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New dad guide for pregnancy

Updated on June 9, 2013
Kasman's pregnant wife.
Kasman's pregnant wife.

So you're a first time Father huh?

First thing I want to say is Congratulations!

I know how it feels to get the announcement of being a brand new dad. When I got that announcement, I wasn't quite sure how to react but I just knew that I was proud, happy, clueless, excited, and a million other emotions all at the same time.

Being a typical man, I wanted to beat my chest like a gorilla and howl from the rooftops with pride over my new baby.

Normally, the full weight of having baby number 1 doesn't hit a man until he's holding the little bundle of joy in his hands for the first time. The other thing is the fact that life is never going to be the same!

Now you've got some remaining months on her pregnancy and this will feel like you're whitewater rafting, having to navigate the waters around steep drops and sharp rocks as you come across them. Half the time you won't know what to expect, so it's a good thing to educate yourself now.

There's things financially, emotionally, and physically that you must do to be ready for that big day.

For all of you first time Dads-To-Be out there, here's a guide to helping you prepare!

Special things you can do for your lady.

  • Buy or make mementos for each month that passes of the pregnancy.
  • Go with her to pick out maternity clothes at the mom and pop consignment shops (My wife and I went to one of these and got her 5 sets of clothing for $50, instead of $250.)

No time to relax guys!
No time to relax guys!
Sometimes, it just feels like this. Just love her man.
Sometimes, it just feels like this. Just love her man.

First, TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.

Responsibility - the state of being accountable to somebody or for something.

That's a very short definition but simply put, it means you need to man up and take charge for the consequences of having this baby, good or bad.

Is this baby a blessing? Most definitely! Will this be hard? Absolutely! Will it make you a better man? If you are willing to be humbled.

As time goes on, your wife is going to be able to do less and less in terms of movement. Her moods are going to be up and down a lot and her body will be changing significantly, so you will have to take up the slack where she can't anymore.

What does this mean?

Time to take on some more chores - She can still do some, but you need to be the one who's taking the load off her feet as much as possible.

Be even more patient - I'm not giving the ladies a pass on their behavior but when a woman is pregnant, her hormones are going nuts.....hence the mood swings. Love her unconditionally. 1 Corinthians 13.

Making extra grocery runs - Trust me, she will get wild cravings that need to be satisfied.....so this will happen quite often.

Pray - Utmost importance. Pray for the mother, pray for the safety of your child, pray also that the Lord will give you the wisdom to be a good father.

It's time to work out a realistic budget - This baby will cost quite a bit of money....but the build-up to it, including doctors visits and the like, will rack up costs.

Become a professional foot-rubber - Her ankles will be swollen sometimes and she will want you to massage the parts that are getting sore from all the extra weight.

Become a professional chef - You don't have to turn into Rachael Ray, but you need to start cooking more often for your lady.

Take walks with your lady - While it's good to keep her off her feet in terms of a lot of working, she needs to take a daily walk to stay healthy. This will also help to prevent any kind of pregnancy diabetes.

Go out together now - Make sure you're going out on as many dates as possible while you still have the time to.

How to get free samples of baby products.

  • Start registering with all the baby companies online RIGHT NOW! Companies like Pampers or Similac will send free samples.
  • Wal-Mart. Check the free sample portion of their website frequently for new deals.
  • Check with your local doctor's office about free samples.
  • Websites like StartSampling.com will send you free samples if you'll just go ahead and register for it.

Prepare the nursery.

You're about to enter the twilight zone of baby products. Some things are essentials that you will need to start stockpiling on now.

Essentials:

  • Changing table
  • Diapers man, tons of diapers....begin stocking up now!
  • Same goes for the baby wipes! You can't get enough of these!
  • Bassinet
  • Baby crib
  • Car seat
  • Stroller
  • Baby swing.
  • 4 receiving blankets.
  • Baby monitor
  • A copy of the book, "What to expect when you're expecting."

A great way to get a lot of these is to set up a Baby Registry:

Babies R' Us, Target, Wal-Mart, etc.

Register with any of these places or more and you'll see that some of your nursery needs will be taken care of for you at the baby shower.

My pregnant wife and I.
My pregnant wife and I. | Source

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Go to counseling.

I don't necessarily mean relationship counseling (unless of course you guys are in dire need of it already, then by all means, go), I mean baby counseling. This means anything from normal sessions to birthing classes!

Also, another good source of counseling are people that have been good parents in your eyes. Find these people and learn from them.

You will need to be of one mind with your beautiful lady on everything. You'll need to be mentally prepared for what lies ahead, trust me. Even if you don't like counseling (who does?), this one is mandatory.

