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Funny stories about computers

Updated on November 4, 2008
Photo by deziner02 @ www.sxc.hu
Photo by deziner02 @ www.sxc.hu

This time I choose computers because it is something we all use daily and also because they can be fun sometimes (at least when they are not crashing :D).

If any of you experience any kind of difficulties understanding this stories please contact the people from helpdesk (see below).

Observations and phrases on Computers and Internet...

  • "Can you tell the difference between Windows and a virus software? The only difference is that the virus will work fine."
  • "Keep your CPU virgin: Don´t take the Hymen.sys file"
  • "Goofy uses the keyboard. Mickey, the mouse!"
  • "I would like to create homepages but I don´t know what would they eat."
  • "We never forget the first phone bill after the modem."
  • "Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going? Can We Have Internet Access Over There?"
  • "Buy a modem: find new friends and lose your wife."
  • "Internet access it´s like toilet paper: always ends when you need it the most!"

Photo by ihedgehog @ www.sxc.hu
Photo by ihedgehog @ www.sxc.hu

Damaged car

Four engineers were traveling in the car when it fails. Each engineer gave his suggestion:

Mechanical Engineer: - "I am sure the gearbox must be broken."

Chemical engineer: - "I do not agree. The issue is in the composition of the fuel."

Electrical engineer: - "You are both wrong! The battery is exhausted."

Computer Engineer: - "What if we get out of the car and then enter again!?"

Male or female?

Did you know that computers are females? The theory is based on the following principles:

1. The minute you get a new one a better one will come along;

2. No one can understand their logic apart from the Creator;

3. The language they use among themselves it is impossible to be understood;

4. It is difficult to understand any of their messages;

5. After purchasing a computer you´ll spend half of your salary in accessories.

Photo by juliaf @ www.sxc.hu
Photo by juliaf @ www.sxc.hu

Hell on Hearth...

Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven. He is received by St. Peter:

- "Unfortunately heaven it´s not as good as you thought when you were on Earth. Here we must work hard and you will be responsible for all our Information Technology department."

- "That´s wonderful!" Reply Bill.

- "Two and a half million computers connected to our network..."

- "But that is also wonderful! I know everything about MS Windows OS."

- "...Macintosh!"

- "What? Macintosh!? It means that you have not even a Windows´ running PC around here?"

- "Thanks to our Host every PC's running Windows are in hell!"

Very funny medieval Norwegian helpdesk...

Comments

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    • profile image

      dehrt 

      8 years ago

      sooooooooooooooooooo ffffuuuunnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • funride profile imageAUTHOR

      Ricardo Nunes 

      9 years ago from Portugal

      Thanks for commenting ;)

      Hey LondonGirl, I loved your quote. And it´s really true ;)

    • LondonGirl profile image

      LondonGirl 

      9 years ago from London

      To err is human. To really screw up, you need a computer....

    • profile image

      Maria 

      9 years ago

      Cool humor about computers! :)

    • funride profile imageAUTHOR

      Ricardo Nunes 

      9 years ago from Portugal

      Hey Blondepoet, I´m glad you enjoyed it. Don´t forget to share that joke with us as soon as you remember it ;)

    • blondepoet profile image

      blondepoet 

      9 years ago from australia

      Really refreshing up,it made me think of a great computer joke I received but I have already forgotten it haha. Damn it.When I remember I will come back here and share it with you lol.I am hopeless remembering a good gag even though I just love hearing them

    • funride profile imageAUTHOR

      Ricardo Nunes 

      10 years ago from Portugal

      Thank you both for your nice comments. I´m glad you enjoyed it ;)

    • Rookie Expert profile image

      Rookie Expert 

      10 years ago from US

      "Keep your CPU virgin: Don´t take the Hymen.sys file" "Goofy uses the keyboard. Mickey, the mouse!"

      But the best one was internet access! Funny stuff.

    • quensday profile image

      quensday 

      10 years ago from New York

      Hello funride, these are good jokes :) I liked the engineer bit

    • funride profile imageAUTHOR

      Ricardo Nunes 

      10 years ago from Portugal

      You´re right Adam, at least in this case and only if one doesn´t understand Norwegian LOL

    • profile image

      Adam York 

      10 years ago

      Some how comedy seems funnier with subtitles (-:

    • funride profile imageAUTHOR

      Ricardo Nunes 

      10 years ago from Portugal

      Compu-smart, I´m glad it´s just a joke :D

      Dumbledore, Thank you so much for your comments.

      Karen, I´m glad to hear that, it was my intention ;)

      dayzeebee, thanks for your words. I always try to have fun in everything I do, and if I can share some fun with others even better ;) . I´m having lots of fun being your fan :D

    • dayzeebee profile image

      dayzeebee 

      10 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      LOL now i know why you call yourself Funride... thanks for the fun and the ride...now i'm a fan of a fun.

    • Dumbledore profile image

      This Old Guy 

      10 years ago from Somewhere in Ohio

      Love the car story.

    • Karen Ellis profile image

      Karen Ellis 

      10 years ago from Central Oregon

      Very funny hub!

    • Dumbledore profile image

      This Old Guy 

      10 years ago from Somewhere in Ohio

      Printers now cost next to nothing. I paid less than $25 for my current printer. The ink cartridges cost over $30 each, however.

    • compu-smart profile image

      Compu-Smart 

      10 years ago from London UK

      lmao, no!! its a joke lol!

    • funride profile imageAUTHOR

      Ricardo Nunes 

      10 years ago from Portugal

      LOL. Thank you all for your nice comments.

