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The Vampire Diaries -- Why The Ian/Nina Break-Up Didn't Upset Me

Updated on May 13, 2013

I came on Twitter Thursday morning and saw tweet after tweet of hysterical Vampire Diaries’ fans acting like it was the end of the world; the end of their worlds, anyway. The news had broken that Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev had broken up. When I heard the news I shrugged and went on with my day without giving it another thought. I’m sorry for them that they decided to break-up, but it was their personal business and none of my business. Unfortunately, a lot of Vampire Diaries’ fans thought these two actors personal relationship was their business.

Seeing the way these fans started shipping a real-life relationship, I often wondered what they’d do if they ever broke-up. I just didn’t expect it to happen until after the show was over. I wondered if this would prove to just be a convenience romance that would die once they no longer were working together. When I quit my job, I thought I’d made a lot of real friendships at work, and discovered they had only been convenience friendships. Once I no longer worked there, it was like I’d never been friends with any of the people I’d been friends with and they’d forgotten I’d ever existed.

In a strange way I’m almost relieved they did break-up. I just found it so creepy the way some of the fans were shipping a real-life couple. You don’t ship real-life couples like they’re a couple on a TV show. These are real people having a real relationship that is absolutely none of your business. I wouldn’t be surprised if these shippers didn’t help play a part in the couple breaking up. Having a relationship is hard enough. When you add a group of fans who think they’re a part of your relationship and should know every detail of it; that just adds unneeded and unwanted pressure to the relationship. It’s hard having a relationship while living in a fishbowl and it’s worse if you have people staring in at you constantly wanting to watch every move you make. That’s basically what these shippers were doing.

I think a lot of these Nian shippers, as they called themselves, were actually DE fans. A lot of them acted like the real relationship was an extension of the couple these people ship on The Vampire Diaries. That it somehow validated the couple they shipped and was an assurance their couple would get together. The relationship these real-life people were having was nothing like the relationships they portrayed on the show of Damon and Elena or Damon and Katherine. The actors are nothing like the characters they play. That’s just acting and it’s not real. While these fans may feel they know the characters of Damon Salvatore and Elena Gilbert, they don’t know Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev, no matter how much they tried to invade their privacy and become a part of their lives.

Is this the end of their relationship for good? Who knows? Maybe they just needed a break from each other since they work together and just need some space from each other. Maybe they realized they make better friends than lovers. It’s really no one’s business but their own. This is a private relationship that has been invaded by fans and the media. What they do or don’t do in the future is entirely their own personal business and no one elses but them.

Ian Somerhalder has said he always remains friends with his ex-girlfriends. He and Maggie Grace had a relationship when they were both working on Lost and they’re still friends. Hopefully that will be the case between him and Nina Dobrev, as well. It’ll make things easy as they’re going to have to work two more years together before The Vampire Diaries comes to an end. That’s unfortunately the problem when you get involved with someone you work with. If the relationship doesn’t work out, they still have to work with each other, doing romantic scenes together.

On the bright side, maybe a lot of the nastiness both Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev have had to put up with from angry Stefan and Elena fans who despised the fact they were dating in real-life, as they thought that was a slam to their couple, will finally ease up. And maybe a little of the insufferable arrogance DE fans displayed because they were so certain they were the chosen shippers because the show couple they shipped had gotten together in real life will ease up. And I imagine both Ian Somerhalder and Nina Dobrev will feel a relief of the pressure they must have been feeling when a group of fans wanted to know about every romantic moment they shared together in private. That’s why I saw it’s a relief.

Bottom line, if the relationship is real and meant to be, they’ll get back together. Probably not until after the show is over and they can conduct a normal relationship without people constantly peeking in the windows at them wanting to know what they’re doing. And if it wasn’t real, then they won’t. But what they do decide is their business and everyone should stay out of their personal lives and mind their own businesses.

I used to wonder what the phrase, “Get a life,” meant, but this situation has shown me the true meaning of it. In short, to the fans in deep mourning because this couple has decided to call it quits, get your own life and let these two people live their own lives in peace.


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    • Kevina Oyatedor profile image

      kevina oyatedor 5 years ago

      When I heard the news, I started to laugh. Yeah they broke up, but they are still friends so it does not matter anyway.


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