ArtsAutosBooksBusinessEducationEntertainmentFamilyFashionFoodGamesGenderHealthHolidaysHomeHubPagesPersonal FinancePetsPoliticsReligionSportsTechnologyTravel

iPhone 7 images and specification revealed!

Updated on March 13, 2013

Please note that this is supposed to be a comedy related Hub and in no way is it a fact. Mind you, knowing Apple they could implement some of these suggestions in which case I'm claiming copyright on it just now ;)

The new iPhone 7 will be here shortly, so just what exactly will be included in this latest model? Luckily, I've managed to get my hands on some as yet unreleased spec sheets for the device. Let's have a look at them:

  1. It'll have 4 cameras in it so that you can take 3D photos on it either using the front or back. Sadly, you'll need to buy glasses when viewing said 3D content, so you'll look like a spanner walking down the street.
  2. It'll have a much more advanced GPS chip in it. This serves for two purposes. The first will allow you to call on the Apple fanboys by launching the Apple logo into the sky (think of Batman) whenever you hear someone slag off the iPhone. The resulting fanboys will badger the complainer constantly on how an expensive piece of shit really is worth it. However, this GPS unit also used to instil fear into users that dare slag off the iPhone. If it detects that you personal are moaning about it, it'll launch the fanboy alert without your consent, again leading to them badgering you about it.
  3. It'll come in a variety of different colours. These range from white (the base model) all up to being covered in gold paint (the most expensive variety). The colour of the paint reflects on the signal quality, just like the time they had to release a condom to cover the phone when people touching it without one resulted in signal failure.
  4. The iPhone 7 will include a slightly better camera than the iPhone 6S. This camera will be able to capture photos upto 16MP, but there won't be a flash on this model.
  5. The lack of a flash on the camera can be rectified by buying an official iPhone 7 flash attachment.
  6. iPhone 7 will have another new dock connector type. This has been changed again from the iPhone 6, which was changed from the iPhone 5 and the iPhone 4 before it.
  7. iPhone 7 contains a 2GHz A6 processor and a slightly faster GPU. However, to make space for the larger chipsets, the battery has been shrunk in size.
  8. The battery will be in the 300mAh variety. Whilst this will mean that you need to be plugged into the wall practically all day, Apple have found a solution to this problem.
  9. The official Apple battery pack will be released on launch day. It'll slot into a secondary, hidden connector that will give you an additional 2 hours of battery life. You can however buy multiple battery packs to swap around at will.
  10. No SD slot will be included, as per Apple protocol that the onboard memory is more than enough.
  11. The device will have at least 64Gb of storage.
  12. The device will be 5G, although please note that the higher speed of the internet will require the greatest level of signal quality. Please refer to statement 3 to ensure you can make the most of this feature.
  13. iPhone 7 will not contain an iPod, however, please rest assured that you can download our special app (price to be confirmed) that will restore iPod functionality.
  14. There will be an additional accelerometer that will make your games slightly better.
  15. A third hidden slot will allow you to connect Apple's gamepad (price to be confirmed) that will give greater control in your games.
  16. As per every other iPhone, iPhone 7 will have a touchscreen. However, iPhone 7 uses a new security feature to ensure it is only you that can unlock the phone.
  17. The new security feature requires you to lick the touchscreen with one eye closed to unlock the phone.
  18. The screen on iPhone 7 will be the same size as iPhone 6, however the resolution will be 1920x1080. This will significantly reduce battery life. However, this can be rectified by employing the fix in statement 8.
  19. iPhone 7 will use the latest SIM card standard; 'minute sim'. This is the smallest SIM card to date, although once installed in the phone, it can't be removed.
  20. iPhone 7 will be the most advanced iPhone to date, until we release iPhone 7s.

iphone 7 image 1
iphone 7 image 1
iphone 7 image 2
iphone 7 image 2
iphone 7 image 3
iphone 7 image 3

If you've made it all the way down here, then thank you. If you've enjoyed reading it, voting it up and sharing it on your favourite social networking sites would be much appreciated. If you're an Apple fan boy and this article has upset you, well, tough titties.


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No comments yet.


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at:

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the or domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)