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Daughters Need Their Fathers

Updated on December 11, 2013

A girl’s first knowledge and understanding of men begins with her own dad. He accepts her for who she is and loves her, flaws and all. This helps her learn to be comfortable in her own skin and not worry about whether her nose is too big or her hair too curly which more than likely she inherited from dear old dad.

Girls need a father more than they need their mother. Don’t get me wrong, they need both parents but girls need their father more.

The Promiscuous teenage girl:

Girls seeking the attention of a father figure often become overly affectionate not understanding boundaries and proper behavior since they didn’t have a dad at home to give them the healthy hugs they crave. Pedophiles or unsavory men take advantage of them feeding this need for love they so desire.

This can happen even if a daughter has her own father at home who is either not the loving kind or a workaholic who isn’t home very much but she’s less likely to act out in this way if she has a normal relationship with her dad.

Fatherless daughters tend to have sex at an earlier age and are more prone to teenage pregnancy. Girls with a dad already get healthy male affection so they have no need to seek it from their peers.

A girl is five times more likely to have sex by age 16 if her dad leaves before she is 6 and twice as likely if she stops living with her dad at 6 or older.


Her First Love:

I don’t mean this in a sexual way at all but her dad is her first love. He’s her superman, her knight in shining armor and the one that makes sure her dates treat her with respect. He’s the one she calls when her tire goes flat, when her date doesn’t act like a gentleman and she needs a ride home. Dads tend to say yes to fun stuff more than moms because dad can’t resist that face.

You’ve heard of the dad who sharpens his knives or cleans his shotguns when boys come to visit. Daddy makes sure his little girl is treated well. Her father tells her when her skirt is too short or her blouse too revealing. His daughter will not leave the house looking like a harlot.

Father Daughter Time:

Having that time together is special. Horse back riding, swimming lessons, learning to ride a bike and later drive a car. Moms can do some of these things too but dads have a different perspective and don’t mind if you get a little dirty or make a mistake. You just get right back up and do it until you learn how.

Relationships With Men:

Girls learn about proper unions between a man and a woman by watching her parents. If they have a dysfunctional marriage she may decide that all monogamy is bad and not for her or she may seek the wrong kind of guy to settle down with ending in one or more poor relationships.

Even if her parent’s marriage ends in divorce if her dad continues to see her and keep their bond in tact she still may learn that not all men are bad and seek a guy who is like dear ol’ dad. If her own father is a good man and just not compatible with her mother she still may be successful in finding a good match.

Men Aren’t Perfect:

Girls growing up in a home without their dad don’t get to see the opposite sex for who they are and expect them to be manly versions of women. Having a dad in her life lets her see that guys are often more messy than women, have worse tempers, swear and sometimes smell. They learn to accept them flaws and all.

Better Grades In School:

Studies show that girls that have their father in the home do better in school. Daughters that do outstanding in their field tend to have a supportive dad behind them encouraging and telling them they can do anything.


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    • Hayder Al-Siraj profile image

      Hayder Al-Siraj 4 years ago from Manchester, UK

      I enjoyed reading this, I am still single though, and I don't have kids either :)

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma

      Jean, I didn't say they were the most important, I simply said daughters need their dads.

    • profile image

      Jean 5 years ago

      Moms and dads need to be in their children's lives, but dads are not the most important to daughters. That is such a wrong statement

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma

      That is too bad, DoItForHer. Children need their dad and not just his money but the courts don't always see things that way.

    • profile image

      DoItForHer 5 years ago

      I've lost my family and friends and much more because my daughter was abducted. Now she refuses to acknowledge me. I do blame Mom, but I also blame the teachers, nurses, judges, doctors, friends, family and the societal view that condones fathers being removed from children.

      However, the same people that take action to remove fathers, will also say how they support paternal rights. Too much talk and too much hypocrisy.

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 5 years ago from Oklahoma

      That's a shame, Rachel. Unfortunately, our laws don't always take into account what is best for the child.

      I'm not sure if there is a share button but you can copy the link and post it in your status update box. Thanks for reading.

    • Rachel Marcengill profile image

      Rachel Marcengill 5 years ago

      When my husband and I married 6 years ago he had a decent relationship with his ex-wife. However, the week that we got married she kept their two girls from him and has continued to do it to this day. We have gone to court numerous times as my husband fights for his little girls. We will have them back for a year or two (until she finds her next husband) then we have to wait on a court date to even see them. Those poor girls never know when they will see their daddy again or when they won't! It's so sad and affects everyone in our family of 7. I would love to be able to share this article with someone on fb, is there a share button?

