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How to Be the Most Annoying Co-Worker Ever!

Updated on August 26, 2012
Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannie has been writing for HubPages for over 5 years. She covers a wide variety of topics—anything from hamsters to office work.

Bored at Work?

Are you bored at work? Are you trying to figure out new ways to make the day go by faster? Would you like to make everyone at work dislike you? Would you like to quit your job, but in this economy you can't, so you need to get fired?

Have no fear! This is the hub for you. You can learn some fast and easy techniques to annoy everyone around you at work in no time at all. You might even opt to totally annoy your boss. You are basically a total Annoying Co-Worker Superstar! You might even get fired if you take my advice. Hey, wait a minute. Maybe I shouldn't even share this information. I suppose you should read this only if you dare!

Some Simple Ideas

1. Start quoting from Office Space or The Office all the time, even if your co-workers have no idea what you are referencing. Refuse to get out of character even when everyone stops talking to you.

2. Start eating really smelly food at your desk. Broccoli is a really good choice.

3. Put smelly leftovers in your co-workers' trash bins. An especially obnoxious trash item is a banana peel. There will be swarms of gnats in no time!

4. When co-workers talk about their children, talk about your pets in the same manner. Insist your pets are just the same as children, only your pets are nicer and better behaved.

5. Answer your calls with, "Yo! What do you want now?"

6. Take naps at your desk. Make sure to snore.

7. Start challenging co-workers to office chair races. When they refuse, tell them it is because they never had a chance against you.

8. Write graffiti on the bathroom walls such as: "Call Kevin at extension 649 for a good time."

9. Wear too much perfume. If possible, if there is one person you really want to annoy, find out what scent he or she hates the most, and spray it every hour.

10. Jam the printer and don't fix it. I know people do that all the time. I didn't ever say your office didn't already have some annoying people working there.

11. Sing all the time. Even if you are a great singer, trust me, it is still obnoxious.

12. Make paper airplanes during meetings. If no one pays attention, fly one across the room.

13. Correct your co-workers all the time. Even if you are not right, still do it. They will hate you in no time.

14. When having a conversation with your boss, say things like, "Yeah, that is what my last manager said. Ever wonder what happened to him?"

15. Start bedazzling your whole office or desk. When you're done, start on other people's desks.

16. While your co-worker is at lunch, turn off the lights, lock the door, and see what happens when he or she gets back.

17. Bring your pets to work. Let them roam around all over the office. If your puppy has an accident on the floor, blame it on one of your co-workers.

18. Start making random announcements on the office intercom. Make sure to mention your office is having a "Blue Light Special" in the lobby. If you happen to work at Kmart, don't bother with that announcement - it won't be funny at all. It will probably just be truthful.

19. Order food for random people at the office. When the delivery guy shows up, never fess up to making the order. Just have your co-worker try to figure out whether to pay for the food or send it back.

20. Just 4 words for you: motion activated Halloween decorations. Set them up everywhere. If they scream, even better.

Let the Office Torture Begin!

I hope you won't torture your co-workers too much with these ideas. It is OK to have a little fun with your co-workers or get a little revenge sometimes. Just don't go too far. If you get fired, it is on you.

Copyright ©2011 Jeannieinabottle


Submit a Comment

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Hehehe... I used to have a co-worker that ate bananas and threw the peel in MY trash can. She was the inspiration for some of this. I've worked with so many special people. Ewww... poodles do not belong at work! Thanks for reading and for the comment!

  • Turtlewoman profile image

    Kim Lam 5 years ago from California

    This is right on! I've done #2, 16 a few months ago. My boss actually did #17. He brought his poodle to work and the little pooch peed on the walls.

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    I haven't had 9 happen to me before, but I have suffered through 1, 2, 3, 11, and 13. I've also done 16 and 18 to my co-workers. :-) Sorry number 9 happened to you.... that had to be unpleasant. Thanks for the comment!

