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Days of Our Lives Episode One: In Search of Family
The Birth of a New Series
I get restless. I admit it. After almost four years here at HP, I get tired of doing the same old same old. And since my muse won’t shut up, I’m forced to listen to her from time to time and take her suggestions.
This was one of them. A new series.
No, I’m not abandoning the old series. I’m just adding another to the growing list of series.
Get it?
So enough with the introduction. Let’s begin and you’ll see soon enough what this series is about.
Listen closely. Can you hear it? It’s the sound of another wall tumbling down.
The Past
You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.
I won the birth lottery.
Yes I’m adopted and yes, my first nine months were spent in nine different foster homes, but after that flurry of activity I was adopted by Dale LeRoy and Evelyn Josephine Holland, and I became an instant winner in the birth lottery.
My family may not have been perfect but it was the perfect family for me. I had loving parents who made sure I knew how much I was loved; I had a loving sister; and I had an extended family, grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles, cousins galore, and all were marvelous. I’m sixty-six now but I remember clearly the family get-togethers, the meals, the gifts, the story-telling, the laughter and the love. I remember thinking, as a young teen, just how lucky I was. I loved my family, they loved me, and I completely understood the importance of a loving family unit.
And then it disintegrated.
By the time I was nineteen they were all dead except for my mother and sister, and shortly after my dad’s funeral my sister and her family moved to North Dakota. Our once vibrant, fun-filled family was shrinking rapidly, and suddenly holidays were not as special and laughter could not be heard from 4022 North 18th Street in Tacoma, Washington.
The end of college meant joining the workforce full-time for me, and my mother re-married, and another layer of separation appeared as family memories faded and a new reality appeared.
So I Tried Different Remedies
The adopted kid who had won the lottery tried to form a family of his own, got married, instant fatherhood of two teens, was woefully unprepared for the responsibilities, tried maniacally at times to create the family of his memories and failed, failed, failed time and time again to achieve the unachievable.
Divorce, drifting, random dating, play the fool, playing the happy-go-lucky, bend that elbow and lift a toast to the way things used to be and the way things could never be again. Then raise another toast, and another, until the reason for the toasts was lost in the amber elixir, and night resembled day, and day night, and the lance-bearing tilter of windmills couldn’t find his lance, couldn’t find his trusty steed and forgot completely the purpose of his quest. Decades flashed by, the blink of an eye, a son was adopted by the adoptee, a small family formed, new traditions started, a facsimile of the past, manufactured, practiced, fine-tuned, a father and son, both castoffs, both wondering if that’s all there is.
BEV
She was born, really, to two absentee parents. Raised herself basically, the concept of family a cruel joke that others understood but she was not privy to. All she knew was that she wanted it.
A young bride, a young mother, and then a mother again, and divorce arrived on the doorstep, and love again, motherhood again, and again, and those same decades flashed by until the young mother was middle-aged with four children, no husband and each day a flurry of hard work, paying bills and looking for the light at the end of the tunnel.
But she was determined. She raised that family, she established family traditions and she nurtured, loved and achieved her goal. All that was missing for this beautiful woman was a loving husband, a partner, someone to laugh with, to hold, to cherish and to partner with as the sun sets on life and the remaining years rush up to greet her.
2007
And so they met, the man who once had family but had lost it, and the woman who never had family but formed her own. As one might suspect trust was a big issue, tentative steps at first, wary at best, one eye on the exit door in case pain approached, one hand on the ripcord, just waiting for that inevitable moment of breakup and again, incompleteness. Four kids with one, one kid with the other, the instant American family built upon a foundation of hope and insecurity.
But somehow it worked!
Somehow they suspended distrust just long enough to have a chance. Somehow they pushed aside the pain of the past just long enough to allow happiness to sneak in the backdoor. Somehow love had its way.
The adopted kid and the forgotten kid found each other and miraculously, it was enough to form a strong foundation.
Love found a way!
2015
Bev’s youngest child, Allora, leaves for college in two weeks. The last to leave the nest and she is so excited. Bev’s oldest son is a registered nurse and is about to become a married man. Her second son is building homes in eastern Washington. The third son works in California now but will soon return to Olympia, and my son lives here in Olympia and continues to form his own life.