    • profile image

      robert 6 years ago

      i am fourty five and raised four children alone for 16 years

      i had three girls and one son

      and i lost two daughters the one daughter i have not seen in five years and the other is 19 and just married a 35 year old

      I will not see these girls again as long as I live

      exactly what the NEW WORLD ORDER WANTED

      henrymakow com

      infowars com

    • profile image

      nikhil_rodrigues 6 years ago

      Madam, that was really a beautiful piece of article...

      Although I am a teenager boy, I understand the duty and role of a father in moulding his daughter's path to success. It's obvious that the father feels the 'loneliness' (especially, when he has only one daughter) when his daughter leaves him after marriage since the bond breaks.

      But he is proud at the same time that he had done his duty to safeguard his daughter's future.

      I hope majority of the fathers and their daughters remind of this during Father's Day, just the same way when a son feels the special bond with his mother and expresses on Mother's day.

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Jennifer, thanks for reading.

    • jenniferg78 profile image

      jenniferg78 6 years ago from Philadelphia, PA

      Great post and so true! Any girl who has had a good relationship with their dad will agree.

      Thanks for all the statistics. Very interesting.

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Sorry to hear of your loss, Jess. At 15 you have had the full benefit of a father even though you lost him young.

    • profile image

      jess 6 years ago

      wow this makes me feel like crap since my dad died at 15. It would be nice to get a hug every now and again...

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Jean, no one said anything negative about mothers. The article was about the importance of fathers in a daughter's life but it was not meant to undermine the importance of mothers. You misunderstood.

    • profile image

      Jean 6 years ago

      So sorry most of you feel the need to say that a girl needs a dad so much. I have found that to be just the opposite. I grew up with a loving dad and most of my friends who I associate with did also. But, my mom was the supportive one who helped me keep my head on. She taught me about men. She was the most important parent in my and my sisters' lives.

      I have two nieces whose father abandoned them, and they have grown up to bw well rounded, confident young ladies.

      I have another niece who grew up with her loving father in the house and she ran wild with boys and got pregnant with my beautiful great niece who we all love.

      We should not place the father on a pedestal as being so needed and the best parent. God did not intend for us to undermine mothers' importance. Please stop following this trend that so many misguided people are following.


      Mothers carry and give birth in tremendous pain to their daughters and sons. Please stop this negative crusade against mothers!! It is wrong!!

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Kelleyward, I have two sons and a daughter and they all are very attached to their dad. They would be lost without him.

    • profile image

      kelleyward 6 years ago

      Very interesting article. I only have 3 boys so I can't directly relate but I have read about how girls need a dad to develop in a healthy way. Thanks for the interesting hub!

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Glad you have a good relationship with your dad, McKenzie. He sounds like a great guy.

    • profile image

      Mckenzie 6 years ago

      I think its very true that every girl needs their father more than their mother. My father is there for me and so is my mom but my dad is there for me more and is there when I need to talk to him about anything.. I dont know anyone who would not want a dad like mine. I love him with all my heart:)

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Freelanceauthor, there are always exceptions to every rule but the majority of girls with a father in the home do best in academics.

    • freelanceauthor profile image

      freelanceauthor 6 years ago

      Interesting hub. Although the studies that show that girls that have their father in the home do better in school do not apply to me. Cheers

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Yes, it does, Lex123, unfortunately many don't have that these days.

    • lex123 profile image

      lex123 6 years ago

      Girls with good fathers are really lucky. A father's support and guidance make a great difference in a daughter's life.

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Minima, you were smart to get your daughters away from him. Not all dads are good parents and in those cases it's not a healthy relationship. It's a shame but it does happen.

    • MINIMA profile image

      MINIMA 6 years ago from New Zealand

      I do agree with this issue as I had my dad with me in all aspects of life but unfortunately it is not so for my daughters. I walked out of a problem marriage when my eldest was in her late teens and the youngest was just 9. The dad never ever played any important role in the girls lives when we were together. Neither did he ever supported the girls.My youngest daughter is 17 and looks up at her brother 22 for that fatherly figure and support. The dad is alive but do not care for his own children. But I am glad he is not in their lives as he does not the daughter- father relationship as to him all girls are women and women are for pleasure.

      I am sorry to be blunt but I know not all fathers are like him.

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      RhebaE, I haven't seen that show but that is how it is with dads, they make sure their daughters are protected.

      Slaffery, I'm glad your daughter has her dad to give her the support and love she needs. We need more great dads in this world.

