Coping With Your Parents As A Teen
It's a whole different world from theirs. Most times I wonder if they really think that everything they do is best for me. Do they know how i feel? Do they even care to seek my opinion on issues? It's like there was a general meeting of humans called "Parents" and they were all told to continually piss us off.
I really find it very difficult to understand why parents don't seem to know the difference between raising toddlers and raising teens or young adults. Toddlers are of course new to this earth and so need all the help they can. They need help to eat, drink, bath, and select what to wear. They literally can't make decisions on their own. At this point, it is very okay to do everything for them.
The problem starts a few years later when these toddlers start to GROW. Parents tend to forget that we are no longer toddlers but growing each day. They keep treating us like the kids they carry to the nanny. We are not new to the world anymore, we have grown and learned a lot along the way. Teens and young adults all over the world face this same problem which is; getting our parents to see things from our point of view. I hope as many as read this would change their mindset.
"Your parents know everything". I have heard that phrase so many times it sounds like an anthem. That, I believe, is the origin of this menace. They believe they know what is best for us and so force stuffs on us. Well as we all know, this is not always the case. As I have been emphasizing, we have grown and our world is changing. We have noticed a lot of things, like the fact that our parents make mistakes. They are no longer the super heroes we used to know. There are even some things we can do better than our parents.
As a young adult, I should be able to make decisions on my own, that is why I am called a "young adult". Parents are meant to treat us like a younger version of themselves and not like toddlers. When a 60 year old man is interacting with a 40 year old man, no one treats the other like a kid even though one is much older than the other. It can be really difficult trying to cope with parents at this stage judging from my present experience but I guess all we can do is continue to try and make them see things from our own point of view.
How To Cope With Your Parents
This is probably the hardest section I have ever written. The issue is that I find it difficult sometimes to follow some of these instructions
1. Get to know what exactly makes you upset: Most times we just get upset without knowing the reason why. This habit or attitude helps to solve nothing. The first step is to really know what makes you upset. Is it the fact that your parents don't see things from your point of view that gets you upset or because they disagree with you.
2. Write down your suggestions: After you have known what gets you upset the most, you need to write out how you feel things should be. We all know that some of the things we get upset over are not usually worth getting upset for. So when writing our suggestions, we are to give up some of our demands since no human can have his/her way at all times. Go over this suggestions to be sure they sound good and are exactly what you wanted to put down.
3. Schedule a meeting: Well, even walking up to them to notify them of the meeting might be difficult but it is something we have to do. We also have to be polite when doing all this as we are trying to reach a compromise and not trying to start a war. Make your parents (sorry! Our parents) understand the need for the meeting and if we do this maturely and politely, they would definitely be available.
4. Make your presentation: Our emotions may come to play while presenting our case but if we have our already written "speech", we won't lose our focus. Try not to raise your voice or get angry during the course of the meeting.
5. Stay calm: As I said earlier, do not raise your voice! They are your parents and at least deserve that respect. If your parents reject your proposal after presenting it, stay calm and don't get emotional but let them know in simple terms that you were disappointed about the outcome. If they agree, cool. You still have to be calm though and then thank them for their agreement and promise not to make them regret their decision.
6. Let it out: In case the outcome of the meeting was not favorable, don't loose your cool as I said earlier. You can go to your room and write down your feelings. This has a way of relieving you of every bottled up feeling.
Can the friction be reduced?
The answer is definitely YES. There is nothing that can't be solved or reduced. With adequate effort from both parties, the friction can be reduced. When we follow the above steps, we show our parents that we are becoming matured and with time they would begin to treat us that way. We all need to compromise even though it may be difficult initially, and we would all enjoy the benefits when they begin to show up.