What do they all have in common?
All five know that they are loved.
All five know that family is a phone call away.
All five know that family is so much more than a six-letter word.
Family is an inside job. It does not depend on numbers or shared celebrations. It does not depend on proximity nor does it depend on daily contact.
Family depends on love and family depend on love, a play on words, perhaps, but the truth nonetheless.
We are family and therein is our treasure.
What’s Next?
I have no clue and in truth, that can be said for us all. Bev and I will begin our lives together in an empty nest but really, where there are family and love, no nest is ever empty. We will see our children often and we will share in their joys and provide support during their pains. We will gather together for holidays when possible but always be together in spirit. We will allow our pasts to be our foundations, we will share stories, form new traditions as new members are added, and remember those who pass on eventually.
And Bev and I will love the hell out of each other, and share in the joy that comes from knowing we did our best to pass on that all-important message…..
That love is the most important thing in life.
2015 William D. Holland (aka billybuc)
Comments
Aw, you two are as I have said before to you absolutely perfect together and seriously never tire hearing about your relationship. So can't thank you enough for sharing a bit more here today and looking forward to more of this series now. Happy Wednesday, Bill!! ;)
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Thank you Janine. I won the birth lottery and I won again when I met Bev. She's a keeper. :) Happy Wednesday to you, Janine, and more thanks than you can imagine.
I do so enjoy reading about your take on family life. It helps me fill in the gaps and try to understand what the concept of 'family' means to others. I do this with my kids a lot. I'm an only child so I'm always asking what it feels like to have a sibling, how they can say what I consider to be mean things to each other but still know they will be there for each other. I find that puzzling, but then, I find people puzzling in general.
Lovely read and I'm looking forward to more. Have a great afternoon (or is it morning for you?)
One thing shines through this - both of you have overcome all sorts of odds and through determination and love have found a bond and a life together that you both deserve. Those are one lucky bunch of kids, to have you two to look out for them.
I find that, although both my daughters have flown the nest, they are closer to me now than they ever were and we are much better as a family unit than we once were. In fact, that family unit has grown with the grandchildren and I revel in it. Luck came our way and sorted out a somewhat dysfunctional family into pieces of a jigsaw which fit tightly together.
This is a wonderful, cheering story, one which many should take comfort from and many more will be nodding and understanding exactly what it feels like.
Here's to you and your Bev and your wondeful family, bill! May you live long and prosper!
Ann :)
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It is morning, Zulma, and I'm trying to clear the fog from my brain and get busy. Thanks for your insights....my sister was eleven years older than me, so I really didn't have a sibling around the house.....and it was strange to be around large families where brothers and sisters were at times brutal to each other. :)
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Thank you Ann, and thank you for sharing a bit about your "dysfunctional family unit." I think it helps to hear the stories of others..we really are quite similar, all of us, if we are willing to share, listen and learn. :)
Have a superb Wednesday. It's good to have you back.
bill
Beautiful story Bill; almost all family stories even with the pitfalls in each one, are. Where there is love there is always a warm story to be told. I wish you and Bev many loving years!
Great to be back; I miss all my friends here if I haven't 'clocked in' for a few days!
Ann
A tribute to the human spirit my friend Bill and blessings to you and all in your wonderful family. whonu
It's this lack of insight into human nature and family dynamics that sometimes makes it difficult for me to flesh out characters. I am forever wondering if my characters are acting like real people or do there actions seem forced or unbelievable. Being reclusive can have it's drawbacks. :)
Bill, I can already tell that your new series is going to be a hit. The main ingredient of any successful family is "love" and you and Bev obviously have that in spades. Both my own and my wife's separate families were "broken"..mine after my parents' deaths, an hers after revelations of abuse, but together we have formed a strong unbreakable bond, have just celebrated 33 years together, four children, and 13 grand children. We love every one of them and feel their love in return..what more does one need? Can't wait to read the next in the series.