    • slaffery profile image

      slaffery 6 years ago from Kansas, USA

      This was right on!! I loved all of it. I was thinking about my husband and our oldest daughter and how close they are. You put it all into perspective for me and I will go home and hug my hubby and be thankful that he is such a great dad to her. I appreciate this article. :)

    • RhebaE profile image

      RhebaE 6 years ago from San Francisco Bay Area, CA

      Wonderful article. This reminds me of an episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey where Kathy's husband got overprotective at a party when an older guy tried to hit on his 16 year old daughter. He said something about his daughter being his "baby" and his job as a father to protect her. If people didn't like it, too bad. When I saw that my first thought was, "good for him. All fathers should be like that towards their daughters." Young women who have their dads support are far less likely statistically to fall into negative relationships with men.

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      KTrapp, it does make a difference in how they relate to men when they get older. Their first interactions with the opposite sex is through their fathers.

    • ktrapp profile image

      Kristin Trapp 6 years ago from Illinois

      Thanks Pamela. Girls definitely do need their fathers and might I add fathers need their daughters. It seems to be a very special relationship and critical to their future relationships with other men.

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Saddlerider, it is sad that people keep their children from seeing the other parent due to personal reasons. If the parent isn't abusive or neglectful there is no reason they should be kept apart.

      Since at least one of your daughters is an adult maybe you can reconnect with her.

    • saddlerider1 profile image

      saddlerider1 6 years ago

      I have an ex who tore both my daughters from me, I guess she figured if I was going to divorce her she would ensure my daughters divorced their dad. My 27 yr old I have not seen, heard from or spoken to since she was sixteen.

      My 15 yr old was pulled from me when she was 12. Now how sad is all that. No I can't watch the video, here I am becoming a senior and healthy and here for both of them and they both know it, but their mother poisoned their minds and turned them on their one and only daddy. I know they will stand over my graveside in a few years and both be sad that they did not have a relationship with me while I was alive.

      I don't wish this upon any father or mother. I lost my dad when I was 10 and I lived with regret most of my life. I write dark poetry for reasons and I can't tell you how important the unity of a family is tremendously important even if there is a divorce involved.

      The children should not be used as pawns in a marriage breakup and to often they are. Thank you Pam for sharing this very important story with us all....many mom's and dad's are estranged from their children, very very sad indeed.

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Angie, I can't watch that video without tearing up every time, it's a very moving song. Thanks for reading.

    • Angie Jardine profile image

      Angie Jardine 6 years ago from Cornwall, land of the eternally youthful mind ...

      Great hub, Pamela ... even if it did have me crying over that video. My dad was always there for me and I guess I never really realised that until he after he died ...

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      DJ, I'll check our you articles. Thanks for reading.

      Will, it does seem that a mom and dad are book ends that hold everything upright and when you are lacking one everything seems to fall over.

      Ahorseback, thank you for reading.

    • ahorseback profile image

      ahorseback 6 years ago

      Pamela , One thing I truly love about hubs is how ones like you'res help guys like me to ...hopefully always better our relationships. When i read something that reaches inside me and yanks something, I know its for the good! Thank you for caring about others!:-}

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      I agree with Dusty. When teens go through puberty, they often challenge authority, and moms may not be up to the task.

      Enter Dad.

      My brood knew from their early days that Dad could either be a lamb or a curly-haired wolf depending on the situation, so they walked with caution around me, including my daughter. They might buffalo mom, but not dad, and they knew it.

      That's the way it's supposed to work.

      That's why both parents are so important, if at all possible.

    • aka-dj profile image

      aka-dj 6 years ago from Australia

      What do you mean, "men aren't perfect"? LOL

      I have two daughters, and I LOVED being their dad, (well, I still do, but they have their own families).

      Now, I have a granddaughter. It seems I was destined to be a father (figure) to girls. I have another grandchild due soon, I would not be at all surprised (certainly not disappointed) if it will be another girl.

      Nice hub. I also wrote a couple of hubs to men, along these lines, (IE. be responsible treat your partner right, etc.)

      Blessings. Dj

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      BkCreative, I don't think many realize how important it is for girls to have her father around. They think she needs her mom for a role model but fail to realize the importance a dad has in his daughter's life. Thanks for reading.

    • BkCreative profile image

      BkCreative 6 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

      It just appalls me that girls are left out of this equation. We only hear about how boys need a dad - huh? Let's talk ying and yang and balance - boys get mothers, girls get...well, no balance in her life. Where is the male balance. Yet we only hear about boys and this in a patriarchial society meaning girls are even more disfranchised.

      My father was my hero - without him I would be useless - he let me know how a man should treat me and this is how he treated my mother.

