Children Acting Out or ODD
Oppositional Defiant Disorder
Wow, that's a mouthful. I think when I grew up they called us rebels, stubborn brats, or said we were just trying to buck the system. Now, your ODD, acting out, or some other mental health disorder. But what do they really want or need from us, and can we give it to them?
What Do Children Really Want?
Where Do You Draw The Line?
What's normal acting out and is there such a thing? Who decides what's normal you, me, the doctors, teachers, grandparents, and what if we disagree with that definition? You've probably thought about a ton of other questions and still waiting for the answer that hits you ike a ton of bricks, "That's It". You've finally found it, the alternative to everything else you've tried and seems like the right thing to do. Then about two weeks later, (if that long) you're starting to think maybe this wasn't the right answer, and start looking for another one.
Ok first off just STOP! There is no quick fix, unless your going for the lets just knock them out with meds and we won't have to deal with it syndrome, and that's just what it is, a quick and easy fix. Take them to the doctor, tell him how everybody from their teacher, grandparents, your friends, etc think there is something wrong with them It's a way of telling the world that their not a bad child, they have ODD, their sick, and if you don't think that label will stick with them for the rest of their life, dream on. What if your boss or significant other decided that's what they were going to do with you because ahh, enough is enough. it will make things easier.
Understand that I am not saying that there aren't children out there who need medication, some of them do desperately. Here's the sad part, a lot of those will never get it. The even more disturbing part is that a large percentage of the one's that are getting it aren't sick at all and don't need the meds. They are of the few chosen in this world that are gifted. They have a creativity and intellect which is amazing, and hard to understand, which is why we get so frustrated, along with them, because we don't understand, and neither does anyone else. That is unless the doctor, or professional, has done some research and doesn't just want the monthy visit for the prescription, because that's all the insurance or goverment will cover. And sometimes even if they re not gifted they just want a voice and to be heard.
Is there help without the meds, or maybe ways of understanding, and learning to communicate which will not totally stop the outbursts, and utter defiance, but at least put a good dent in it for now? Wil it help to lower stress and aniety levels, and maybe just get back to having some enjoyable conversations with your child, (and maybe others -:)? Never know until you try jJust remember it takes a litte time. Really, I think it may take longer for us to make the adjustments, than them
From The Time They Are Born
They Have A Voice And Want To Be Heard
It's how they've learned to survive. They cry, we feed them, change diapers, hold and comfort them, it's what we've taught them. Then somehow it all starts to change. Children have a voice and need to be heard. You know how it is when you just have a voice, don't you? Like when your talking to your boss and he's/she's on the phone with someone else, and motions you to keep going even though you know deep down, their not listening to a word your saying. Or there's always your at home talking to your other half as he's/she's looking at the sports section of the paper, the TV, on the computer, or the worst, they begin snoring as they lay back on the couch. You really wanted to tell them about an incident that happened earlier but their not giving you the time of day, or at least the respect to see how important it is.
We do it with our children all the time we pick them up fom school and start ranting about how so and so did this, or how busy we are. Hey they'll listen, they have too their our children. Do you have a pet? Ever walk by their room and catch them telling the dog/cat/etc what happened at school that day and how maybe they just can't stand it anymore? Ever wonder why it''s not you? What about why they want to spend so much time online. Because the person on the other end will at least let them finish before they ridicule, not cut them off before they finish typing, they will even pay attention like their worthy of being heard, and won't tell them how absolutely insane that sounds when their done
When I was younger, (and still to this day) my mind runs on overtime. It's why I write these articles I think of probably 2 to 3 new ideas for products, commercials, etc, per day, (well more actually but at least 2 or 3 that make sense). I have one for furniture that would knock your socks off. But as a child nobody wanted to hear them I was a child, who either was unrealistic (you gotta love that one going back 40 yrs) to young, or to curious and would be taught when I was older. How many child genius's, inventor's, artists, etc. are out there as your reading this that could revolutionize products, music, etc, that will never be heard Action movies are written everyday but let a child start telling you about a shooting spree, blowing something up, or the gruesome details of someone being brutally attacked, stabbed, etc, and we start cringing and wondering where they got the idea.
From the beginning we taught them it's what they needed to survive, for us to hear their voice. Now we've changed the rules and nobody including us I don't think knows why. Go back to the basics. It's what they want and they need
So for now I'll close my one mouth and open my two ears so I can listen and pay attention.
Please let them have a voice and be heard
Good Luck in whatever choices you make, and please let me know what works for you.