Bringing Up An Only Child

Your first bundle of JOY! And the only one! Whatever the reason for you to opt for an only child, giving it the best is all you care to think about. Whether you are a single parent, or whether the child is adopted is pointless. But giving it the quality of life - a proper, healthy future in terms of good health and education, is what one must strive to provide.

God gave you the joy of bringing up a child-yes, God knows best!A child can give you sleepless nights or keep you from your important assignments,but you learn to love her soo much ,it hardly matters. Many a man and woman known to be haughty or proud ,soften up on the sight of their little one, and sure the little one knows how to wrap the parent/parents around his little finger.

I have seen several of my friends today having an only child and I myself have brought up an only daughter, and the conversation often rallied around questions such as,

• "Is your child spoilt?"
• "Can your child travel alone?"
• "Does your child study well at school?"
• "Does she not want a sibling? It would be better to have one or two more children to keep her company." And when older, people refuse to believe that an only child can be independent and can look after himself/herself perfectly and be a perfect spouse and parent when time arises. Such is the perception of Indian families.

In some cases the only child is overbearing and a bully at school,and on the sports field. Because he is used to getting his way around always. Otherwise he throws up a tantrum!

It is not right to assume that an only child will grow up to be an introvert, the reverse is also possible. I know my own daughter is more of an extrovert. But she has learnt the art of being tactful .

So, what makes for a perfect blend of personality ,whether the child is single or with a sibling?

Studies have shown that a person develops into a wholesome individual based on three basic factors - the right genes, the environment he grows up in, and his experiences of life.

What can I as a parent do to help my only child become a personality that is all GOD wanted him/her to be? In order for a child to unlock his full potential, it is necessary for you as parent to understand the following GOLDEN RULES. According to the age of the child, you as parent also have to change in attitude and thinking to promote harmonious living!

• Never dictate terms in the growing years.
• Allow the child to explore but under supervision.
• Never leave a child alone for long.
• Always talk to a child encouraging him, and admonishing only when apt.
• Never poke fun of your child in front of others or in private.
• Heaping praises helps every seemingly gigantic task to be accomplished.
• Exercise patience and restraint in good measure.
  
• Forget the wrongs quickly and never bring them up. But praise and affection should be doled out in good measure.
• Some parents always end up saying, "Don't do this/that......!" Or show fear or negative talk always discouraging new train of thought or exploring newer ideas. It is only wise that we understand that as children are growing up they are getting more exposed and aware and so we need to allow them to gain new experiences. But it is also our duty to let them know the value of adhering to choosing right from wrong. Particularly useful in the teens!
  
• Having a positive attitude oneself is important as we go through life's battles, as the child watches our every move and listens to our talk and subconsciously absorbs our habits and lifestyle, in addition to acclimatizing to our way of thinking. Therefore, it is imperative to note that unless you are ready to be a good parent, do not take on the task of being one. Children are a GIFT from GOD and whatever mood we may be in or challenges we are facing, we must provide our child ample opportunities for growth and recognizing his/her self worth. And this is a foundation of life for a very secure and happy, confident individual ready to take on the challenges of life's battles themselves.
• And last, but not least, never make your child a mirror image of yourself - Your child may look and act and talk like you, but respect his/her individualistic ideas and let them grow. Never make them pursue your dream of being a doctor or an engineer, that you did not get a chance to be. Encourage them to pursue their own dreams, and take pride in their achievements! You will earn their respect that way and they will value your advice for life! They have their own battles to win in this business of living, and the family values, integrity and good habits inculcated in their growing years will hold them in good stead to grow into a charming personality! The world has changed and is changing fast, and they need to make their mark and leave their own footprints in the sands of time!