Billy Buc your stories are so beautiful and written from the heart. With all you have been through over the years, the results have been a magnificent piece of human art -as you spread so much love and goodness on hub pages and FB. You are a tremendous survivor and an inspiration to all who have the honor to read what you share. Many who have been where you have been would be bitter, but I believe you are saving lives and inspiring others to look at life differently. You are producing fruit, instead of resentment. You continue to be one of the most inspiring and beautiful persons I have met. What an honor! Sparklea :)
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Thank you very much, Jackie! I'll gladly accept those warm wishes.
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I've noticed, Ann, and I wasn't happy about it. :)
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Thank you whonu.....I am one lucky man, my friend.
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Zulma, being reclusive indeed has its drawbacks. I'm getting more and more so, and find I have to draw upon old memories of what people are like...and hope they still are. :)
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John, after four kids and thirteen grandkids, you should be writing this series and not me. :) Thanks for sharing your story with us....it is possible to put the ghosts to rest and start over....all it takes is a willingness to change.
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Lea, thank you so much. I'm just a human being who stumbles quite often but knows the intended direction....hit and miss...that's me...and with Bev I actually hit and hit. :) I appreciate such kind words. I'm embarrassed by them but I do appreciate them.
For all my ranting and raving, I truly believe that people are inherently good. I'm sure your recollections about people are still spot on. Catch you later. :)
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Okay, Zulma! I hope my recollections are correct or I'm senile. :)
I applaud your ambition and productivity. I wish you well as you launch this new series. I know how difficult one series can be let alone three. Good luck.
As a single person, there is the extended family—friends, each valued as family, each with their stories adding to one's own. And, here, I have a few more to add. This should make for a very good series, Bill. Finding that one person to share a love, a soul mate, how fortunate for you.
What a blessing to come to that stage of life, where you are able to fit the jagged pieces together and form a loving, happy family. You and Bev and the children make a good testimony to the beauty of family. Thanks for your inspirational share.
I love so many of your articles, but I think this is my favorite of them all. Wonderful, Bill. Looking forward to the new series.
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Mike, what I lack in talent I make up for in ambition. :) You gotta use what you gotta use, as my grandpa used to say. Not sure what he meant. LOL Thank you sir!
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I am very fortunate, Diva, and always have been. There was a time I couldn't see that but today life is all coming up roses.
Thank you my friend.
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Thank you Dora! I love my life today and I want to share it with others. I'm so happy you enjoyed this.
Very interesting account Bill. Not always easy for some of us, but it's a joy when we pull through. Congrats on your new series and I look forward to reading some more soon.
Yes, Love is all in Love, but you and I know this, I'm sure. Loving thoughts.
Another wonderful read.
A new series, now that's what I call GREAT! I'm sure you and Bev have many stories to share. ' Days of our lives ' rings a bell. Hee.
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Thank you Deb. I'm really glad you enjoyed it.
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Loving thoughts indeed, Manatita. I'm told it's what makes the world go round. :)
blessings my friend
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Thank you Larry! I'm very happy you enjoyed it.
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Hopefully, Ruby, it will ring a bell you enjoy. :) Thank you dear friend.
Bill,
I love the message of this hub-unconditionally.
And yes, the key is quite simple: love, and then love some more.
Blessings to you, Bev , your family, the cat and dogs.
Kim
The roads we take all lead us back to the beginning eventually. We come full circle in our lives. We begin with family and we end with family. There is no other way to be truly happy!
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Thank you, Kim, and blessings to you and yours.
bill
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I like that, Denise...full circle love. :) Thank you!
Congratulations on the birth of your new series Bill. Judging by the first instalment it is sure to be a great success. Undoubtedly your writing strengths lie in your ability to communicate with compassion and clarity the many complexities of personal relationships and relationships generally. Looking forward to more of the same :-)
Easy to see why that muse wanted you to get this story out there. Thank you, so much, for sharing it! Best wishes, and, congratulations! ;-)
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Smilealot, thank you very much. Now if I could only translate that strength into making money I'd be set. :) I appreciate it, my friend.
