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Disobedience, Discipline, and Children
"Children, obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the Lord." Colossians 3:20 K.J.V.
Disobedience and discipline do not go hand in hand. Chances are, if you have a child who is disobedient, then that child is probably categorized as undisciplined.
Today, discipline is one of the most important things a child needs to learn, but it is one of the most ignored things, and children suffer because of their lack of it.
Since disobedience does not go along with discipline, then its opposite, obedience, must go along with it. It is this act, the act of obedience, that most children have a problem with.
Why is this? Why do children have such a problem with obedience?
Webster's Dictionary describes obedience as 'the act of obeying, or the state of being obedient,' so disobedience would be the opposite of this. Thinking about disobedience caused me to realize that people are not disobedient but rather obedient to either the right or wrong thing.
When a child is being disobedient, that is, refusing to obey a parent or a teacher, he is in fact, obeying his own will instead of the relevant authority. This disobedience, if allowed to continue, leads to a lack of discipline.
"For as by one man's disobedience many were made sinners, so by the obedience of one shall many be made righteous." Romans 5:19 K.J.V.
Why Does My Child Need To Be Disciplined?
I know many parents who, though they think that other people's children need to be disciplined, think nothing of disciplining their own child. They do not consider that a child who is not disciplined will be more than a handful to not only them, but others as well. As a matter of fact, it seems to me, that parents believe and expect the teacher to easily accomplish educating their child to the highest degree without disciplining them.
A child with no control over themselves will not be the easiest child to deal with in a class. This child will refuse and answer teachers disrespectfully, influence his classmates to do the same, and, on a whole, disrupt the class. Not only will the undisciplined child hinder his education but other children's as well.
As a parent you should realize that your child, depending on how you raise them, will either help or hurt society.
"A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother." Proverbs 10:1 K.J.V.
"He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.: Proverbs 13:24 K.J.V.
"A fool hath no delight in understanding, but that his heart may discover itself." Proverbs 18:2 K.J.V.
Why Can't Teachers Discipline Children?
Often, when speaking to a parent whose child has a discipline problem, I get told that the child does not perform well at school. I also hear the complaint that the teacher is either not being hard enough on the student, or that the teacher is not being considerate enough of the student.
Either way, blame is being put on the teacher and not on the student. A teacher does need to have a level of discipline in his class but he should not have to enforce discipline very much. I firmly believe that the more a child is raised to be obedient and/or respectful to people in authority, the less problems the child will have at school.
If a teacher has to spend time correcting a child about behavior, then the time the teacher spends correcting has to be taken away from the time a teacher spends teaching. Its simple Math, really.
With all of the red tape that exists in schools today it is very hard for a teacher to find inventive ways to discipline children without being taken to task for it. A child can no longer be described as badly behaved but rather 'disruptive'. Parents cannot be told that their children do not listen and are disobedient, instead they are told that they are 'distracted'. It is my opinion that this watering down of words is harming children rather than hurting them. By walking on eggshells for fear of stepping on some toes with the truth, children are growing up to be hooligans, thugs, and bums, who have no regard for anything that does not concern them directly. This might seem to be a harsh statement but I have seen so many children who have no clue about respecting the elderly and who see nothing wrong with answering an adult rudely and they all have serious issues with their education as well. I say, and this makes sense to me, the more disciplined a person is, the more able he is to learn.
What About Homeschooling?
To me, Homeschooling is the better option. As a parent, you can make sure that your child is being educated the way you want them to be. You can be certain that your child does not get lost in class, never falls behind and every thing that he may not understand most likely will not get swept under the rug when homeschooling.
even if parents choose the option of Homeschooling, a child needs to be disciplined and obedient to authority to attain all of the education that is available to him. Too often, children who have a serious problem are taught at home without the problem being addressed. There are no rules enforced, there are no boundaries and the child is free to do what he wishes.
A child who gets away with everything, will not listen when the parent is trying to teach. Why? Because that child does not respect the parent since the parent has never taught him what respect is. He is a law unto himself and he therefore obeys only himself.
If you are not aware of it, or have never spoken to an in-disciplined teen with attitude, you should know that explaining respect is one of the hardest things to get them to understand. They have been so accustomed to having all of their protests reasoned out by parents that they believe that they need an answer for everything. The only people they blindly obey, besides themselves, is the friends (or bad apples as the child's parents call them) who led them 'astray'.
How Do I Train My Child To Be A Disciplined Individual?
It is simple really. You have to teach your child to obey other people besides himself.Do not let the small things go unchallenged. Do not explain everything - children are not stupid and they sometimes question authority so that they can cause you to look stupid in order to pamper a feeling of superiority within themselves. Teaching obedience only became a tricky thing when people started to think in the murky color of grey instead of black and white. Yes, each child is different and children have to think for themselves but not to the point where they think that words like self-control, morals and respect are curse words and all the profanities are a part of life. Not to the point where they believe that freedom is doing whatever you like when you like and forget the consequences. Not to the point where responsibility is thrown out the window and the parent is left to clean up the mess for an eternity. There are things that are wrong and there are things that are right. Teaching your child these things and expecting his respect and obedience to you will cause him to respect others and treat them as he should.