Are All Sons Equal in Their Parents’ Heart?
The Usual Thoughts
One may wonder if their parent loves his siblings more. I believe we all experienced such feelings. A parent may fall in the trap of discrimination between their sons unintentionally or, in exceptional cases, on purpose. But does they really love all their children equally?
Since I became a mother, I realized how a parent loves all their children equally but differently, according to the gender and circumstances. Siblings are different in characters and their needs or what satisfies them differ. A mother loves her ill child more than his siblings till he gets well. She loves the boy by making sure he is extra strong and more responsible whereas she loves the girl by ensuring she is extra elegant and soft. She loves the elder as they are the first baby and the youngest for being the little and the helpless one in the family.
The problem is that sons usually don’t realize that until they get parents in turn. A son may spend all his life thinking that his sibling is the favorite to his parents and act accordingly concluding unreal beliefs. Sometimes, I feel that when Cain killed Abel, it happened because of accumulative negative thoughts in their daily life prior to the last motive stated to us. No wonder that we see that happening over and over again, and will continue till the end of this earth, since it has been set up as the course of our life. The weird thing is that even the regret following any harm caused by a brother to his brother is repetitive in the same way! Oh, what a heritage!
The Brotherly Relationship
This point drives us to the relationship between siblings and the parent role to strengthen it. Many parents don’t pay attention to their actions’ reflections on their kids, or to their kids’ reactions either, throughout the parenting process. They need to be attentive to their behavior, and as much as they can, explain their actions. This can make all avoid misunderstanding especially on the long run. Besides, a parent should always entrench in their sons‘ minds that they are the backbone of each other, and they are one unit that cannot be apart. Also, they have to wish each other all the good from their deep heart. This clarification and constant emphasis would clear any grudge between siblings before it enlarges. This does not mean that brothers are necessarily peaceful all the time. Not Realistic. They may fight constantly, have clashes, but at the end of the day they are loving brothers.
There is an Egyptian proverb stating “My brother and I are against our cousin, and my cousin and I are against the stranger”.
Nevertheless, we can’t deny there are exceptions. There are parents who do love one son more than the others. They know it, feel it and demonstrate it without any effort to hide it. Here, the issue flares up and all would suffer, not only brothers.
We all know about the prophet Joseph and his jealous brothers. Yes, the story is full of drama, and he ended up being the greatest and the most powerful, but there was a lot of tragedy and suffering for him and his father.
Parents’ Required Careful Behavior
Similar tragic stories took place because of such a tiny spark of jealousy. So, why? We can all live happily ever after, only if we act carefully with no shade of discrimination between brothers.