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Children Left Behind

Updated on April 29, 2015
Cast your vote for Children Unwanted
 Child Alone
Child Alone | Source

Children Left Behind

This topic is not discussed too often, due to exposing those that were involved. Maybe there is a quilt involved or total dismay for the once child that found out that they were not wanted.

After listening to adults that try to answer the question as to why they were not wanted verses the explanation they were given, just some how does not seem to add up for some or satisfy them.

Is there a legitimate reason for not keeping a child that you have given birth to? Does that make it okay? Looking at it from the child's point of view, I don't think so. The child has a stigma placed upon them for life, which sometimes will cause them problems with relationships and in functioning properly in society.

Why me, is the question? Not being accepted by your mother or father is a big blow to anyone. Some people are able to put it aside and move on. Many others carry this as an dark cloud in their lives, which follows them, never ending and making them a very sad person.

There are many reasons why a person would not choose to keep their child. A few are listed here. Not married and unable to care for child. New spouse, child would cause a problem. Abused or mentally challenged are just some of the reasons given and there are many more.





Unwanted children

Happy Family
Happy Family | Source

Consequences

There are consequences for all involved, sadly enough.The parents that made that choice of giving up their child is left with a quilt feeling and the child with a feeling of confusion and distrust in any human being.

It is true that not all individuals have this problem, but those that do have it are struggling to deal with the feelings that they have all bottled up inside of them. One issue is how can they trust another individual to love them and not abandon them. Some individuals express anger towards others that is not warranted.

There are others that feel that the world owes them, but they really can't explain why they feel that way. Most of these issues need to be talked about so as to get those involved to vent their feelings and get it off their chest so they can move on and enjoy life.

Getting over the hurt and confusion is a big hurdle, but by doing so will help clear a path to creating their own happiness in life.

Extreme Abuse

Helpful thoughts

Can you offer some advice as to how to move on and be happy?

See results
Build your Happiness
Build your Happiness | Source

Building your happiness

It is a task in its own, trying to build one's happiness. Unloading the heaviness left behind can be an on going task. Many people that are suffering are walking around day in and day out masking their true feelings, just trying to get through each day.

If you have not experienced this unwanted child issue, it would be very hard for you to image what the other person is feeling. It is like an invisible stamp that is always there until you learn how to put it away for good. most people have not shared with anyone that they were abandoned or not wanted.

Seeking professional help if necessary is wise, especially if a person finds that they are having trouble with relationships or functioning in society due to the stigma placed upon them.

With the support of others and positive thoughts a person can manage to seek comfort and happiness.

Any abuse is unacceptable!
Any abuse is unacceptable! | Source

Secrets of an Unwanted Child

The secrets were unspoken or were not recognized by those that suffered from this unfortunate issue of being an unwanted child.

1. Always being harassed or mistreated for no reason.

2. Never being hugged or kissed by parent.

3. Look of disgust, most of the time.

4. Never praised for doing something nice.

5.Always being sent off to another relative.

6. Being verbally and physically abused.

7. Complaints about behavior, for no reason.

8. Always putting you down in front of others.

If at the time, we that experienced this behavior had of known that is was not our fault, I think that it would have helped us to understand and not suffer as adults.



Not your fault.
Not your fault. | Source

Reasons for abusive behavior

  1. Unwanted pregnancy.
  2. Pregnant for the wrong reasons.
  3. Postpartum syndrome.
  4. Relationship breakup.
  5. Too young
  6. Mentally unstable.
  7. To get back at spouse.
  8. Not a family member.

Help fix the problem
Help fix the problem | Source

End Result of a child unwanted

Wonder why you are triggered off by some simple statements made by others? Until we learn to identify the problem of neglect or abuse from a childhood, we will not get past it and be able to function as a normal loving human being.

We all learn from our upbringing. If you were never hugged or kissed as a child, you really can't develop those feelings without some kind of input at an early age. Closeness and warmth are developed at an early age. Not to say it is something that can be learned in adulthood, but with some effort and understanding from others.

It is very hard for an adult to open up to others and discuss the problematic issues. Without professional help in learning how to express yourself and letting the pain go away can be quite a task and burden to anyone trying to hide their true feelings and really not knowing how to get rid of this burden and moving on to a better life.


The Secret

As long as we keep it a secret, the others will not be helped as to learning how to cope and deal with their situation or circumstances. Knowing that you are not the only one,really helps.Many of the outburst and reactions ( which seems to be for no reason ) is one the causes for the turmoil in our society.

Comments are Welcomed

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    • twig22bend profile image
      Author

      twig22bend 4 years ago

      Thank you vocalcoach for commenting and the votes. We sometimes miss the whole point when making decisions concerning the safety and wellbeing of children.

    • twig22bend profile image
      Author

      twig22bend 4 years ago

      Thank you tammyswallow for commenting on such a delicate subject. The choices we make earlier on in life have such a dramatic impact in our lives.

    • vocalcoach profile image

      Audrey Hunt 4 years ago from Nashville Tn.

      An interesting and difficult subject to write about.

      I voted up and interesting and thank you!

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 4 years ago from North Carolina

      This is such a painful subject with far reaching consequences. You really presented this in a gentle way. It is a shame that we live in a world where human beings are disposable. Such an important topic.

    • twig22bend profile image
      Author

      twig22bend 4 years ago

      Thank you peachpurple for the vote up and comment. I am still finding my way around.I know this is late.

    • peachpurple profile image

      peachy 4 years ago from Home Sweet Home

      Nice hub. I am sure every parents wants to have a happy family with the kids. Problems with money, relationship and communication takes time and patience to develop the answer that you want. Voted up