Do you think it is necessary to have a relationship with your immediate family?
When Families Hurt You
Family units have become complicated and some broken and torn to the point of no return. One in five children will lose touch with one parent forever. How can our lives become so chaotic that we have become lost souls and unable to love our families?
I often write about love, friendships, and commitment, but how has the world become so torn on the home front? With a new generation growing up without both parents, we will see more hatred, crime, and less compassion from these children, to the point that families will become almost non-existent.
So do you think it is necessary to have a relationships with your immediate family no matter what? I say that sometimes family members will all but forsake you, leaving you with feelings of doom and gloom and treat you far worse than a stranger on the street. Is love enough to conquer and forgive all in a household, when that one person makes your total life miserable and does nothing to show you love.
I don't think it is wrong to keep family members who are undesirable at arms length and not let them invade your life if they are negative and have full blown hatred towards you. I can say there have been family members in my immediate family that I have not loved and it was not because I didn't try, but because it was all but impossible. I forgave them, however the relationship was completely broken, damaged, and irreversable.
I think we all start out in life wanting to be loved by everyone in our family but sometimes the damage that is done is hard to get out of and correct it. Everyone has their own ideas of what a relationship should be, but I think if it is unhealthy then no you don't need to have a relationship with them.
Sometimes in life we just have to move on from people who mean us harm and don't care about us. It doesn't mean you can't love them but sometimes you just have to love them from a distance. If you have to do this and you tried your hardest to make amends, then move on and not let your family ruin your life.
Can you ever repair the damage?
My children and I have had strained relationships on and off during the years. They are both grown men but communication sometimes gets twisted. It is very hard when your children choose not to talk to you for a long period of time because of them just being selfish. But I am selfish I guess also but at least I can admit our down fall. When our relationship is good its good but when its bad its just bad.
We just have the I am the one that is right syndrome and I am sure there are many families that can say this also. I am stubborn and so are they. Well DUH I had them and they are part of me so this is just one trait I passed on to them.
Families do not always mean your blood relatives
I have two groups of ladies that I talk to on Facebook. The first group are childhood friends and classmates and the second group are ladies I met on the internet that all have the same connection in one way or another. I consider them my family. We have not seen each other for years or not at all and we connect like family. We pray for each other, give each other advice and when we are happy we all are happy. When one person is down we all feel it. I have learned to love these ladies just like they were my sisters and it feels good to have real friends that can relate to how I feel. Just because your immediate family does not want a relationship with you, doesn't mean you can't have relationship with a made up family. They may prove to be better then your blood relatives. We all need to trust someone in our lives with our most precious thoughts and needs.
Families who hold prejudice grudges
Here we have the family unit that won't speak to a member of the family because they are gay, or with a person not of their color, or not of their nationality, or because their partner has red hair. I have lived through the prejudice of marrying out of my race and having mixed children. I have never let this stop me from being who I am. I would rather live with my black husband and be happy then live with my family who would disown me because of something that stupid. People are people and it doesn't matter their race, religion, or natural origin that makes them who they are. It's what is inside that counts. If your family does not want you because of these reasons then you need to decide what is more important in your life. You being happy or making them happy.