- Family and Parenting
Children Left Behind
Children Left Behind
This topic is not discussed too often, due to exposing those that were involved. Maybe there is a quilt involved or total dismay for the once child that found out that they were not wanted.
After listening to adults that try to answer the question as to why they were not wanted verses the explanation they were given, just some how does not seem to add up for some or satisfy them.
Is there a legitimate reason for not keeping a child that you have given birth to? Does that make it okay? Looking at it from the child's point of view, I don't think so. The child has a stigma placed upon them for life, which sometimes will cause them problems with relationships and in functioning properly in society.
Why me, is the question? Not being accepted by your mother or father is a big blow to anyone. Some people are able to put it aside and move on. Many others carry this as an dark cloud in their lives, which follows them, never ending and making them a very sad person.
There are many reasons why a person would not choose to keep their child. A few are listed here. Not married and unable to care for child. New spouse, child would cause a problem. Abused or mentally challenged are just some of the reasons given and there are many more.
There are consequences for all involved, sadly enough.The parents that made that choice of giving up their child is left with a quilt feeling and the child with a feeling of confusion and distrust in any human being.
It is true that not all individuals have this problem, but those that do have it are struggling to deal with the feelings that they have all bottled up inside of them. One issue is how can they trust another individual to love them and not abandon them. Some individuals express anger towards others that is not warranted.
There are others that feel that the world owes them, but they really can't explain why they feel that way. Most of these issues need to be talked about so as to get those involved to vent their feelings and get it off their chest so they can move on and enjoy life.
Getting over the hurt and confusion is a big hurdle, but by doing so will help clear a path to creating their own happiness in life.
Can you offer some advice as to how to move on and be happy?
Building your happiness
It is a task in its own, trying to build one's happiness. Unloading the heaviness left behind can be an on going task. Many people that are suffering are walking around day in and day out masking their true feelings, just trying to get through each day.
If you have not experienced this unwanted child issue, it would be very hard for you to image what the other person is feeling. It is like an invisible stamp that is always there until you learn how to put it away for good. most people have not shared with anyone that they were abandoned or not wanted.
Seeking professional help if necessary is wise, especially if a person finds that they are having trouble with relationships or functioning in society due to the stigma placed upon them.
With the support of others and positive thoughts a person can manage to seek comfort and happiness.
Secrets of an Unwanted Child
The secrets were unspoken or were not recognized by those that suffered from this unfortunate issue of being an unwanted child.
1. Always being harassed or mistreated for no reason.
2. Never being hugged or kissed by parent.
3. Look of disgust, most of the time.
4. Never praised for doing something nice.
5.Always being sent off to another relative.
6. Being verbally and physically abused.
7. Complaints about behavior, for no reason.
8. Always putting you down in front of others.
If at the time, we that experienced this behavior had of known that is was not our fault, I think that it would have helped us to understand and not suffer as adults.
Reasons for abusive behavior
- Unwanted pregnancy.
- Pregnant for the wrong reasons.
- Postpartum syndrome.
- Relationship breakup.
- Too young
- Mentally unstable.
- To get back at spouse.
- Not a family member.
End Result of a child unwanted
Wonder why you are triggered off by some simple statements made by others? Until we learn to identify the problem of neglect or abuse from a childhood, we will not get past it and be able to function as a normal loving human being.
We all learn from our upbringing. If you were never hugged or kissed as a child, you really can't develop those feelings without some kind of input at an early age. Closeness and warmth are developed at an early age. Not to say it is something that can be learned in adulthood, but with some effort and understanding from others.
It is very hard for an adult to open up to others and discuss the problematic issues. Without professional help in learning how to express yourself and letting the pain go away can be quite a task and burden to anyone trying to hide their true feelings and really not knowing how to get rid of this burden and moving on to a better life.
As long as we keep it a secret, the others will not be helped as to learning how to cope and deal with their situation or circumstances. Knowing that you are not the only one,really helps.Many of the outburst and reactions ( which seems to be for no reason ) is one the causes for the turmoil in our society.
- Child Abuse & Neglect: Recognizing, Preventing and Reporting Child Abuse
Do you know what the warning signs of child abuse are? Learn how to recognize, prevent and report child abuse.
- Parent Counseling and Training