  • Alecia Murphy profile image

    Alecia Murphy 5 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

    I've had number 9 and 11 happen to me by the same person and while you make it funny, in real life it isn't. I would also add be the person who leaves a gigantic mess in the break room and never bothers to clean it up! Great list Jeannie!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    hahaha... that is so true! Sometimes I actually do that at work. I have a co-worker that hates chewing sounds. When he gets on my nerves, time for the gum or loud chips. Thanks for the comment!

  • Sunshine625 profile image

    Linda Bilyeu 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

    Chew gum like a cow and pop lots of bubbles! That would be very annoying! Great list!!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Thanks so much and thanks for the vote up!

  • Curiad profile image

    Mark G Weller 5 years ago from Lake Charles, LA.

    laughs, this is great! Thank you for the laughs :)

    Voted up!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    I am glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for the vote up!

  • Jlava73 profile image

    Jennifer Vasconcelos 5 years ago from Cyberspace and My Own World

    You had me in stiches! Of course voted up!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    rlaha - Yes, I know exactly what you mean! I have a couple of co-workers that constantly bring in tuna. This is despite the fact that one of the directors hates it. Ewww! Thanks for all the votes on this one. I appreciate it.

    rob_allen - You are inspiration to disgruntled employees everywhere! I am frustrated at my job, too. I do actually like my boss though. There is so many other aspects of the job to hate. Hehe. Sorry you were unable to do any of these things while you had a chance. Thanks for dropping by!

    albertsj - I am glad you enjoyed it so much. This was actually one of my first hubs and I decided to add to it this weekend. Thanks for the votes!

    Thanks, everyone!

  • albertsj profile image

    jacy albertson 5 years ago from Lake Mary, Fl

    OMG: I am still laughing. So hard I'm crying. This is hysterical. Voted up & funny

  • rob_allen profile image

    rob_allen 5 years ago from MNL, PH

    Hahahahah! This is so crazy! I love it. However, it came a little late because I already render my resignation from the company where I hate my boss the most. Well, the thing is, I have done one thing that pushed him to ask for for a forced resignation. I didn't do what he wanted me to do.Bashed him on twitter and a lot of other things. I never regret what I did. I know he deserves to know that he's the most stupid boss I had. :)

  • rlaha profile image

    rlaha 5 years ago from Spartanburg, SC

    Another smelly food is tuna or tuna salad sandwiches. Ugh! I had a co-worker who used to bring them in almost every other day! I just about wanted to throw them away every time she took it out of the refrigerator. They made me sick to my stomach. Good ones! I voted this up, useful, interesting, and funny!

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 5 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    You are so right! I will never understand how people are allowed to do that at work. Thanks for dropping by!

  • DeborahNeyens profile image

    Deborah Neyens 5 years ago from Iowa

    How about people that bring their kids to work and let them tear around the office like it was a playground. Aarrgh!

  • Vishaaa profile image

    Vishaaa 6 years ago from Somewhere on this earth..

    Hahaha I loved it.

  • mistyhorizon2003 profile image

    Cindy Lawson 6 years ago from Guernsey (Channel Islands)

    Wonderful Hub. Another smelly and annoying food to eat at your desk is egg mayonnaise sandwiches. I got told off for this once.

    I am also guilty of number 4, as usually my animals are better behaved than most children, and so much more cute in my eyes ;)

    Number 11, Singing: got told off for this once years ago, mind you, I worked in a vets, and although I was out the back with the animals, my voice carried through to the consulting room where the vet had a client in. There was nothing wrong with my singing (my Mum was a professional singer, and cut records with Columbia), it was just not ideal for it to be audible to a client with a poorly pet!!

    Hmmm, I never realised quite how annoying I actually am :(

  • Jeannieinabottle profile image

    Jeannie InABottle 6 years ago from Baltimore, MD

    Boredom can make a person do crazy things, like write this hub for example. Thanks for the comment!

  • lorddraven2000 profile image

    Sam Little 6 years ago from Wheelwright KY

    My buddy Jeff could add to this list. For three hours the other day he repeated I am Retarded in the most akward voice you could imagine, why did he do it... He was bored.