      Compu-smart - That´s a good one :D . Is that a joke or it really happened to you!? :P

      Gawn Fishin´ - I don´t know what "e" are you talking about :P . I only have a little fox with fire on its tail :D

    • Gawn Fishin' profile image

      Gawn Fishin' 

      10 years ago from Vancouver, BC

      Very Funny! I recognise the help desk video. There was a time I didn't know what that big 'e' was there for.

    • compu-smart profile image

      Compu-Smart 

      10 years ago from London UK

      Another daily dose of Laughter medicine..

      Heres something very small in return..

      You know when your a PC geek is when you spend a whole plane trip with your laptop on your lap and your kid in the overhead compartment!

    • trimecks profile image

      trimecks 

      10 years ago from Portugal

      top laugh :)

    • Bueller's Way profile image

      Bueller's Way 

      10 years ago from Massachussetts

      Finally, someone else trying to bring a little humor to hubpages. Women like computers? Yep, thats about right.

    • funride profile imageAUTHOR

      Ricardo Nunes 

      10 years ago from Portugal

      LOL, it´s a great feeling to know that everyone laugh with this hub. Laughing it´s really the best health tonic. Thank you all for the comments ;)

    • Lifebydesign profile image

      Lifebydesign 

      10 years ago from Australia

      lol! These are good funride, thanks. :-)

    • robie2 profile image

      Roberta Kyle 

      10 years ago from Central New Jersey

      ROTFL--love that medevil helpdesk vid and the Bill Gates jokes but hmmmmm I thought computers were male--nevermind:-)

    • cgull8m profile image

      cgull8m 

      10 years ago from North Carolina

      Hilarious Funride, all these are classic especially the computers are female, :)

    • funride profile imageAUTHOR

      Ricardo Nunes 

      10 years ago from Portugal

      I don´t know... But I warn you about her expected short life. After 1 or 2 years you´ll be looking for a new one so you better keep her as girlfriend just in case ;D . Maybe one day we´ll be able to have long-lasting relations with computers...

    • guidebaba profile image

      guidebaba 

      10 years ago from India

      Can I Get married to this Girl?????

    • funride profile imageAUTHOR

      Ricardo Nunes 

      10 years ago from Portugal

      Hi Bob, is there better way to start the day!? ;)

      TetonRose - Thanks for commenting, I hope your friends become less sober after reading it :D

    • TetonRose profile image

      TetonRose 

      10 years ago from Utah

      This was really fun! I laughed and laughed. I just have to share this with some of my "too sober" friends!

      Thanks,

      TetonRose

    • Bob Ewing profile image

      Bob Ewing 

      10 years ago from New Brunswick

      A laugh to start the morning, thanks. :)

    • funride profile imageAUTHOR

      Ricardo Nunes 

      10 years ago from Portugal

      I´m so happy to have made three lovely ladies smiled and I can just imagine how beautiful you are when you´re smiling ;)

      cvaughn570 - Thanks, It´s great to see you smiling ;)

      Michelle - I´m so glad you like it :)

      Nana - Thank you so much for your comment but specially for the digg ;)

    • LdsNana-AskMormon profile image

      Kathryn Skaggs 

      10 years ago from Southern California

      This is such a great hub! Thanks for putting things in proper perspective for all of us..

      tDMg

      LdsNana-AskMormom

    • ripplemaker profile image

      Michelle Simtoco 

      10 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

      Funride, thanks for the laughter :)

    • profile image

      cvaughn570 

      10 years ago

      Very cute hub! Brought a smile to my face:-)

    • funride profile imageAUTHOR

      Ricardo Nunes 

      10 years ago from Portugal

      I´m so glad everyone is having fun with it. It´s very rewarding to read all your nice comments, thanks ;)

    • Zsuzsy Bee profile image

      Zsuzsy Bee 

      10 years ago from Ontario/Canada

      Very very funny! great hub Funride.

      regards Zsuzsy

    • Peter M. Lopez profile image

      Peter M. Lopez 

      10 years ago from Sweetwater, TX

      Too funny Mr. Mayor.

    • G-Ma Johnson profile image

      Merle Ann Johnson 

      10 years ago from NW in the land of the Free

      Very funny my dear especially the female edition...ummmm . Have a good day. G-Ma :o)hugs

    • cflynn profile image

      cflynn 

      10 years ago from Ireland

      Funny,...To err is human...to really **** up requires a computer!!

    • funride profile imageAUTHOR

      Ricardo Nunes 

      10 years ago from Portugal

      LOL, thank you for coming back after that black out, B.T. Evilpants.

    • B.T. Evilpants profile image

      B.T. Evilpants 

      10 years ago from Hell, MI

      Funny! My internet access went down the first time I tried to read this hub. Irony?

    • funride profile imageAUTHOR

      Ricardo Nunes 

      10 years ago from Portugal

      Trsmd - Now that you know you better be careful :D

      Rodney - I´m glad you enjoyed it, it´s not easy at such early hour ;)

      Hi Tayler, thank you for passing by and commenting ;)

      Peter - Thank you, it´s great to know it helped lightening up your day ;)

    • pjdscott profile image

      pjdscott 

      10 years ago from Durham, UK

      These are really funny and thanks for brightening up my morning!

    • Tater2tot profile image

      Tater2tot 

      10 years ago from ~~~

      Haha. Very cute. I like the Goofy and Micky Mouse one.

      Tayler!

    • Just_Rodney profile image

      Rodney Fagan 

      10 years ago from Johannesberg South Africa, The Gold Mine City

      If all else fails, save your files, and reboot.

      Great start to my day 05H45 here

    • Trsmd profile image

      Trsmd 

      10 years ago from India

      I am daily using female(!) to reach hubpages..?

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