      Another problem is that mom is left alone to raise children. What an image for a young girl - mom playing all the roles. But yet we still say it is the boy that needs a father in this single mom household. Nature shows us that dads and boys are likely to have conflicts and moms and daughters. We need the balance of opposite genders.

      Thanks for a great hub! Rated up!

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Thanks, Pam. It is close to my heart.

    • Pamela99 profile image

      Pamela Oglesby 6 years ago from United States

      Pam, I think this is such an important topic and you did an excellent job with this hub.

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Dusty that is an excellent point I failed to add. At puberty moms and daughters do tend to have a harder time getting along, it's the same for fathers and sons. I think it's natures way of helping us push them out of the nest. Dad can be a buffer during those difficult times.

      Breakfastpop, I didn't have my dad around but my grandfather was a positive role in my life. I looked for a man who had his characteristics and have been happy with my choice.

    • breakfastpop profile image

      breakfastpop 6 years ago

      My Dad was amazing and when I started dating I always looked for a guy with the same qualities as my Dad. I found one and we just celebrated 44. years of marriage.

    • 50 Caliber profile image

      50 Caliber 6 years ago from Arizona

      I totally agree, 'cuz somewhere around puberty, seems the mother daughter wars begin, they just loose ability for what ever reason to get along. It's Dads time to step in all the way and level the playing field, calm things down and use the magic word "NO". I just was involved in a discussion on a site that is about "training and survival skills" a good friend hosts the forum on "disaster preparedness" I've been in the woods with him. We had a knife, pistol, pocket survival tin the size of a cough lozenge tin that had cord, flint and steel and mini multi-tool, fish hooks and line, any way just the clothes on our back and the stuff we carry every day on our person.

      He has 2 daughters and were talking 11 and 13, he takes them to the woods and teaches them how to do and they like it. He takes them separately, 1 at a time. Somebody asked how he kept them off the video games, cellphones and all the crap that has erased childhood. His reply was they don't have cell phones, video game box and TV has a time limit on it, as well he has Bible time with them and the ultimate part of his answer "I'M THE PARENT AND I USE NO".

      To me that is where it's at, he doesn't say no and leave them sitting twiddling their thumbs, he's involved in their life and teaches them the way they should go, it's not denial of anything important, it's replacing crap, with substance!

      I currently have two women staying here, that came to help me out. neither had a Dad in 1978, they were 4 and after a couple years of getting past my problems after my discharge from the Marines I got involved with them at 6 and hauled them around with me until they were around 16 and held them to an idle until 18. Short of that I don't know how they would have turned out growing up with no Dad. They call me "Uncle Fudd" or just Fudd an old joke from cartoons because I had them out hunting with me and let them do things after teaching them the safety first rules, that they found fun and didn't miss doing the telephone jaw jacking teens did before cell phones and staring at the TV. At 14 both were stick shift 1941 jeep drivers. On Saturday nights we'd fold the windshield down and one would drive down the rail road service roads at night and we'd take turns shooting wabbits in the head lights, so be vewwy quiete, we were hunting wabbits.

      Ah to much said, but a great article, dust

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Case1Worker, it's not good to hold a bad marriage together for the sake of the children but if they do divorce it's important that both parents stay active in their children's lives.

    • CASE1WORKER profile image

      CASE1WORKER 6 years ago from UNITED KINGDOM

      dad's have a role as do other members of the family. i think a lot of mums know this and will cling to a relationship in order to provide stability for their children

    • Pamela N Red profile image

      Pamela N Red 6 years ago from Oklahoma

      Thanks for reading, Tobey.

      Will, it's a shame that so many fathers are absent from their children's lives.

      Marellen, my mother had a great father but didn't seem to be able to find a good man so it does happen. Statistically women have a better chance of finding a good man if they had a healthy relationship with their father.

    • profile image

      marellen 6 years ago

      Pam...good advice..My Dad was a good loving and fun natured man and I was blessed but my poor daughter wasn't. She has a poop for a Dad and even though I had a good man for a Dad, I couldn't and still can't find a good one...

    • WillStarr profile image

      WillStarr 6 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

      Thank you Pamela! The role of the father has been so marginalized in the last forty years that many now believe that he is of little importance. Nothing could be futher from the truth. The FBI statistics show that the absence of a father in the home contributes greatly to youthful criminal activity.

    • tobey100 profile image

      tobey100 6 years ago from Whites Creek, Tennessee

      Excellent. I thoroughly enjoyed it. 'Course, I have no daughters but nonetheless, sound advice.


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