No control
as a parent
I thought as a parent I had to have control of everyone and everything in my home, I recently realized that was a lie I told myself. I can't control others actions I can only control my own! I also can somewhat control the environment in my home but that's about it! I even realized that trying to have control of everything is just overwhelming and is a waist of my time.
With regards to the way someone is brought up like myself I thought because I was the parent what I say goes and what I did didn't matter. For example, if I told my kid not to do something because I said so but not to do the things that I do, was okay but really it's not okay! Kids absorb everything and for some reason especially our bad habits! If we don't want our kids to be bullies then we should never bully anybody, if we don't want our kids to curse then we should never curse, and if we want our kids to have integrity and be empathetic then we ourselves need to show them how to be this way by example!
Hey parents are humans to we all make mistakes but, it's never too late to change. Now that my oldest daughter is almost 19 years old and my other one is almost 16 years old I've realized that I cannot control them or their actions. However I can set boundaries in my home and hope that they choose to not step over them but if they make the choice to do so, I must follow through with the consequences!
I have also come to the realization that when it comes to others in my home I am not responsible for their actions because they are the ones that made their choices so I should just let it be and not place myself into their end results and let it affect my happiness or well being.
Parents have a lot of responsibility and don't always get it right the first time or unfortunately not at all but I feel that if I learn and apply, then I am doing okay. Now that I have a little boy who is only three years old I am applying the things I have learned so I hope that everything turns out for the better with him.
Overall things happen, life is life and I learn something new everyday. I am just grateful that I am able to learn and understand so I don't make the wrong choices that I have made in the past!!