Dear Bill, your new series has started off with resounding glory and glow! I get tears in my eyes at the tenderness and joy woven into this Episode One. I've such admiration for your and Bev's love relationship, and that you've found the special key to it together. Looking forward to reading more in the series, though this first episode is a complete story in itself!
Thank you for sharing it.
Wow! what a journey you two have endured, and yeah! succeeded at it too :)
Bless you two :)
Wishing you and Bev many many years of togetherness so that you continue to enjoy family, traditions, and laughters to come!
xoxo
An interesting beginning and I especially enjoyed reading that quote of Bp. Desmond Tutu.
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Thank you Bill. I try to listen to my muse whenever she whispers to me.
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Thank you Nellieanna. It is a complete story and yet there are so many prequels and sequels. I'm glad you are along for the journey.
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Thank you so much, Ruchira. I'm hoping for the same thing and it will happen if we work at it.
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Thanks blossom....I don't mind taking backstage to Tutu! :)
When you share your family stories I can truly feel the love you all have for each other. That foundation of love lasts a lifetime and beyond. Thank you for sharing a little more of yourself. This is a series I look forward to reading.
The empty nest years can be some of the best--a deeper sense of intimacy--I hope you enjoy this time--and congrats in the new series!
Sounds like the start of something beautiful. Love hearing your story Bill. Some of the most solid, loving families are the unconventional ones. Look forward to this new series.
Oh, such a delightful read and I look forward to reading what's next after this.
Love from the sky~
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Thank you Marlene, but I have my muse to thank for it...and Bev of course. :)
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Thank you Audrey! I'm sure looking forward to them. :)
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Thank you Bill. If nothing else, we qualify as unconventional for sure.
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Cris, thank you so much. I look forward to writing it.
blessings and hugs from Olympia
bill
bev is beautiful bill....you lucky devil. family is key, but timr breeds separation
What a wonderful idea for a new series, Bill! "All we need is love, love ...love is all we need." Thank you for sharing more of your ever-growing and unending love story. Truth be known, all families are a bit dysfunctional. My husband and I are empty-nesters ...well, not really, for when the three grandchildren arrive and one more on the way ...too much fun to be had! I am the oldest of four siblings and have been married to my high school sweetheart for 37 years on the 16th of this month. One daughter and one son and many family pets throughout the years. My son made me a grandmother when he turned 19 and he is not stopping LOL. I was in my 40s, and got over it real quick after seeing those precious little ones.
I know you and Bev will enjoy each other for the rest of days, and I hope I am around when you become PawPaw Bill : )
Hugs and much love to you and your lovely family. I am looking forward to more in this series.
Oh Bill my friend, as never before, this article is revealing your enthusiasm for fullness of life , overcoming difficulties in search for ever present love's manifestation. Finally, you've hit a winner when Bev came into your life and you two started joint journey spreading aroma of love around everyone who know you. I can feel it in spirit of your writing and my heart rejoice with you knowing that so many of us share similar destiny in this game called life.
May the blessings follow you and yours always.
Bill, what an incredible start to this series! You write beautifully and so candidly about your life and family. Your love and admiration for Bev, and indeed, your family as a whole is nothing less than inspiring. You and Bev are the proof that love can conquer all. Looking forward to this new series. Have a wonderful day, my very best to you and Bev. Make the most of that empty nest, not only do the chicks return, they'll also bring their mates. :)
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Clive, I am a lucky devil for sure. Thank you sir!
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Faith, I would say I'm way overdue for being a PawPaw. And you are much too young. Somewhere we meet in the middle and average out. LOL Thank you dear friend, and love, hugs and blessings are heading your way.
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Michael my friend, I love your line "the aroma of love." That is a perfect description and I thank you for it.
A willingness to not give up...I knew there were rewards waiting for me. I just had to find the right path. :)
Blessings to you always, Michael.
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Jo, thank you so very much, and you are certainly correct about chicks returning plus extra baggage. LOL Again, thank you!
I'm glad the two of you found what you need in each other.
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Thank you Flourish. I'm pretty darned glad as well.