There are many places that offer this, including churches, government facilities, and standard counselors.


STICK AROUND.

This goes without saying, but way too many men have dropped the ball........dang near deflated the thing, stomped on it, and left because of the load of responsibility for another life gets dropped into their laps. We weren't created to be pansies and leave, we were made to be men, so let's act like it.

If this sounds too harsh to you, good. Honestly, we as men need a good swift kick in the rear sometimes to own up to things and get our hearts and manhood in gear! This isn't to crush you or make you feel bad, it's to challenge you.

There's an awesome movie called "Courageous" that actually tackles the hardships and solutions of fatherhood. No matter what your background is, it'll definitely encourage you to stand up and take notice as a father about how much your children will need you to be the example they look to.

This is a challenge to all the men out there about to be fathers. You were made to be courageous. It's time to step up to the plate and swing for the fences. Let's be men of moral and virtuous character that's so lacking in our world today.

In the end, just be a good father.

That is all.

Thank you so much for reading!

Kasman will be back with another hub soon.

This will melt your heart. This is the reason you need to prepare. The best reason.

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    • FlourishAnyway profile image

      FlourishAnyway 4 years ago from USA

      Congratulations to you and your beautiful wife, Kas! Lovely hub! I'm sure you're not just letting that "What to Expect" book sit but rather reading it. My husband did not and I never let him forget it, haha. He is an active and very involved dad now, though.

      Parenting is the most beautiful, humbling experience ever. I cannot imagine not having the child I am blessed with. She's changed my entire world, my entire perspective on life, and having her has made me a better person. Parenthood is clearly worth all the lack of sleep, physical costs, frustration and everything else. Best wishes on your exciting journey. Buckle up!

    • bravewarrior profile image

      Shauna L Bowling 4 years ago from Central Florida

      Kas, I am so proud of you. You are already a great Daddy (and husband)! The video brought tears of joy to my eyes. I remember when my son was born, almost 21 years ago, but it seems like yesterday. He was born in a birthing center and we were home when he was only 10 hours old! That was awesome!

      Something I'd like to pass on to you and Mommy: I bought all my maternity clothes at a local consignment shop called Mothers To Be and Kiddies, Too. After Christopher was born, I'd take the clothes he outgrew to the consignment shop. They grow so fast and sometimes even jump over sizes you have on hand. I couldn't afford to keep buying clothes and this was a good option. For the first few years of his life I basically swapped out his old clothes for new (used) ones and spent little to nothing. Whatever the store couldn't sell, which went on my account, they would donate to churches and those who are less fortunate. I never bought him anything new - it just didn't make sense. Look into it and see if you have a consignment shop near you that carries newborn to grade school clothes. It makes life a lot easier! Plus, if your wife plans on breasfeeding, the expense of baby milk is not a factor at all.

      Great hub! You're such a proud Daddy!!!!

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

      I'll tell you what, buddy! If you follow your own advice you will end up in the Father's Hall of Fame and the Husband's Hall of Fame. Great suggestions for sure and before I forget....CONGRATULATIONS! A new life is about to begin, and yours will never be the same.

      blessings buddy, and say hello to your lovely wife for me

      bill

    • tammyswallow profile image

      Tammy 4 years ago from North Carolina

      Congratulations to you and your beautiful wife. I know you will be great parents. I hope your strength and enthusiam spread to other fathers to be who are looking for inspiration. Excellent caring advice!

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Yeah flourish, my wife and I are having to make time for that book as we go. We are slowly but surely making it through and enjoying anything we glean from it. Big thing for us is just trying to learn from our friends and family who have done it right and made the mistakes along the way.

      I think you're right about parenthood making you a better person altogether. Good times all around, thanks for stopping by!

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Thank you bravewarrior for your comments, I agree with you about the consignment shops, we found one called summer kids and they do the same things you're talking about. We definitely think its okay to save money in this way and its a great way!

      Thanks for your encouragement and your thoughts, it's very kind.

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Thanks a lot billy! I certainly hope that I make a good father. I'm definitely excited about my little one on the way so I'm very ready to begin after pregnancy. And my wife says hi back! God bless ya bill.

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Thanks a lot Tammy! I've already had people coming up and saying they're inspired by the way we are handling the pregnancy so I really hope it translates to my first! I want to see more fathers step up to the plate! Thanks always for stopping by and God bless you.

    • Sheri Faye profile image

      Sheri Dusseault 4 years ago from Chemainus. BC, Canada

      Beautiful. Your wife is one lucky lady. Enjoy the journey!

