just a joke :D

      Dumbledore, Thank you so much for your comments.

      Karen, I´m glad to hear that, it was my intention ;)

      dayzeebee, thanks for your words. I always try to have fun in everything I do, and if I can share some fun with others even better ;) . I´m having lots of fun being your fan :D

    • dayzeebee profile image

      dayzeebee 9 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      LOL now i know why you call yourself Funride... thanks for the fun and the ride...now i'm a fan of a fun.

    • Dumbledore profile image

      Dumbledore 9 years ago from Somewhere in Ohio

      Love the car story.

    • Karen Ellis profile image

      Karen Ellis 9 years ago from Central Oregon

      Very funny hub!

    • Dumbledore profile image

      Dumbledore 9 years ago from Somewhere in Ohio

      Printers now cost next to nothing. I paid less than $25 for my current printer. The ink cartridges cost over $30 each, however.

    • compu-smart profile image

      compu-smart 9 years ago from London UK

      lmao, no!! its a joke lol!

    • funride profile image
      Author

      Ricardo Nunes 9 years ago from Portugal

      LOL. Thank you all for your nice comments.

      Compu-smart - That´s a good one :D . Is that a joke or it really happened to you!? :P

      Gawn Fishin´ - I don´t know what "e" are you talking about :P . I only have a little fox with fire on its tail :D

    • Gawn Fishin' profile image

      Gawn Fishin' 9 years ago from Vancouver, BC

      Very Funny! I recognise the help desk video. There was a time I didn't know what that big 'e' was there for.

    • compu-smart profile image

      compu-smart 9 years ago from London UK

      Another daily dose of Laughter medicine..

      Heres something very small in return..

      You know when your a PC geek is when you spend a whole plane trip with your laptop on your lap and your kid in the overhead compartment!

    • trimecks profile image

      trimecks 9 years ago from Portugal

      top laugh :)

    • Bueller's Way profile image

      Bueller's Way 9 years ago from Massachussetts

      Finally, someone else trying to bring a little humor to hubpages. Women like computers? Yep, thats about right.

    • funride profile image
      Author

      Ricardo Nunes 9 years ago from Portugal

      LOL, it´s a great feeling to know that everyone laugh with this hub. Laughing it´s really the best health tonic. Thank you all for the comments ;)

    • Lifebydesign profile image

      Lifebydesign 9 years ago from Australia

      lol! These are good funride, thanks. :-)

    • robie2 profile image

      Roberta Kyle 9 years ago from Central New Jersey

      ROTFL--love that medevil helpdesk vid and the Bill Gates jokes but hmmmmm I thought computers were male--nevermind:-)

    • cgull8m profile image

      cgull8m 9 years ago from North Carolina

      Hilarious Funride, all these are classic especially the computers are female, :)

    • funride profile image
      Author

      Ricardo Nunes 9 years ago from Portugal

      I don´t know... But I warn you about her expected short life. After 1 or 2 years you´ll be looking for a new one so you better keep her as girlfriend just in case ;D . Maybe one day we´ll be able to have long-lasting relations with computers...

    • guidebaba profile image

      guidebaba 9 years ago from India

      Can I Get married to this Girl?????

    • funride profile image
      Author

      Ricardo Nunes 9 years ago from Portugal

      Hi Bob, is there better way to start the day!? ;)

      TetonRose - Thanks for commenting, I hope your friends become less sober after reading it :D

    • TetonRose profile image

      TetonRose 9 years ago from Utah

      This was really fun! I laughed and laughed. I just have to share this with some of my "too sober" friends!

      Thanks,

      TetonRose

    • Bob Ewing profile image

      Bob Ewing 9 years ago from New Brunswick

      A laugh to start the morning, thanks. :)

    • funride profile image
      Author

      Ricardo Nunes 9 years ago from Portugal

      I´m so happy to have made three lovely ladies smiled and I can just imagine how beautiful you are when you´re smiling ;)

      cvaughn570 - Thanks, It´s great to see you smiling ;)

      Michelle - I´m so glad you like it :)

      Nana - Thank you so much for your comment but specially for the digg ;)

    • LdsNana-AskMormon profile image

      Kathryn Skaggs 9 years ago from Southern California

      This is such a great hub! Thanks for putting things in proper perspective for all of us..

      tDMg

      LdsNana-AskMormom

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 9 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Funride, thanks for the laughter :)

    • profile image

      cvaughn570 9 years ago

      Very cute hub! Brought a smile to my face:-)

    • funride profile image
      Author

      Ricardo Nunes 9 years ago from Portugal

      I´m so glad everyone is having fun with it. It´s very rewarding to read all your nice comments, thanks ;)

    • Zsuzsy Bee profile image

      Zsuzsy Bee 9 years ago from Ontario/Canada

      Very very funny! great hub Funride.

      regards Zsuzsy

    • Peter M. Lopez profile image

      Peter M. Lopez 9 years ago from Sweetwater, TX

      Too funny Mr. Mayor.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 9 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Very funny my dear especially the female edition...ummmm . Have a good day. G-Ma :o)hugs

    • cflynn profile image

      cflynn 9 years ago from Ireland

      Funny,...To err is human...to really **** up requires a computer!!

    • funride profile image
      Author

      Ricardo Nunes 9 years ago from Portugal

      LOL, thank you for coming back after that black out, B.T. Evilpants.

    • B.T. Evilpants profile image

      B.T. Evilpants 9 years ago from Hell, MI

      Funny! My internet access went down the first time I tried to read this hub. Irony?

    • funride profile image
      Author

      Ricardo Nunes 9 years ago from Portugal

      Trsmd - Now that you know you better be careful :D

      Rodney - I´m glad you enjoyed it, it´s not easy at such early hour ;)

      Hi Tayler, thank you for passing by and commenting ;)

      Peter - Thank you, it´s great to know it helped lightening up your day ;)

    • pjdscott profile image

      pjdscott 9 years ago from Durham, UK

      These are really funny and thanks for brightening up my morning!

    • Tater2tot profile image

      Tater2tot 9 years ago from ~~~

      Haha. Very cute. I like the Goofy and Micky Mouse one.

      Tayler!

    • Just_Rodney profile image

      Rodney Fagan 9 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City

      If all else fails, save your files, and reboot.

      Great start to my day 05H45 here

    • Trsmd profile image

      Trsmd 9 years ago from India

      I am daily using female(!) to reach hubpages..?