This looks like a great new series, Bill. I can hardly wait for the next installment. Your family disintegration when you were young is so typical of the post WWII families. I went through this as a child when my extended family moved to the four winds to find work in the late 40s and early 50s. Looking back, I can see that losing some of my cousins was almost as bad as losing a sibling. I was 8 before my sister and brother were born, so these cousins who lived on the same farm were like brothers to me. I missed them so much. I will never see them again because now they are all dead.
I don't believe that it was luck or coincidence that you and Bev found each other. It was meant to be. Much love to you both.
your hub as always seem greatly cheered ... this little episode makes spirits liven.. just the way you express yourself.. bless you and your family.. cheers
Bill, when you stop and think about the fact that you and Bev spent separate lifetimes searching for each other is mind-blowing. I have no doubt that you and Bev were destined for each other. Think about the travels, upsets, triumphs, struggles that you each experienced simultaneously - in different worlds - before fate finally brought you to that UPS (or was is U-Haul?) door. Pretty awesome, isn't it?
Well, Bill, you know what they say: 'No muse is good muse.' But not in this case, no, siree. I am delighted that you followed your muse and began this absorbing story. I am completely addicted already and will follow your muse-ings faithfully as you continue. All the best to you and Bev ... and the kids ... and the animals.
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Thank you for sharing your experience, MizB, and I agree with you....we were meant to find each other and I'm sure glad we did. Blessings to you, my friend.
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Thank you very much, Frank. I am one blessed man.
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UHaul it was, Sha. Good memory! I don't know how the fates work, but in this case I know for sure that they do. Parallel paths finally met and I'm sure glad they did.
Thank you dear friend.
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Thank you drbj...."no muse is good muse"....you are just too funny, my friend.
With any of your series, Bill, as always, we are all eyes, ears and heart. For you and Bev to meet was destiny...I really believe this. Love and hugs to you and your family. :-)
Maybe because it is late, I don't know, but I cried over your words, Bill. I guess it hit close to home about your family slowly moving apart. Your ending was uplifting and promising. We can choose to make a better future for our kids and face it with hope.
You learned so much from what you experienced and because of that your family is loving and close. I am happy for you.
You've said it so beautifully.....no more words are needed. Truth is.....just a big bear hug and a wish of Life's Best for all of you!!
And thank you for sharing this heart-warming tale.. Love, Sis
wishing you a happy family life
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Thank you so much, Genna. Whatever caused our meeting to occur, I am grateful.
And I am grateful for you.
blessings always
bill
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Dianna, I have no doubt you understand this. Thank you for sharing in my joy. Blessings to you, dear friend.
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Thank you Pop! i'm pretty happy for us too. :)
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Thank you for the bear hug, Sis, and for the help earlier. Greatly appreciated. Family has each other's back. :)
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Thank you Sujaya, and the same to you.
It would seem you've won the lottery of life! I know the feeling though my road was not as long and hard as yours. The things so many think are important pale in comparison to the love of a family and a husband and wife.
As always Bill, you've nailed it.
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Mary, you summed it up perfectly at the end. Priorities, my friend.
Thank you as always, Mary! Have a great week.
Hey bro...I try to do my share to protect us from the Boogie Man! It's a spooky world out there!
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True words, Sis. I'm confident that between the two of us we can defeat that bugger. :) Have a great Monday!
Family....what a topic....no doubt you will find me here as each new chapter appears.
It is often a circuitous route that leads home to 'real' family.
Know that hugs and blessings are on the way on the wings of Angels bill....
ps
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PS, a circuitous route indeed, but the final destination is so worth it. Thank you dear friend. Blessings and hugs are heading your way once again.
bill
A great new series, you and Bev are made for each other! Family is a gift from God to be cherished every minute. To be loved and know that someone is always to have your back is a great feeling. Thank you for sharing this.
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I feel exactly the same way, Vellur. You gave the perfect description and I thank you.
A great story with happiness. There will never be an end, as the family unit will always proliferate, but that is what it is all about.
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It is indeed what it is all about, Deb. Thank you!
Bill
I could identify with much of this hub. Keep the new series coming!
Lawrence
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Thank you very much, Lawrence. I try to write in such a way that others can relate to it...so thank you.
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