    • KellyPittman profile image

      Kelly Pittman 4 years ago from Walker, LA

      First, Congrats!! Second, Great Hub! You are Courageous Dad!

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Thanks so much Sheri, I'd like to think so, but she's the real expert on that, lol.

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Thank you Kelly. I hope I prove to be courageous always! Thanks for stopping by and God bless you.

    • breastpumpreviews profile image

      Christy Garrett 4 years ago from TX

      Great hub, thank you for sharing. It is amazing how a tiny life can change the heart in an instant.

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Thanks so much breastpumpreviews. I was in love with my child the minute I saw it on the ultrasound jumping around because it heard my voice. I appreciate your comment.

    • midget38 profile image

      Michelle Liew 4 years ago from Singapore

      Wow, you are a great father and man of the house too. Great tips for would be dads. All need to heed this advice, which I share.

    • pinto2011 profile image

      Subhas 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

      Hi kasman your advises are really to be adhered with if anyone wants a smooth sailing traverse during his fatherhood. You are quite right that it leads to tear when getting the first glimpse of your baby in ultrasound.

    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Isaac Weithers 4 years ago from The Caribbean

      Hey, Responsible guy. Your wife is beautiful, and you also look good beside her. A handsome pair. I admire your approach to fatherhood and wish you and your family the best of God's favor.

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Thanks so much midget! I'm working hard to stay strong in that. I hope that people will find this helpful in taking care of kids.

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Yeah pinto, I couldn't help how I felt when I saw it. I was in love when I saw my baby jump in the ultrasound. It was so powerful and moving. Thank you so much for your comments!

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Thanks so much ms Dora, I'm blessed to know you think this and I really hope I can continue to please The Lord in all of this. God bless. Thanks for your comment.

    • CarlySullens profile image

      CarlySullens 4 years ago from St. Louis, Missouri

      This is such a great informative hub. I love how honest and straightforward you are. I taught childbirth education classes, and when I pick them up again I would most definitely like to share the link to this hub for the dads.

      Love it!

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 4 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Thanks so much Carly. I was encouraged to write this hub by Tammyswallow and I think she was right on. I had a lot of fun doing it, but now I'm all in! I have to make sure I'm on top of the things I list here so that I can be a good father in terms of the raising! I'm blessed to know you would use this for your classes! Go for it! Thanks for stopping in!

    • Au fait profile image

      C E Clark 3 years ago from North Texas

      Great advice for first time dads to be and things to keep them busy while they're waiting so that they don't over-think the situation. ;)

      Yard sales and thrift stores are another great place to find baby equipment. After all, they outgrow things so quickly it often never gets a chance for the 'new' shine to wear off, so why pay full price?

      Secondly, the one thing I would recommend for a new mom is to learn how to sleep sitting up just in case baby turns out to be a high-need baby like mine was -- some people still call these babies colicky or purple crying babies.

      Excellent hub, a must read or all first time dads to be. Voted up, useful, will share with my followers and I'm pinning it to my 'Pregnancy and Childbirth' board.

    • vandynegl profile image

      vandynegl 3 years ago from Ohio Valley

      Great information! I love the movie too! It brought me to tears! I can remember those days in the hospital and how beautiful those first moments are.

      Thank you for writing this! I hope to see dads taking notes!

    • Kathryn Stratford profile image

      Kathryn 3 years ago from Manchester, Connecticut

      That is some great advice to men who are about to become fathers! It's informative, and sweet.

      Also, you and your wife are so cute together! Good luck with your baby, and with being a new father.

      Have a great Sunday!

      ~ Kathryn

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 3 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Thanks so much for your comments au fait. It's funny, you would think I would have thought to include things about yards sales and such since my wife and I just finished doing some of that, lol. Your comments hit me square in the nose on this point so I think I may have to add it in a revision sometime! Thanks for the dropby and your wisdom! God bless and thanks again.

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 3 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Thank you Kathryn. I think men have to step up to the plate if they're going to call themselves men. I know there are so many flaws in me, but the Lord keeps teaching me how to step up and overcome them! That's all we need, motivation and drive for it! Thanks for your kind comments! God bless.

    • Kasman profile image
      Author

      Kas 3 years ago from Bartlett, Tennessee

      Thank you vandynegl for dropping in! Your two cents are much appreciated! I agree with you, I want to see more men stand up and be a man for their children. The parents are the child's first and best instructors typically, so you need to be instructed yourself to do well at it as a parent. Father's especially need this. Thanks alot!

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