Funny stories about computers

This time I choose computers because it is something we all use daily and also because they can be fun sometimes (at least when they are not crashing :D).

If any of you experience any kind of difficulties understanding this stories please contact the people from helpdesk (see below).

• "Can you tell the difference between Windows and a virus software? The only difference is that the virus will work fine."
• "Keep your CPU virgin: Don´t take the Hymen.sys file"
• "Goofy uses the keyboard. Mickey, the mouse!"
• "I would like to create homepages but I don´t know what would they eat."
• "We never forget the first phone bill after the modem."
• "Where Do We Come From? What Are We? Where Are We Going? Can We Have Internet Access Over There?"
• "Buy a modem: find new friends and lose your wife."
• "Internet access it´s like toilet paper: always ends when you need it the most!"

Four engineers were traveling in the car when it fails. Each engineer gave his suggestion:

Mechanical Engineer: - "I am sure the gearbox must be broken."

Chemical engineer: - "I do not agree. The issue is in the composition of the fuel."

Electrical engineer: - "You are both wrong! The battery is exhausted."

Computer Engineer: - "What if we get out of the car and then enter again!?"

Did you know that computers are females? The theory is based on the following principles:

1. The minute you get a new one a better one will come along;

2. No one can understand their logic apart from the Creator;

3. The language they use among themselves it is impossible to be understood;

4. It is difficult to understand any of their messages;

5. After purchasing a computer you´ll spend half of your salary in accessories.

• Other computer jokes
• Over 100 Funny Clean Jokes by stephhicks68

Bill Gates dies and goes to heaven. He is received by St. Peter:

- "Unfortunately heaven it´s not as good as you thought when you were on Earth. Here we must work hard and you will be responsible for all our Information Technology department."

- "That´s wonderful!" Reply Bill.

- "Two and a half million computers connected to our network..."

- "But that is also wonderful! I know everything about MS Windows OS."

- "...Macintosh!"

- "What? Macintosh!? It means that you have not even a Windows´ running PC around here?"

- "Thanks to our Host every PC's running Windows are in hell!"